Episode Description

You know what you want to say.

You know what you should ask for.

And yet somehow, in the moment, you hold back.

In this episode of Leader on the Rise, Mim Abbey explores why so many capable professionals struggle to advocate for themselves at work—even when they know exactly what needs to be said.

Drawing from neuroscience, leadership psychology, and executive coaching, Mim explains why self-advocacy is not simply a confidence issue. Instead, it is often a deeply learned response to perceived social risk, rejection, and conflict.

You'll learn why professionals soften their messages, over-explain, delay important conversations, and defer to others—and how those patterns quietly limit leadership presence and career growth.

Most importantly, you'll learn how to replace those patterns with direct, credible, leadership-oriented communication that allows your voice, ideas, and perspective to be heard.

What You'll Learn

• Why self-advocacy is often misunderstood
• The neuroscience behind speaking up and holding back
• How social risk influences workplace behavior
• Why professionals soften, delay, and over-explain
• The difference between assertiveness and aggression
• The "Goldilocks Zone" of effective self-advocacy
• Why leadership requires clear self-representation
• How to communicate recommendations more directly
• The power of the One-Sentence Stand
• Practical ways to strengthen leadership voice and presence

Featured Research & Insights

• Naomi Eisenberger's UCLA research on social pain and social rejection
• The Cyberball study and its implications for workplace behavior
• Daniel Ames and Francis Flynn's Columbia Business School research on assertiveness and leadership effectiveness
• Research on workplace self-advocacy and career advancement
• Studies on leadership presence and communication credibility
• Neuroscience research on threat perception and decision-making
• Organizational psychology findings on influence and leadership visibility

Why It Matters

The cost of not advocating for yourself isn't simply missed opportunities.

It's misrepresentation.

People cannot value ideas they never hear.

Leaders cannot trust judgment that is never expressed.

Organizations cannot develop leadership potential they cannot see.

Learning to advocate for yourself isn't about becoming louder, more aggressive, or more self-promotional.

It's about representing reality clearly.

And the ability to do that—to communicate your perspective, needs, recommendations, and boundaries directly—is one of the most important leadership skills you can develop.