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Wit and wisdom, November 1-4 2024

@cjhancock
People say I have an elevendency to exaggerate.
@mustard99
Same here, I go to Elevenerife on holiday.

@at a prayer meeting for Trump
“But I want you to know and we want you to know we believe you are a vessel. You are a chosen vessel”
@jemmaforte
The Titanic?

@TollytB
Everyone should try blindfold archery.
Go on, give it a go, you don't know what you're missing.

@cynicalboomer
Reporting on a discussion on Fox News over wives deceiving their husbands about how they voted
jesse: if i found out my wife secretly voted for harris, "that's the same thing as having an affair... that violates the sanctity of our marriage... that would be D Day"

 @lesmartin7
Why do so many people get simple sayings wrong? 
Answers on a coastguard please...

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