#230 You Ask, We Answer - 37

On the last Wednesday of every month, we answer wedding planning questions from our listeners. This month, the theme is FAMILY DRAMA. OH and 1 of our listeners wrote in with a Wedding Day retrospective too. These are always chock full of information that EVERYONE can benefit from. We have so much fun and we love our listeners for reaching out.

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Question #1 came in the form of a voicemail: (note: You can always call and leave us a message at 415-723-1625)

The wedding was originally slated for March 2021 with a guest list of about 170. They have since rescheduled to 2022, with an earlier elopement. Her fiancé misunderstood, believing that family was coming to the elopement. And now since they are including family, she is unsure how to avoid drama with family that does attend. She is not inviting her father, nor grandma, and doesn’t want them to find out.

Question #2:

I need advice on quite the dilemma...

We booked everything big before we got engaged (venue, florist, rentals, photographer, videographer, etc.) and told no one because we were waiting to be engaged first. In the meantime, his younger sister (she’s 25, he’s 39) was supposed to get married summer 2020 but ended up rescheduling a few times, eventually settling on November 2021 with hopes of an earlier date opening up. I warned my fiancé (bf at the time) that he should warn his family in some way in case the date that opened up for her would conflict with our date. He didn’t. Men! And lo and behold we got an email a couple months ago telling us her new date was August 23 in San Diego - ours is August 19 in Oregon. ...

We don’t want to move our wedding date but I also feel it’s important for his family to attend. At the same time, I’m so mad they won’t try to make it work that I really don’t want them there. Thanks to Covid, rescheduling and keeping our vendors is nearly impossible and our date was our 2 year anniversary so I’d be kind of sad to not get married that day. I don’t know what to do. With kids in the picture we aren’t willing to push the wedding out further.

Do you have any advice? I’m lost on the right thing to do for us and his family.

Question #3:

I'm sure you guys have gotten so many questions about pushing weddings back due to the pandemic, but I'm torn on pushing our wedding up a year. I would love your input on this!

Question #4:

This is my dilemma. In the 5 years since I have graduated college, I have diligently been saving for my future home. If my fiancé and I were to buy now, we'd be able to put about 10% down. I know that if I asked my parents to gift us the wedding funds to buy a house, they would be more than happy to give us the cash. This influx of cash would no doubt bring us to 20% on a home which obviously would lessen our monthly mortgage and we could avoid mortgage insurance.

I think I am hoping to hear that I should go all out on the wedding because it's our one big day. But I can't help feeling guilty about making the choice that feels financially irresponsible. Help??

Links We Referenced

zola.com/bigwedding Promo Code: SAVE50 for 50% off save the dates!

alpinerings.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING15

Get In Touch: 

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is…

Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez 

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics 

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at [email protected] or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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