SCRIPTURE - Ephesians 4:29-32

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

We live in a crass society. Politicians don’t simply debate issues, but go out of their way to belittle and slander their opponents. Our world is divided on many things: faith, politics, lifestyles and any number of issues, and that division often becomes angry words that hurt. Profanity, crass humor, slanderous statements and anger are all too common. Those who claim to be Christ followers are not exempt. Think of those who gossip, speak angrily in congregational meetings or worse, on social media. 

I suspect it was not much different in Paul’s time, which is why he penned these words to the Ephesians. His basic principle is this: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Think about this: there is a great deal of discourse and conversation today that tears others down, whether in person or to others about another. Jesus has a different standard: what we say should benefit those who listen and build others up according to their needs. These are words that heal, rather than hurt.  

Why should we care? Because words that are designed to hurt or tear others down grieve the Holy Spirit who is resident in our hearts. God’s heart is grieved and hurt when our words hurt, rather than heal. Sometimes we need to say things that are hard to hear, but our intention and delivery must always be to benefit those who we are speaking to. 

Where do our harsh words come from? They come from inside our hearts, says Paul: bitterness, rage, slander and every form of malice. These come from perceived or real slights from those around us, and in our anger we can easily lash out in bitterness or malice. The antidote to those attitudes, says Paul, is to “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness and compassion make it possible for us to resist lashing out in anger.

As you walk through your day today, be conscious of your thoughts and words regarding others. Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you to use words that heal rather than words that hurt. Where we have anger in our hearts, rather than harboring bitterness, forgive those who hurt you and have compassion for them.

Father, there have been times when my words hurt, rather than healed. More than I like to admit. I have also lashed out in anger and bitterness. Forgive me. Help me to eliminate unwholesome words from my vocabulary and seek to build others up according to their needs and situation. And give me Your compassion for those I interact with so that my words may be words that heal. Amen.