Wider Lens with Dr. Kim Kimberling

What does success really look like—and who gets to define it?

In the final episode of this three-part conversation, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer to talk about the subtle ways we drift from our priorities without even realizing it. Together they unpack why saying "yes" to every good opportunity can cost us what matters most, how small daily habits shape the life we're building, and why true success isn't measured by titles or achievements but by living a life that's aligned with your values.

Whether you're feeling stuck, stretched too thin, or simply wondering if you're chasing the right things, this conversation will challenge you to slow down, evaluate what's most important, and take one intentional step toward the life God is calling you to live.

• Learn how "priority drift" quietly pulls you away from what matters most—and how to stop it.

• Why chasing alignment instead of success leads to greater freedom, purpose, and peace.

• Simple daily habits that create lasting change, both personally and professionally.

• Practical encouragement to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking the next right step.

Quotes from This Episode:

Tom Pfeiffer:

1. "Priority drift doesn't happen all at once. It's one extra meeting, one extra commitment, one extra 'yes.'"

2. "Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else."

3. "Success is what other people can see. Alignment is when the life you're living matches the values you say you have."

4. "The best decision I ever made was to stop chasing success and start chasing alignment."

5. "Sports are supposed to be fun. You're not going to war."

6. "So many of the things we worry about are first-world problems."

7. "Don't quit your job tomorrow. Start stacking proof one day at a time."

8. "Your habits become discipline, and discipline will always outlast motivation."

9. "Everyone has the same 24 hours. It's not about having time—it's about the choices you make."

10. "Just do the thing. Take the first step and let tomorrow build on today."

Dr. Kim Kimberling:

1. "Culture doesn't pull us away from what matters overnight—it happens one small drift at a time."

2. "When we say yes to too many good things, we often end up saying no to the people who matter most."

3. "The hardest part of protecting your priorities is learning to say no."

4. "You don't always realize you're drifting until you look up and wonder how you got so far from what matters."

5. "Don't get impatient. Big life changes are built one step at a time."

6. "Working out changes far more than your body—it changes your confidence and your mindset."

7. "One day stacked on another becomes a habit, and habits shape the life you live."

8. "Ask yourself: Are you drifting? And if you are, where is that drift taking you?"

9. "The best opportunities aren't always the ones that align with your priorities."

10. "You have to define success for yourself instead of letting culture define it for you."

1. Where have you noticed "priority drift" in your own life, and what's one step you can take to realign with what matters most?

2. How do you currently define success? Has that definition changed over the years?

3. What's one habit or daily choice that could help you become more intentional with your time, relationships, or calling?

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't a lack of opportunity, but fear?

In part two of Dr. Kim's conversation with Tom Pfeiffer, they explore what it takes to step into the life God is calling you to live. Tom shares how walking away from a successful legal career taught him that waiting for certainty often keeps us from taking the very steps that lead to growth.

Together, they discuss the cost of inaction, learning to let go of other people's opinions, changing the trajectory of your family legacy, and why being fully present with your spouse and children is one of the greatest investments you'll ever make.

Whether you're facing a career decision, feeling stuck, or simply wanting to live with greater purpose, this conversation will encourage you to stop waiting for the "perfect time" and start making intentional choices today.

Episode Highlights:

Stop waiting for certainty—action creates clarity.

Don't let other people's opinions dictate your future.

Choose presence with your family over the pursuit of success.

Build a legacy you'll be proud to look back on.

Quotes from this Conversation:

Tom Pfeiffer

• "We always think you need certainty before action. But I think it's the opposite."

• "We never really contemplate the cost of inaction. What did I miss by not doing that?"

• "Far too often, you'll look back when you're 60, 70, or 80 years old and say, 'Man, I wish I did that.'"

• "I honestly stopped caring what people think. It's a daily practice, but it's life-changing."

• "Write down the names of the people whose opinions actually matter to you. I'll bet you're done in 30 seconds."

• "The majority of people who have an opinion about what you're doing are usually just afraid to do it themselves."

• "I was more afraid of staying where I was and not being a present dad than I was of making the change."

• "It's not going to say 'JD' or 'Doctor' on your tombstone. It's going to say father, husband, son. Those are the things that matter."

• "There are moments in life that are the last time you'll ever do something—and most of the time, you don't even know it."

• "Sports are a vehicle for life. You have to be okay with adversity because that's where growth happens."

• "You have to be okay with delayed gratification. You're going to crawl, then walk, then jog, then run."

• "The version of you that you present every day is the driving factor behind the life you build."

Dr. Kim Kimberling

• "There's such a profound satisfaction that comes from being the person who changes your family lineage."

• "Most people don't think about us nearly as much as we think they do."

• "If they're not on your list, don't give their opinion power over your life."

• "Your spouse and your kids will know if you're not being who God created you to be."

• "What's really important is the dash between the dates. What did you do with your time?"

• "You can always find time for your family if you decide they're a priority."

• "Your kids won't remember the career you built. They'll remember that you were there."

• "If you're becoming the person God created you to be, everyone around you benefits."

Time to Talk About it:

1. Where in your life are you waiting for certainty before taking a step of faith, and what might happen if you took action instead?
2. Whose opinions have the biggest influence on your decisions, and are those the people whose voices should matter most?
3. If your spouse or children described what you prioritize with your time, what would they say—and does that align with the legacy you want to leave?

What does it mean to build a life that truly matters? In this episode of The Wider Lens, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer, former Air Force JAG officer, attorney, coach, trainer, husband, and dad, to talk about the experiences and values that shaped him. From growing up in a blue-collar family on Long Island to playing college football, serving in the military, and eventually leaving a successful legal career to pursue a different calling, Tom shares lessons on work ethic, purpose, fatherhood, and taking risks.

Along the way, they discuss the importance of showing up for your kids, the life lessons sports can teach, and why success on paper isn't always the same as fulfillment. This conversation will challenge you to think about the legacy you're building and the choices that matter most.

Episode Highlights:

• Why the best lessons in life often happen outside the classroom

• The impact of a father who always showed up

• How to pursue purpose over prestige and redefine success

Tune in for an honest conversation about work, family, calling, and what it means to live with intention.

Quotes from Tom Pfeifer:

"For me, it was a non-negotiable starting point. I'm just going to be there."

"Now I have margin in my life. On a Tuesday afternoon, I can block my calendar and just hang out with my kids."

"Everything you do has a cost."

"Every yes, every extra commitment, every extra dinner—that's time you're taking away from something else."

"Most kids just want somebody to say, 'I'm proud of you.'"

At what cost do you continue doing something that looks successful on paper but leaves a void inside?"

"When things are scarce in your life, you become hyper-focused on getting them."

"Your kids aren't going to remember how hard you worked. They're going to remember that you were there."

Time to Talk About it:

1. What is one area of your life where you're pursuing success, and what might it be costing you in your relationships, faith, or personal well-being?

2. When you think about the people who impacted you most growing up, what did they do that made you feel valued—and how can you offer that same gift to others today?

3. If your children, family, or closest friends described the legacy you're building right now, what would they say matters most to you? Is that the legacy you want to leave?

My good friend Matt Cline is here with me today to talk through the cultural epidemic of pornography. We are diving into the deeper roots behind sexual sin, temptation, and transformation. Matt discusses why behavior modification alone isn't enough, how our view of sex shapes the way we lead and relate to others, and why isolation keeps people stuck. Explore how true freedom comes through renewing the mind, pursuing Christlikeness, and allowing God to transform us from the inside out.

Episode Highlights:

• Surface-level behavior change isn't enough—you have to deal with the root issue.

• The way we follow Christ should shape the way we think about sex and intimacy.

• Hidden sexual sin doesn't stay isolated—it affects every relationship around us.

• Sexual immorality pulls us toward selfishness instead of self-giving love.

• God invites you to live in His grace and the freedom He offers.

Quotes from this Conversation:

Matt:

• Love, living in love and engaging in sexual immorality cannot happen at the same time.

• The purpose for our sexual desire is a training ground for Christlikeness. For dying to self and stewarding our urges.

• Accountability should not be focused simply on not sinning.

• Temptation is simply an opportunity for transformation.

• I tried to quit the sin for so long without ever learning how to renew my mind. Never learning how to think like Jesus in the sexual area of my life.

• The amount of perversion in our faces all the time, lends to us justifying "lesser sins."

• You can get rid of the behavior but what about the worldview or the view on sex that has been established in you that you have not yet had renewed?

Dr. Kim:

• Isolation does nothing good for us at all. Isolation when we're dealing with something negative should not be something that we do.

• We give people hope because not in us and not our ministries, but in this God who created us.

• I want to know Nancy loves me even with everything out on the table.

Time to Talk About It:

1. Are there areas in my life where I've focused more on behavior management than true heart transformation?

2. How has my worldview around sex, intimacy, or temptation been shaped more by culture than by Christ?

3. When I struggle, do I tend to isolate myself or invite trusted people into honesty, accountability, and healing?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Check out what Matt is doing at Restored Ministries

• If your marriage is struggling with betrayal, check out our course: Marriage Undefiled

In this episode, Dr. Kim talks with author and pastor Heath Hardesty about his new book, All Things Together. Heath shares how his time apprenticing under his earthly father became a living picture of what it means to be an apprentice of our Heavenly Father. They discuss what it looks like to live as image bearers in a fragmented world, why discipleship is more than "extra credit," and how God redeems, not erases, our humanity. Together, they unpack how to see with wonder again, order our imagination around Christ, and live a whole, beautiful life that reflects Him.

Episode Takeaways:

• Wholeness comes from staying connected, not from doing more.
• Slowing down is often the most spiritual thing we can do.
• Our focus and intention shape the way we experience life and who we become.
• Life feels scattered because we're often living disconnected from what truly grounds us.
• Our actions are connected to our faith.
• We ache and long for relationship with our Creator. He is a good Father.

Quotes from this Episode:

How we imagine the world really affects how we inhabit it.

Technology can connect, but the digital world often pulls us apart—scattering our presence across time and place until we forget what it means to truly be together.

When we take things out of context and mix the sacred with the trivial, our souls are shaped by confusion and chaos.

God weaves beauty from even the most ordinary or unwanted chapters of our stories—if we let Him, nothing is wasted.

We are made to be apprentices of the Master—union, abiding, obeying, and becoming like Him is the heart of how we truly change.

Faith isn't just belief in our heads—it's trust that spills out through our hands, our words, our feet, our relationships. It's embodied and lived.

Serving others, especially those closest to us, by following Christ's example, transforms both them and us. True love is found in humble service.

Faith has everything to do with our hands, our feet, our mouth, and our relationships. It's an embodied thing.

Reflect on This:

1. Where does life feel most rushed right now? How can you invite Jesus into this space instead of just trying harder?
2. What small daily habit or rhythm is shaping you the most right now, for better or for worse?
3. If following Jesus is more about apprenticeship than perfection, what is one simple practice you could lean into this week to stay more connected to Him?

Mentioned in this Episode:

Never miss a Wider Lens episode. Listen here.

Heath Hardesty is on Instagram.

Purchase All Things Together: How Apprenticeship to Jesus Is the Way of Flourishing in a Fragmented World by Heath Hardesty

Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

Are you caught in a maze and don't even know it? Today, Dr. Kim is joined by Ryan Wekenman to talk about the maze of self-centeredness we all have to navigate. When we begin living for applause, appreciation, or validation, we can easily drift out of sync with the Lord and into a life focused on serving ourselves—the exact opposite of what God calls us to. In this powerful conversation, Ryan and Dr. Kim challenge us to recognize the pull toward self-focus and invite us to shift our attention back where it belongs: fully on Jesus. We pray this episode encourages you to take the focus off yourself and go all in on Him.

Episode Takeaways:

• Self-centeredness is a spiritual issue that affects everyone.

• Control is often at the root of self-centeredness.

• We need to be intentional about serving others.

• Self-improvement should not come at the expense of God-centered living.

• The Lord is our shepherd; we lack nothing when we trust Him.

• Finding freedom comes from letting go of the need for validation.

Quotes from this Episode:

"If Satan can't get you to not worship, he'll try to get you to make worship about you."

"You don't need self-help. First and foremost, you need God's help."

"The problem isn't self-help. The problem is thinking that self-help will save."

"The way towards abundant life is serving and it's humbling yourself."

"There's so much freedom on the other side of letting that performer in you die."

"I think we have to be intentional about that because it's easy to absorb the culture and let that just become part of, well, everybody's doing it."- Dr. Kim

"I think one thing that God has taught me and I still struggle with at times is learning to celebrate others." - Dr. Kim

"I think what God is teaching me now, as old as I am, is that just do what I want you to do." - Dr. Kim

Time to Reflect:

Where in my life am I most tempted to seek applause, appreciation, or validation instead of simply seeking the Lord?

How might my focus on myself be affecting the way I love and serve my spouse and the people around me?

What is one practical way I can shift my focus from myself to Jesus in my daily decisions and interactions this week?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Purchase your own copy of Free Me From Me

• Website: ryanwekenman.com; redrocksaustin.com

• Podcast: Afterthoughts Podcast; Stories in Scripture

• Instagram: instagram.com/ryanwekenman

• YouTube: YouTube.com/@ryanwekenman

In a world full of distractions and pressure to perform, how do we keep our identity rooted in Christ instead of our work?

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with long time friend, Terry Storch, to talk about leadership, stewardship, and the often unseen cost of carrying responsibility that affects others. From navigating pressure and seasons of life to holding the tension between efficiency and presence, this discussion explores where leadership ends and identity begins.

Be encouraged to establish healthy rhythms, protect what's sacred, and remain centered on Christ—remembering that the work will come and go, expectations will shift, and seasons will change, but all glory belongs to Him.

Episode Takeaways:

The "work" of life was never meant to give you value. Only our Creator can do that.

Accomplishments and achievements are driven by healthy rhythms.

The technology advancements create unique pressures and require adaptability.

Finding centeredness in a distracted world is essential for faith.

Quotes from this Episode:

"Life is a season of wilderness after wilderness because we're not in the garden yet."

"I want to be known for the small little things that I did for those people right around me."

"The need for centeredness, the need for Jesus, is more important now than ever."

"Technology, for the most part, is neutral, like money. It can be used for really good things and really bad things."

"The real story is the commitment to surrender and release, knowing it's not mine.

Take a Wider Look:

1. How do I define my identity beyond my accomplishments, and what steps can I take to focus more on who I am becoming?

2. In what ways might I be allowing the distractions of the world to pull me away from my core values or spiritual focus?

3. How can I separate my calling from my vocation, and what changes might I need to make to align my work with my deeper purpose?

You all loved this conversation in the fall so we are kicking off our Wider Lens 2026 with a rerelease of this awesome interview. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!

Episode Highlights:

Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection.

If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth.

Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be.

Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next.

Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.

Strong core beliefs help us combat the lies of society and satan.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers

We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers

Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers

It may not make sense right then, but later it'll make sense. -Jerry Flowers

I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim

We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers

If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers

What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

1. Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you've grown comfortable with.
2. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next?
3. Identify an area of your life you haven't fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net

• Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv

• Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv

• YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined

• TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr

• Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

This is such an incredible conversation to wrap up our Fridays in the Fall, Wider Lens series. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!

Episode Highlights:

Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection.

If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth.

Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be.

Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next.

Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.

Strong core beliefs help us combat the lies of society and satan.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers

We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers

Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers

It may not make sense right then, but later it'll make sense. -Jerry Flowers

I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim

We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers

If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers

What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

1. Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you've grown comfortable with.
2. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next?
3. Identify an area of your life you haven't fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net

• Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv

• Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv

• YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined

• TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr

• Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

Today we're diving into Kent's brand-new book, Don't Bench Yourself. In it, Kent challenges readers to take an honest look at their lives, at the opportunities they might be missing, the risks they're avoiding, and the goals left sitting on the table. His message is clear: it's time to get off the bench and stay in the game. Whether it's in your career, your marriage, or your parenting journey, you can't afford to sit on the sidelines. This book will inspire you to move past fear, let go of shame, and trust God's perfect timing as you keep pressing forward.

Episode Highlights:

What is slow quitting?

Fear paralyzes us from stepping into deeper connections.

Shame kicks in when we try and fail and then we believe the lie that it'll never get better than this.

Criticism can inhibit someone's desire to continue pressing forward.

Motivation can decrease when we don't see quick results.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

For some of us, what we need to see with our eyes of faith, is a life lived and ended in faith.

You pull yourself out of the game because you think you no longer qualify to play.

We get impatient with God so we quit. We draw ourselves out of the game.

Fear is causing you to be stuck.

One of the fastest ways out of a problem is clearly labeling the problem.

It's so much easier to point the finger, but yet it doesn't resolve anything.

We have a tendency as guys, when things are going well, we have a tendency to withdraw.

A big temptation for me is to spend time and energy where there is a really clear report card, a really clear measurable level of success.

We so desperately want to measure growth and success. However, some of the best things in life can't be measured.

We have a tendency to go where we are being affirmed and people think we're great.

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your husband or wife to be better?

In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your children to be better?

Name one part of your life where failure kept you from trying again.

Now that you've named it- go try again!

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Manhood Journey on Instagram

• Check out his ministry: Manhood Journey

• Listen to his podcast

• Buy Don't Bench Yourself

• Dr. Kim is on Substack! Sign up HERE.