Have you ever been sad on a trampoline? No, because it's impossible, even if your friend just murdered the family of squirrels you'd lovingly named and geneologized. Also, should we only ever deliver bad news while bouncing to and fro? Steve files his report. Also, local children are snorting Pixie Stix and Fun Dip to get their kicks. Jason has that hard-hitting look at rural American children and the stupid things they do out of boredom. Today I Learned Nothing is on the air!