If you’d rather watch than read, the video is there for you.

This is the written version of the same talk.

She Really, Really Saw How Scared She Was

She really, really saw how scared she was — in a way she hadn’t seen before.

There is that little girl inside of her that is absolutely terrified.

And then… seeing how deeply okay that is.

It’s in the okayness of being deeply terrified that you have this space to hold it.

To be held.

What I See Under My Own Dilemmas

When I see what the real issue is in all of my human dilemma, it’s that little boy inside of me that is scared.

* Scared of not being loved

* Scared of not being enough

* Scared of being abandoned

But then what I also see is that there is really nowhere in the world for me to go.

So if that’s the case… where else can I go?

That is the invitation.

The Moment I Remember: I’m Just Scared

Often, in the normalcy of my human life — that at times appears chaotic — I forget that that’s what’s really going on.

I’m just scared.

Do you notice this?

When you get scared, you really start believing your stories.

You start thinking it’s about this person.

Or it’s about that person.

Or it’s about this circumstance.

See what it is.

We’re scared.

We’re scared of the same thing — the only thing we’re always scared of.

And for me, that’s the doorway.

To be honest about that.

To ask myself: okay, I’m anxious. What’s really going on here?

I don’t know if it does the same for you, but it just invites a softness.

A stillness.

Because then I see it’s not the world.

It’s not other people.

It’s not where I’m at in my work.

It’s not my list of things to do.

I’m just scared.

Flipping It Around

You know what it’s also like to flip it around?

It’s like my partner.

When she has her woman freak out, it’s so obvious that she’s just scared.

And it becomes the most adorable thing.

Because what is she scared of?

She’s scared that she’s not loved.

And then to hold a space that knows that that’s what the issue is… there’s a healing presence in that.

And so I have to do that with myself.

See the real issue.

Talk About Miracles

Somehow, some way, I’m 44 years old and I’m still here.

All right — talk about miracles.

That’s part of what scares me so much about the future.

I don’t even know how I made it this far.

How am I going to do the rest?

But I see that I haven’t done it up till this part.

I’ve just been taken care of.

And pretty much all of it hasn’t gone how I thought it was going to go.

So why do I all of a sudden think it’s going to start going how I think it’s going to go?

We All Know

But there is something that I do know in the midst of all of that.

And my goodness… we all know it.

Sometimes we don’t have words for it.

Sometimes we don’t remember it.

But we know it.

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