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The pronouns you use on a first date recounting stories of your past love lives exposes your emotional attachment style for all to see.  Psychologists at the University of California-Riverside have decoded the formula after aggregating 1400 observations derived from seven studies.

The repeated use of the “I’ or “me” words reveals an anxiously avoidant personality type that only cautiously, if at all, enters into lasting and healthy romantic attachments.  Such persons only bond with great difficulty

Those whose conversations are peppered with “we” tend to be more open to relationship building.  Their psychologic outlook in general appears healthier.

So the next time you are Tinderizing your love life or talking up a new potential life-partner, pay attention to their and your pronoun use.  Re-define “we” as thumbs up right swipe and “I” and “me” as a thumbs down left swipe!

William L. Dunlop, Alexander Karan, Dulce Wilkinson, Nicole Harake. Love in the First Degree: Individual Differences in First-Person Pronoun Use and Adult Romantic Attachment Styles. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2019; 194855061984745 DOI: 10.1177/1948550619847455

#pronouns #relationships #lovelife #we #I