In which we visit the EMI archive, wonder whether Tony Wilson signed the Joy Division contract in his own blood, rejoice in Dorothy Parker, investigate James Brown's will, celebrate Aston "Family Man" Barrett's 52 children and reboot classic tales of paternity suits - eg who's Kid Rock's Dad, is Stan Laurel the father of Clint Eastwood, is Rex Harrison the offspring of George V and why does Brian Jones have three sons called Julian?

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