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The hardest grief stories aren’t always the ones we expect, sometimes they’re the ones we learn late. I’m joined by Lisa Sugarman, author, nationally syndicated columnist, crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, and a three-time survivor of suicide loss, for an honest conversation about what happens when the “official” version of a loved one’s death turns out not to be true. Lisa shares how she grew up believing her father died of a heart attack, then discovered decades later that he died by suicide, a truth that reshaped her grief, her identity, and her purpose as a mental health advocate. 

We dig into why telling our stories can be both cathartic and lifesaving, and why suicide loss grief often carries extra weight: the relentless why, the what if loop, guilt, and the stigma that keeps families quiet. We also talk about language and dignity, including why many advocates recommend moving away from the phrase committed suicide and choosing terms like died by suicide. Words don’t just describe what happened, they shape how survivors heal and whether people feel safe asking for help. 

Finally, we get practical. Lisa explains what to do if you think someone is suicidal, how to ask directly without fear, how 988 works (including third-party calls), and why crisis lines aren’t only for suicidal moments. If you’re a caregiver navigating dementia, burnout, or isolation, you’ll hear a clear message: your crisis counts, and support is allowed. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the one takeaway you want more people to understand about grief and mental health.

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