How I Ally

Will Having Children Ruin Your Marriage?

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In this candid and eye-opening episode of How I Ally, Lucinda Koza is joined by relationship coach and therapist Rich Heller, founder of Rich in Relationship. With decades of experience—and deep personal insight—Rich helps parents navigate high-conflict relationships, rekindle emotional connection, and restore safety within their homes.

Together, they explore:

  • Why new parenthood often becomes a flashpoint for relational stress
  • How childhood wounds resurface in marriage—and what to do about it
  • The evolution of modern masculinity and the need for emotional fluency
  • Practical tools for fighting fair and building connection (hello, “I” statements!)
  • The deep and often unspoken fear women carry in emotionally unsafe homes
  • What real emotional safety feels like—and why it’s essential for healthy parenting

    • This conversation is raw, validating, and essential listening for any couple trying to stay connected in the midst of sleep deprivation, identity shifts, and unhealed emotional baggage.

    Favorite quote:

    “We pick our partners because we feel safe enough to unpack our stuff around each other. But the problem is—we didn’t give each other that heads up.” – Rich Heller

    Connect with Rich:

    Website: www.richinrelationship.com

    Instagram: @richinrelationship

    Podcast: Rich in Relationship – Available on all major platforms

    Resources mentioned:

    • “I” statements framework
    • The concept of emotional fluency in relationships
    • Postpartum rage, hormone detox, and parenting dynamics

      • ✨ If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review or share it with someone in the early stages of parenting or partnership. You’re not alone—and you deserve safety and support.

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      How I AllyBy Lucinda Koza
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