The Savanna Noelle Podcast

Why You Stay When You Should Go


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You left. And then you went back. Multiple times. The shame is real as is the self judgement. I know this feeling well.

The the voice in your head says — what is wrong with you? Why do you continue going back to the person who hurts you?

Research shows it takes an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship. Seven. And it isn’t because you’re crazy or weak but because the addiction is real and so is the withdrawal. I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit, but when we can really unpack the dynamic and not just pathologize ourselves and them but truly deepen in our grace and love for our nervous system trying to protect us, we start to see that the work we are required to do to heal is within our reach.

I had to physically move to another state to sever the highly addictive abusive relationship I was involved in for 5 years in order to truly understand the hold it had on me.

In this second episode of this two part series, I share what breaking a trauma bond actually looks like. We talk about the shame of going back and the grief nobody prepares you for. And of course, the path that leads you back to yourself.

This episode is about finding your way back to you.

Listen to Part 2 — Trauma Bonding: Coming Home to Yourself — wherever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening. I’m super grateful. Please like, share, and subscribe here and on other platforms. Your ratings and review helps me get this podcast into more ears.



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The Savanna Noelle PodcastBy Boundaries, attachment, and nervous system awareness for emotional resilience