I had the pleasure of being invited by Colette Molteni from Empathy Elevated to join her live stream on Substack.

We talked about mental models as practical tools, why technical people debug systems better than rooms, and what silent meditation retreats teach you about your brain.

Colette prepared an excellent written summary here:

What kept me thinking after our live session is how important the locus of control is. It’s one of the common denominators in Colette’s writing:

Stoics explain the concept of the dichotomy of control by dividing everything into two buckets:

* Things you have full control over: Focus on these

* Things you have no control over: Ignore these

It helps while dealing with life and work. Accept that you won’t be able to influence, change, or fight against things you have no control over.

We didn’t cover that during the session, but there is one more perspective on it. The third bucket. The third possibility is things that you can’t fully control, but you can influence.

The common saying, “People leave managers, not companies”, is wrong.

We’d love to keep the best people with us, but they have different motivations, and we don’t have full control over them. This is an example of the third bucket. If someone has been driven by a company mission but it shifted due to the business environment, we can’t help it. They will leave as soon as their values and the company’s values are misaligned. We can address their motivations and try to influence how they feel at work.

The third perspective of “having some control”, but not absolute, is a valuable addition to the conversation.

Enjoy the recording!— Michał

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