After I sent out the post last week talking about getting serious about spiritual discipline (which you can read here), I received this message: (permission to reprint granted by author)

“Pavini, while I appreciate the sentiment, you made it sound so easy, like boom, after 20 years you just woke up and could practice consistently because you care about the state of your soul. I do care about the state of my soul, so that’s not my issue. It’s not hard for me to meditate, but I don’t have a teacher, and I don’t know if I’m making any progress. It feels like I keep showing up, but nothing is really happening.”

They were right.

I bet other people noticed that omission and were unconvinced by how easy I made it sound.

So let me say it plainly: I have had many experiences of not practicing, and not all of them are due to resistance.

Here are four other distinct reasons I’ve watched people fall away from all kinds of practice, including myself.

1. Imposter syndrome.

I was sitting in a spiritual circle recently when someone shared that they feel like an imposter when they sit at their altar. That they don’t feel worthy.

This one is sneaky because it can masquerade as humility.

As in, ‘Who am I to ask for this? Who am I to take up space at the altar of something so vast?’

The practice is right there staring at you, but you can’t cross the threshold because some part of you believes you haven’t earned it.

2. The Gap.

When I was training in Aikido, this goblin showed up every class: I’m never gonna get this. It is taking too long. It is soo hard.

When starting anything new, there is a gap between where you are and where you long to be, and from that starting point, there is a long learning curve ahead.

Fear and impatience turn up together. Failing again and again as you learn a new thing sucks.

“The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.” -- Stephen McCranie

Yes, it’s true that the practice is challenging, but the Gap is even more challenging to face, and can be enough to turn you from your discipline.

3. Comparing yourself to others.

The second Aikido goblin: Everyone else is so much better than me.

I’d look around at people whose bodies already knew things mine was still fumbling toward.

The clean throws. The graceful take-downs.

I’d be sore after each class, but honestly, it was my ego that hurt more than my body. After a year, I gave up, because I couldn’t take the ego pain.

That was ten years ago, which, as it turns out, is how long it takes to get skillful at Aikido.

If I’d been able to hack the comparing mind, I could have been good by now.

Here’s the thing I learned:

Ten years is going to pass regardless of whether or not you practice

Comparing to others who are better at the thing than you, either because of talent or time already invested is going to take you out, every time.

4. Not knowing if it’s working.

This is the one the reader named, and I don’t want to skip past it.

You show up. You sit. You light the candle or say the prayer or move through the sequence.

And then... what?

Nothing seems to happen.

No visions, no clarity, no obvious sign that any of it is being received by the Divine, or that it’s working.

This particular ache, sincere effort meeting apparent silence, is one of the loneliest places on a spiritual path.

It’s also, in my experience, one of the most fertile.

But knowing that intellectually doesn’t make the silence less disorienting, and it’s exactly what I want to work with in the teaching.

In my next post, I’m going to explore a few more blocks to your spiritual practice in preparation for the live teaching on April 9. ​

In the meantime, if any of these four have been living in your body while you read, that’s good to bring with you to class.

​How to Build the Muscle of Spiritual Discipline ​

In this 90-minute live teaching, you’ll learn how to:

* Identify and work with the top obstacles that block your practice

* Clarify the purpose and function of your practice so it actually supports your spiritual goals

* Build a rhythm, environment, and daily habits that make practice sustainable

* Show up even when motivation is low, without guilt or burnout

Thursday, April 9, 2026 | 7 PM EDT, 4 PM PDT | All faiths and levels | Pay what you can

If any of this lands, if you long for a consistent connection with the Divine, come do the deeper work with me on April 9.https://pavinimoray.kit.com/products/building-the-muscle-of-spiritual-discipline

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