A simple question—why no one calls Michael “Mike”—spirals into nicknames, bowl cuts, and Matt’s shocking new ponytail era.

Then things get weird.

We get:

• A 24-hour no-pee situation (yes, really)
• A sketchy airport ticket swap that somehow works out
• Childhood travel stories that feel… illegal?
• Steve’s parents’ legendary lifelong smoking habit
• And a deeply unhinged debate about whether not peeing is a skill

Also: Savannah Bananas tips, TSA horror stories, escape rooms, and the Sweet 16.

As always—zero expertise, maximum opinions.