Welcome to the pulpit, fellow heretics!
Welcome to the first episode of “The Sacrilegious Tarot Testimony”, where you can get your weekly dose of “Sacred Shitposts”. This week, we’re doing a double dose!
Check below for a summary of the tarot spreads we pulled in this first introductory episode, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Weekly Reading:
~Overall Interpretation~
Strap in, folks! This is going to be a bumpy ride… Think of it like a rollercoaster. It starts off fun and exciting, but sometimes it can get scary or even sketchy. (Please do yourself a favor and avoid those county fair rides!) It’s all about balancing the risks with the benefits. Take the good with the bad and learn from your mistakes - they’re what help you grow.
Top of the Deck: Queen of Joints
We kick off the week of September 21st-27th with confidence, compassion, and charisma. There is warmth, a readiness, and empowerment in the air around you. You may even be inspiring others to act in ways they never imagined they could. Let this energy fuel and propel you forward through the rest of the week! Sometimes a little bit of positivity and joy can spread like a wildfire, so use that to your advantage. When your own flame finally dims, someone else’s can light the way forward. This is about a team effort in the long run, independence in the short run.
13 - Matriarchy, life cycles, and maturity.
The Empress (III) - Around Monday and Tuesday, this is following up on the feminine energy that represents creation. “Fertility” is often associated with this card, indicating good news in terms of family or pregnancy, but also on the home front in and in finances. This is a very blessed way to start the week, ride that wave of the divine feminine! When it comes to leadership and career paths, this suggests a calm and caring figure who doesn’t require the use of force to get her point across. Embody the spirit of this card by tapping into the peace and tranquility offered by her aura.
3 - Divinity, creation, and serendipity.
King of Buds (R) - The middle of the week (Wednesday) is unceremoniously disrupted with pure emotion with a lack of control. If you find yourself barely able to keep your head above water, you’re not alone. It’s hard to come up for air, so if you’re feeling isolated, now is the time to reach out for a helping hand. You’re not actually alone in the middle of the ocean, and there are people ready to help if you just let them know you need it. This may be a perfect time to rebalance the budget or to plan out for the long-term future. Saving in this economy? Yeah, right! But at least you can figure out a plan for your next steps.
14 - Assertiveness, disruption, and practicality.
The Hanged Man (XII) - Towards Thursday and Friday, there is a shift in the air that leads to a pause and surrender. Ride the waves of what’s to come, since trying to swim against the current will wear you out quickly. Routine might have you stepping back and taking a rest. In order for things to change, you first need to assess the situation. Observe and take note, and then you’ll know when it’s time to move. For now, enjoy this peaceful respite for what it is. Lately, these moments have been few and far between, so take advantage of it.
12 - Independence, knowledge, and stillness.
Bottom of the Deck: Seven of Joints
By the end of the week, there is a strong pull to hold your ground and fight for what’s right. You may be defending your honor or someone else’s, or perhaps it’s something on a broader scale. Remember that just because you technically have the high ground does not mean your feet can’t be swept out from under you. When it comes to protection, don’t hold back and be prepared to keep going when the going gets tough. This isn’t just a challenge; this is a battle between truth and lies, right and wrong, and will lead to something greater than you could imagine. After all, seven is a lucky number…
7 - Spirituality, truth, and progress.
Central Message: Queen of Pipes (R)
This week’s advice or harsh truths may be delivered sharply and without any care for your response. As a matter of fact, this week embodies the spirit of “fuck your feelings” and cuts straight to the point. Alternatively, there could be a motivation to deceive or manipulate. There is a twinge of isolation and fear of being ostracized, or perhaps a desire to remain ignorant met with an inability to do so when you’re bombarded with a 24/7 news cycle. Remember to avoid over-analyzing or critiquing everything you see. Unless someone has asked for your opinion, you probably don’t actually need to give it. It’s okay to keep certain thoughts to yourself.
13 - Death, eventuality, and transition.
~Number of the Week~
Queen (13), Empress (3), King (14), Hanged Man (12), Seven (7), Queen (13)
8 - Manifestation, destiny, and power.
Representing Strength (VIII) in the Major Arcana, this card suggests this week is building up your endurance (especially emotional and spiritual). You might find yourself experiencing a crisis of faith, feeling tested by the universe, or just like you’re an anchor for Murphy’s Law. All of this is leading to something good, if you stop fighting the process. Listen to your intuition instead of fighting against it for the sake of fitting in or skating by. You know that feeling when your gut is telling you something - and you know it’s almost always right. The universe rewards authenticity, so when in doubt, check in with your conscience.
Daily Reading:
Sunday - Knight of Joints
Right away, we’re greeted with some type of urgent news. This is a signal that anxiety and paranoia may be a bit high, so be cautious on reacting before learning all the facts. Excitement can lead to impulsivity, but opportunities make the risks worth it in the end. Overall, there’s a sense of joy, optimism, and motivation to act. Perhaps this is that burst of motivation you’ve been looking for to accomplish those important tasks lately?
Affirmation: “I will act with care, not in haste.”
12 - Communication, novelty, and adventure.
Monday - Nine of Bongs
It’s time to appreciate what you have so that you can be open to receiving whatever the universe has to offer today. You might find yourself indulging on something you normally wouldn’t, it’s okay to treat yourself! Acknowledge all the hard work you’ve already done. If you’ve been holding out hope, today might bring you the thing you’ve been longing for. Enjoy yourself and feel free to smile and laugh. This is a good energy!
Affirmation: “I am positive today will bring something joyful.”
9 - Completion, achievements, and fulfillment.
Tuesday - Nine of Joints (R)
Welcome to the Rapture! Or at least, that’s what some people experiencing religious psychosis are saying. Unfortunately, today is heavy in the paranoia, exhaustion, and feeling stuck in a perpetual state of defense. If you don’t acknowledge your limitations now, you’re going to crash and burn. It is not weakness to admit you are human - and stress is a killer, so don’t go rapturing yourself with a heart attack or stroke. Take time to let down your guard and open up to those you trust. Things are probably better than you think.
Affirmation: “I do not need permission to rest and recover.”
9 - Endings, resolution, and recognition.
Wednesday - King of Buds
We’ve made it to the middle of the week, and things are looking up! You might be blessed with some unexpected abundance or financial assistance. This is a good sign that competence is leading the charge, but whether that is you or someone in your circle, the important thing is to focus on your responsibilities. Stick to your list, and let others perform their duties the same, and you’ll be able to achieve success.
Affirmation: “I am in command of my life.”
14 - Leadership, opportunity, and authority.
Thursday - Five of Bongs (R)
As we start wrapping up the week, there is an acceptance or acknowledgement of grief. You may find more conflict or that your emotions are unpredictable today. Trust that by recognizing and identifying what you’re feeling, you can now address it and move on from it. You’re no longer stuck in the viscous cycle and have finally made progress. Take a deep breathe - you did it!
Affirmation: “When life gets heavy, I get stronger.”
5 - Disruption, freedom, and miscommunication.
Friday - King of Joints
We end the workweek and kickoff the weekend with some fire and spunk! You may feel inspired into action, even if you’re not sure what form that action will take. Sit down and enjoy the things that excite you. Every once in a while, we have to reignite our spark - whether that’s with something tried and true or something brand new. Be bold and take a risk today.
Affirmation: “If I can imagine it, I can create it.”
14 - Visions, structure, and expansion.
Saturday - Page of Joints (R)
Did you wake up late on the last day of the week? Rest your bones and sink into the couch; it’s a lazy day! While you might be faced with some unpleasant or disappointing news, this could also just be a sign that you’re not feeling particularly inspired this weekend. Whatever fire you had yesterday has fizzled out and burnt up your reserves. Take today to refill your tank, however that looks. It’s the weekend, there is likely nothing so important it can’t wait until Monday (if there is, why are you reading this?).
Affirmation: “I am allowed to rest and take it easy.”
11 - Intuition, delays, and clarity.
Weekly Reading:
~Overall Interpretation~
This week is leading to the final nails in the coffin of the patriarchy as the divine feminine takes charge, rising into power. There is a real and sudden shift as we move from the beginning to the end of the week, and it’s obvious with the inclusion of Judgement (XX) that something big is on the horizon. Humanity is greatly affected by the suffering of communities around us - even if they are separated by land or sea. We are empathetic and desire connection by nature, which encourages our survival.
Top of the Deck: King of Needles
We start off the week of September 28th - October 4th on Sunday with a sudden realization of understanding. Logic and intellect play the primary roles in today’s energy, so pay attention. Someone is connecting the dots and figuring out the bigger picture. Is that someone you? Or maybe you are watching others put the pieces together with fascination? Be open to learning, listening, and challenging your own perceptions of reality. Everything is about to change…
14 - Wisdom, intrigue, and skepticism.
Five of Potions - Around Monday and Tuesday, there is a heavy emphasis on what has been lost. You might be stuck in a loop, feeling “broken” or “unworthy”, but remind yourself that this kind of negative self-talk isn’t based in facts or reality. Acknowledge your feelings, don’t sink into despair because your luck has temporarily swung in the other direction. Eventually, it will come back around. Hang in there, let yourself be sad for a moment, recognize your pain for what it is. When it’s time, get back out to face the world.
5 - Regret, conflict, and mourning.
The Lovers (VI) (R) - In the middle of the week, around Wednesday, you’re facing a difficult decision and unsure how to move forward. Have you withdrawn or disconnected yourself from your support systems? Isolation is only prolonging the inevitable, so take a moment to ground yourself, shake off the anxiety, and take a step in the right direction. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying “yes” or “no”. If you’re feeling out of sync with a friend, partner, or coworker, it may be pointing to an unresolved issue. Check what’s making you uncomfortable - your senses are giving you clues, you just have to be aware enough to follow the trail.
6 - Responsibility, disharmony, and attraction.
The Hermit (IX) - Winding down the end of the week, around Thursday and Friday, there is a reprieve. A healthy dose of introspection and quiet solitude. This is the perfect energy for being alone with your thoughts in your favorite thinking spot, to simply connect with the world around you. Life can be simple, sometimes. Do your best to keep the light shining in the darkness, and you’ll always be able to find your path. Trust your inner voice to lead you where you need to be.
9 - Completion, understanding, and wisdom.
Bottom of the Deck: Judgement (XX)
We finish up the week on Saturday with a clear and likely unexpected wake-up call. You are officially being faced with the consequences of past actions, whether good or bad. Accountability is the name of the game, and by dodging the question or taking the road of spiritual bypassing, you’re not exactly learning a lesson, are you? If you feel that you’ve made progress on the journey of self-discovery and healing, congratulations! You may find yourself rewarded with a lovely surprise by the end of the week. Should you be nervous? I don’t know, you tell me… May the odds be ever in your favor, I guess?
20 - Choices, divinity, and call to action.
Central Message: Knight of Presents (R)
The advice of the week is to recognize when you’re experiencing burnout vs. laziness. One of them requires rest and kindness, the other… a kick in the ass! Time to channel your inner Red from That 70’s Show or Wayne from Letterkenny and focus on the tasks at hand this week. You don’t have to be perfectly productive 24/7, but you do have responsibilities that need to get done. So pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er! You know what you need to do, and it’s okay to ask for help if you’re feeling stuck. After all, more hands make less work. If all else fails, find someone to threaten you with a foot in your ass, see if that lights a fire.
12 - Consistency, routine, and impatience.
~Number of the Week~
King (14), Five (5), Lovers (6), Hermit (9), Judgement (20), Knight (12)
3 - Feminism, matriarchy, and fate.
Representing The Empress (III) in the Major Arcana, this week is very involved in feminine energy and creative power. With the rise of the matriarchy (which is inherently child-centric) we are ushering in the beginnings of a new world. Before this week is over, before the month of September is at an end, we will experience a change in the winds. Communication will allow us all to have access to the truth, which may be exposed through unique methods. Trust in the process and trust your gut. Of course, with all the emphasis on women, I want to make it clear… “It’s not all men” but somehow it’s always a man, which is why everyone chose the bear.
Daily Reading:
Sunday - The Lovers (VI)
Emphasized by the truth bomb of the King of Needles energy in the Weekly Tarot Reading, today involves a significant opportunity to do something different. The appearance of this card suggests you’re in a state of harmony, and that communication is likely to be clear and concise. Remember to discuss important decisions with the people who matter to you - especially when your decision will involve or affect them, too. This is all about finding a balance between what you want and what you need. Responsibilities don’t vanish with your desire for change.
Affirmation: “I choose to connect with others today.”
6 - Romance, excitement, and satisfaction.
Monday - Justice (XI)
A heavy day indeed, especially when paired with the Five of Potions in the Weekly Tarot Reading. Overall, this is a card that suggests the scales are returning to balance after a period of disparity. Trust the process, even if it begins in surprising ways. The truth may lead to pain or grief, but that is a good thing in the long run. With the acknowledgement and acceptance comes the ability to heal and recover. Closure often comes after Justice has been served. Finally, actions have real consequences. (On a personal note, this also happens to be my 31st birthday! Fittingly for this card, I’m a Libra!)
Affirmation: “I am ready to restore balance to my life.”
11 - Karma, fairness, and divinity.
Tuesday - Five of Needles
Interestingly enough, this is a perfect follow up that solidifies the message of the Five of Potions. The confirmation of the number Five followed by the slight adjustment in energy with the change in suit. This is all about betrayal, lack of tact, and even a hint of cruelty. You might be extra sharp with your words or actions today, especially if you’re feeling the fallout from yesterday’s Karmic balancing act. Remember, “winning” or “owning the libs” isn’t really effective if it sends everyone else packing, is it? It’s time to grow up and reflect on your own unmet needs that are causing you to lash out.
Affirmation: “I will pause and reflect before I take action.”
5 - Pettiness, battles, and tension.
Wednesday - The Tower (XVI)
Along with the uncomfortable choice implied by The Lovers (VI) (R) in the Weekly Reading, this is a collapse of the current systems. The goal is not to delete or erase but to enhance, enrich, and rebuild. Ultimately, the massive changes coming today were inevitable. It was only a matter of time before the rot and decay finally caved in - now is the perfect chance to clear away any doubts and roll up your sleeves. There’s work to be done! One way or another, you will pull through this and make it to the other side. That is, as long as you’re willing to at least try. Giving up before you even start is weaker than a watered down martini at Applebee’s.
Affirmation: “I trust in my ability to bounce back, better than ever before.”
16 - Spirituality, obstacles, and fortune.
Thursday - Eight of Potions (R)
Within your fear of moving on is the wise advice of The Hermit (IX) in the Weekly Reading. It is okay to walk away and get out of a situation that is no longer serving you. When you have the opportunity to reflect and connect with your soul, you’ll be able to see what it is you desire. This isn’t about what could have been but what can still be. It’s time to leave this path behind and move on where you can actually see a way forward. Trying in vain to clear an un-walkable path is only wearing you down and wasting your time.
Affirmation: “It is okay to be afraid of what comes next.”
8 - Infinity, purpose, and wisdom.
Friday - Queen of Potions
Finally, there is a moment of love and compassion through the residual influence of The Hermit (IX). This is a time of growth, maturity, and creativity. You are able to express your opinions, beliefs, and thoughts with the world in amazingly unique ways. Take advantage of your gifts and spread that nurturing energy, inspire others to be kind and gentle not only with the world but with themselves. Too many of us are stuck in ruminating cycles of negative self-talk, and it’s tough to remind ourselves to snap out of it. Be that Queen who reminds the rest of us how fabulous we are, too!
Affirmation: “I love the kindness found in the heart of humanity.”
13 - Feminine power, completion, and empowerment.
Saturday - The World (XXI) (R)
Wow, what a way to end, considering the Weekly Reading drops us off with Judgement (XX) at the bottom of the deck. Something big is happening that is affecting all of humanity, and probably life as we know it in general. I’m not sure exactly which god is pissed off at who, or why, but was it a man? It was probably a man… The World has turned upside down, so be prepared to face the truth. Some of us may laugh, some of us may cry, but one thing is for certain - nothing will ever be the same again. Are you ready for it?
Affirmation: “I am strong, fierce, and resilient.”
21 - Setbacks, uncertainty, and resistance.
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