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Working Memory vs Attention: Why "Not Listening" Looks the Same
Working Memory vs. Attention: Why "Not Listening" Looks the Same
When your child forgets directions, drifts off halfway through a task, or looks like they're "not listening," it can be hard to tell what's really going on. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down the difference between working memory and attention in plain language, explains why they look so similar in real life, and shows why test scores never tell the whole story. You'll leave with simple ways to tell whether your child didn't take the information in, couldn't hold onto it, or is dealing with both, plus practical tools you can use at home and grounded language to bring to school.
In this episode you'll learn- Why a single score is never the whole story, and why testing should be used to support a child, not define them.
- The difference between attention and working memory using a parent-friendly framework: attention is the flashlight, working memory is the sticky note.
- Why kids who look "fine" at school or in testing can still fall apart at home, during homework, or in the after-school crash.
- How working memory struggles can look like not listening, not caring, or being careless when the real issue is that the brain lost the thread.
- Why not all attention struggles are ADHD, and why context, patterns, and real-life functioning matter.
- Simple supports that actually help, including the "say it back" check, a 3-step visual, a 5-minute start sprint, movement before demand, and First/Then language.
- A school-friendly script for talking about attention and working memory without sounding like you're writing a dissertation.
- Try the "say it back" check: "Tell me what you're going to do first."
- Put one 3-step visual somewhere your child actually needs it, like the backpack zone, bathroom, or homework spot.
- Use a 5-minute start sprint for one hard task instead of asking for the whole thing at once.
- Add one minute of movement before homework or another non-preferred task.
- Pick one routine and change the support before you change the expectation.
- Boredom Buster Guide — quick ideas for the "I'm boooored" spiral
- Big Feelings Decoder — turn "bad behavior" into brain language + next steps
- 50 AI Prompts for Tired Parents — done-for-you prompts for calmer routines, scripts, and school emails
- School Psych in Your Back Pocket: The School Testing Toolkit (K–12) — support for translating school systems, testing language, and what to ask for
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent
- Show notes + previous episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/
This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.
View all episodes
By Dr. Amy Patenaude, Ed.D., NCSPWorking Memory vs. Attention: Why "Not Listening" Looks the Same
When your child forgets directions, drifts off halfway through a task, or looks like they're "not listening," it can be hard to tell what's really going on. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down the difference between working memory and attention in plain language, explains why they look so similar in real life, and shows why test scores never tell the whole story. You'll leave with simple ways to tell whether your child didn't take the information in, couldn't hold onto it, or is dealing with both, plus practical tools you can use at home and grounded language to bring to school.
In this episode you'll learn- Why a single score is never the whole story, and why testing should be used to support a child, not define them.
- The difference between attention and working memory using a parent-friendly framework: attention is the flashlight, working memory is the sticky note.
- Why kids who look "fine" at school or in testing can still fall apart at home, during homework, or in the after-school crash.
- How working memory struggles can look like not listening, not caring, or being careless when the real issue is that the brain lost the thread.
- Why not all attention struggles are ADHD, and why context, patterns, and real-life functioning matter.
- Simple supports that actually help, including the "say it back" check, a 3-step visual, a 5-minute start sprint, movement before demand, and First/Then language.
- A school-friendly script for talking about attention and working memory without sounding like you're writing a dissertation.
- Try the "say it back" check: "Tell me what you're going to do first."
- Put one 3-step visual somewhere your child actually needs it, like the backpack zone, bathroom, or homework spot.
- Use a 5-minute start sprint for one hard task instead of asking for the whole thing at once.
- Add one minute of movement before homework or another non-preferred task.
- Pick one routine and change the support before you change the expectation.
- Boredom Buster Guide — quick ideas for the "I'm boooored" spiral
- Big Feelings Decoder — turn "bad behavior" into brain language + next steps
- 50 AI Prompts for Tired Parents — done-for-you prompts for calmer routines, scripts, and school emails
- School Psych in Your Back Pocket: The School Testing Toolkit (K–12) — support for translating school systems, testing language, and what to ask for
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent
- Show notes + previous episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/
This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.