Self-love in a God-honoring way is recognizing that you are loved by Jesus, and that the capability to love comes from Him, who is Love. We are called to love God and love our neighbors AS OURSELVES-which means you give what you already have- not giving in hopes of 'being loved', but loving because you know that you already are, and want to share that. You cannot love with hate, and you also cannot hate yourself into loving yourself. 

Recognizing that you are loved is not selfish, because it is recognizing that you have His Spirit within you which includes the Spirit of love- and allows you to know love and to give love (including to yourself). What we do is through Him, for Him, and to Him. 

Where Love is, so is His presence. Understand that you can see His love all around you- yourself included. 

The love you are showing yourself isn't coming from you- but comes from within, through Jesus, which allows it to be sustainable, never needing validation from an outside source. 

Where we lack, He overflows.