This was another "friend" episode, where I talked to Todd, a friend I have known since middle school. Todd's a dad, a husband, an assistant principal, and someone who believes working hard is the most important value. I have to be honest, even having known Todd for over 30 years it wouldn't have been the first thing I would have guessed for his value, but as he explained it, it made a lot of sense to me. He is someone who was fortunate to be instilled with the value of work ethic at a young age and had an environment that nurtured and supported it throughout his life. So from Todd's perspective it makes perfect sense that it would be his most important value. He's lived his life believing that if you work hard for something you want, you will figure out a way to get it and that is the path to happiness (except when he got cut from the 7th grade basketball team, he is still pretty sour about that). He applies this logic to his career, his health, his parenting, even his social life-- and thus far it has proved effective for him.

What got interesting in this conversation though was pondering if that is a universal recipe for a happy life or if Todd just got lucky? I mean clearly luck always plays a role and in Todd's case he had a lot of things working in his favor. But as every person does, he still faced challenges and adversity in life. From this conversation it would seem Todd believes that with his work ethic, it was a forgone conclusion that he would find a way to overcome them and thrive. There is a part of me that struggles deeply with that concept. It seems too simple, too binary. I am someone who questions everything and needs to know at a very foundational level if the thing I am doing makes sense. Todd is much more willing to ride the wave of success he has had in his life; and if it ain't broke, don't fix it. 

But how would you know if was broke? We talked a lot about this, trying to understand his life philosophy and how much risk there might be in it. I struggled to articulate it during the episode, but what it came down to for me was: if having a deep rooted understanding of what "success" or a "good life" means to you is a prerequisite to being truly happy or if you could be malleable and adopt whatever is generally considered the "right way to live" and as long as you work really hard you will achieve it and be happy. Said another way, can we choose what things will make us happy, then if we put in the work to get them, it is almost a guarantee we will be happy? Or does it require deep reflective thinking, that has to be pressure tested by adversity, to find true happiness? I don't know the answer, but I really appreciate Todd bringing a new perspective that made me ask the question.