Description: From eco-hero to eco-zero in record time, Tesla owners now cruise in overpriced embarrassment mobiles while Musk tweets memes instead of Mars missions. Nothing screams "I make poor decisions" like spending $90k to lurk in Walmart parking lots with your extension cord while Bolivia's water glows radioactive green.

Spice Index: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Why so spicy? Because nothing triggers status-conscious consumers faster than telling them their expensive purchase is now uncool. Tesla went from counterculture revolution to conformist punchline without even changing its minimalist Swedish-prison dashboard. It's the ultimate cautionary tale of how quickly your identity-defining purchase becomes tomorrow's cringe - like watching your $100,000 investment transform into an electric mullet right before your eyes.