After a week off of work, we're looking for great excuses to not go back on Monday. How many times can you be sick during the school year without having people say they're worried about you? How many fake sneezes can you feign before you get a hernia?

If you're guilty of overusing illness as an excuse, we have some nifty alternatives to share with you. We guarantee that your boss will tell you to stay home...and not bother coming back.