Couples therapy can be some of the most rewarding work we do, but it can also be some of the most challenging. If you’ve ever found yourself sitting in the room thinking, am I helping or am I refereeing?, this episode is for you.

In this episode of Inside Social Work, I revisit a conversation originally recorded with Dr Bronwyn Milkins on the Mental Work Podcast, where we break down what it really looks like to work with couples without getting pulled into the crossfire.

We explore what actually happens in sessions, why structure matters, and how to navigate the emotional intensity that comes with two people bringing their pain, frustration, and hopes into the room.

Whether you’re new to couples work or trying to build more confidence, this conversation offers clear, practical guidance grounded in real clinical experience.

We explore:

• Why couples work can feel emotionally demanding
• How structure helps contain conflict
• What live conflict reveals about patterns
• How to stay steady without taking sides
• What to consider when separation is on the table

Resources:

• When should you refer an individual to couples therapy? Blog post by Marie.
• This Complex Life - Marie's podcast where she delves into the messiness of wellbeing and relationships.
• Books: Come Together by Emily Nagoski, Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel, Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman
• Interested in couples therapy training? Gottman Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy are common evidence-based approaches!

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