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Worse Than People Pleasing: How Shrinking Destroys Relationships | Christy Ash on Emotional Boundaries #96
“Shrinking may feel safer… but it’s slowly erasing you.”
In one of the most quietly transformative episodes of the No Street Lights Podcast, Christy Ash joins Aaron and Tim for an honest, eye-opening conversation about a behavior that hides in plain sight: shrinking: the unconscious act of minimizing yourself to keep the peace.
Author of the upcoming book The High Cost of Shrinking, Christy helps us unpack the deep emotional cost of self-silencing and why it’s often more damaging than people-pleasing. Together, we explore how chronic conflict avoidance chips away at identity, ruins relationships, and delays healing, and how to reclaim your space in the world.
With actionable guidance, hard-won wisdom, and grounded kindness, Christy lays out a pathway to healthier communication, stronger emotional boundaries, and the freedom that comes from finally being whole.
Whether you’re tired of saying “yes” when you mean “no,” or you’ve spent years playing small to stay safe, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Find in This Episode:
The hidden difference between shrinking and people-pleasing
How shrinking is rooted in conflict avoidance and identity loss
Why small, unresolved issues become emotional landmines
Practical tools for building emotional boundaries that protect, not isolate
Christy’s “blow-off valve” method for processing tension before it explodes
The importance of fair fighting, self-kindness, and parasympathetic grounding
Steps to heal the inner voice that tells you to stay small
What life looks like after you stop shrinking and start living fully
🎧 Listen Now:
➡️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NoStreetLightsPodcast
➡️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6LIaDquk2li94WvC6XaITR?si=8a208e65fa5f4424
➡️ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-street-lights-podcast-real-stories-on-mental-health/id1696321025
✨ Join the NSLP Community:
➡️ Patreon (Free & Paid Tiers): https://www.patreon.com/NoStreetLights
➡️ Discord: https://discord.gg/PdYNqXgn
➡️ BetterHelp – Get 10% Off: https://betterhelp.com/nslp
📩 Want to share your story or connect with us?
Email: [email protected]
🎵 Music by Hyland Markle – Follow on Instagram: @hylandmarkle
#NoStreetLightsPodcast #MentalHealthMatters #TheHighCostOfShrinking #EmotionalBoundaries #StopShrinking #ConflictAvoidance #PeoplePleasingRecovery #FairFighting #ChristyAsh #TimBrunicardi #AaronAsh #TherapyConversations #PersonalGrowthJourney #YouAreNotBroken #BeYourOwnLight
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By Aaron Ash and Tim Brunicardi“Shrinking may feel safer… but it’s slowly erasing you.”
In one of the most quietly transformative episodes of the No Street Lights Podcast, Christy Ash joins Aaron and Tim for an honest, eye-opening conversation about a behavior that hides in plain sight: shrinking: the unconscious act of minimizing yourself to keep the peace.
Author of the upcoming book The High Cost of Shrinking, Christy helps us unpack the deep emotional cost of self-silencing and why it’s often more damaging than people-pleasing. Together, we explore how chronic conflict avoidance chips away at identity, ruins relationships, and delays healing, and how to reclaim your space in the world.
With actionable guidance, hard-won wisdom, and grounded kindness, Christy lays out a pathway to healthier communication, stronger emotional boundaries, and the freedom that comes from finally being whole.
Whether you’re tired of saying “yes” when you mean “no,” or you’ve spent years playing small to stay safe, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Find in This Episode:
The hidden difference between shrinking and people-pleasing
How shrinking is rooted in conflict avoidance and identity loss
Why small, unresolved issues become emotional landmines
Practical tools for building emotional boundaries that protect, not isolate
Christy’s “blow-off valve” method for processing tension before it explodes
The importance of fair fighting, self-kindness, and parasympathetic grounding
Steps to heal the inner voice that tells you to stay small
What life looks like after you stop shrinking and start living fully
🎧 Listen Now:
➡️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NoStreetLightsPodcast
➡️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6LIaDquk2li94WvC6XaITR?si=8a208e65fa5f4424
➡️ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-street-lights-podcast-real-stories-on-mental-health/id1696321025
✨ Join the NSLP Community:
➡️ Patreon (Free & Paid Tiers): https://www.patreon.com/NoStreetLights
➡️ Discord: https://discord.gg/PdYNqXgn
➡️ BetterHelp – Get 10% Off: https://betterhelp.com/nslp
📩 Want to share your story or connect with us?
Email: [email protected]
🎵 Music by Hyland Markle – Follow on Instagram: @hylandmarkle
#NoStreetLightsPodcast #MentalHealthMatters #TheHighCostOfShrinking #EmotionalBoundaries #StopShrinking #ConflictAvoidance #PeoplePleasingRecovery #FairFighting #ChristyAsh #TimBrunicardi #AaronAsh #TherapyConversations #PersonalGrowthJourney #YouAreNotBroken #BeYourOwnLight