Years ago in Tokyo, Matt read a book that hit him like water in the desert — Dr. Tasha Eurich’s Insight — and came away certain of two things: he wanted to actually know this person, and he had something to offer her too. He could have fired off the standard email. Great book, can we talk. Instead he sat down and wrote a proper long-form letter about what the book meant to him and why he thought they should meet, then assumed he’d never hear back. He did hear back. What she said, essentially, was that it was unlike almost anything she receives. That letter became a friendship that’s lasted years, survived a collaboration that didn’t work out, and opened doors he never asked it to open.

The point isn’t the doors. Matt’s argument is that American culture runs highly transactional — something he sees clearly after fourteen years living abroad — and that in an era of accelerating disruption, genuine non-transactional relationships are exactly what people are starving for. That matters most for anyone in transition: leave a big company after years of adapting to its culture and your own identity can be surprisingly hard to locate, which is precisely the gap a real feedback loop fills. He also makes a counterintuitive case for reaching out to people you assume are out of your league. It’s a bit like the old line about models never getting asked out because everyone assumes their dance card is full — prominence can be isolating. The only requirement is that you mean it. The weekend question: who have you neglected, who would you like to know, and what would it take?

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