Ok, so, I’ll admit, maybe the gym wasn’t such a good idea. I really didn’t think it would end this badly or I wouldn’t have dragged you along. It’s just been so long since you’ve had any exercise, and ever since that warning you got from the doctor I’ve been a bit worried about your health.

We should have started a little lighter. It didn’t occur to me that you haven’t even walked further than the driveway for years now. I just didn’t think you were so out of shape. The cross trainer seemed like a nice way to ease you in but, well, you broke that. I sure hope they don’t say anything. I think one of the gym workers noticed that you were on it when it made that big ‘clunk’ noise, and…well, needless to say, I was a little embarrassed when I had to help you off it.

We should have called it there and gone home, but that treadmill said it could take your weight. Or at least, it said maximum 360 pounds. You haven’t gone over that have you? I don’t remember when we last weighed you, now that I think about it. I think you’d have been ok if you just hadn’t twisted your ankle. Once you lost your balance and leaned on the rail, that was it. You were going over and taking out that rail too. I’ve never seen gym equipment bend like that. I think you put that treadmill out of action for good. The thud you made when you hit the floor made my heart thud in my chest, I was so worried. You shook the floor so hard that I heard the stack of weights clinking across the room. It’s a good job those three bodybuilders were around to help you up. I know you were a bit dazed to hear it, but when I thanked them one of he joked that he lifts heavy weights in there all the time. He made me laugh. It was a crazy contrast, all that muscle and all your…um, lovely soft fluff. I think you‘re almost as big as the three of them combined.

If it makes you feel any better, we both got a crazy workout getting back out to the car, let alone to the emergency room. Trying to support you with your bad ankle was exhausting. I almost lost my balance. I thought I was fit but I felt like I was walking on Jupiter with all your weight leaning on me.

The doctor thinks your ankle is going to be ok. She wasn’t sure from the X-ray just how bad it was. I didn’t know you could be too fat for an X-ray to be honest, but she said you have a lot of, um, what did she write, let me check, ‘adipose tissue and fluid build up’ obscuring the X-ray. She was more concerned about your heart rate. I don’t blame her. It’s been elevated, and you’ve been panting for an hour now.

We can go just as soon as she’s found an ankle support that actually fits you. Where do you want to go for dinner? Taco Bell? Wendy’s? We can get both if you like. You earned it today. From now on though, let’s keep the workouts in bed.

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