Thinking about the holidays and all you struggling mamas brought up a painful memory. I first divorced when my oldest was just under two. It was New Year’s Day when I moved out of our little family home and gave my little chubbins two homes instead of one.

But even though I knew that relationship needed to end due to the vast disparity in our values, I was not prepared for what it would do to my memories. Specifically how painful it would be to look at photographs. Later, when I came across a photo of that little toddler, his eyes fixed on a battery operated train set up to circle around the Christmas tree, it was suddenly as if my heart had been frozen in liquid nitrogen and shattered by an evil, hammer-wielding, white lab-coated scientist. The tears. The sense of failure. The- this was his last Christmas at home. He will never remember his family. Look at him by the tree. I positively seethed in the sodden and inflamed misery of it.

Why am I sharing this? It’s not to discourage you or shame you if you end up divorcing. In some cases, that’s the healthiest and wisest choice. And if that’s your needed path, you will weather that storm and see your way to brighter days.

But I also want you to know that it’s no small matter. I have no wish to see you spring from the leaky boat of your marriage, only to find yourself gasping for breath in the eel-infested waters of raw, post-separation single parenting, when all the boat needed was a few yards of Flex Tape®.

If you do divorce, photos of your former family will eventually become bizarre, like the alternate reality 1985A in Back to the Future 2 when Biff takes over the city. And that’s weird, right? But your former life feeling bizarre and surreal is better than everything feeling surreal right now in 2022 under your own roof.

If you are feeling lonely and disconnected, I promise it doesn’t have to stay that way. Most of what your brain has been telling you about it is probably neither helpful, nor true. You have the well-carved paths you’ve walked yourself into, that feel like the way things absolutely are, and the ruts are so deep, you can’t see a way to climb out. But when you do, the sights and the smells and the open air will blow your mind.

This will pass. The heartbreak will find a context, and you can wrap it in tissue paper and place it in a special drawer that WON’T be gaping open all the time and you’ll get to pick when you want to open it. You can begin to vibe with the way your story is emerging with curiosity, excitement and faith rather than wanting to rip out pages and cross out whole sections with your bleeding, siren red correcting pen.

I would love to sit down with you and give you a chance to air out your compressed feelings during this wintry month of celebration and reflection. When you book a call, as my gift to you, this month only, you’ll receive a highly personalized audio guided visualization track that’s generally 6-10 minutes long, accompanied by relaxing music, and takes your mind and your heart on a journey of highly targeted reflection and healing. These are normally only available to my clients inside my signature coaching program, and they unanimously love them. There will be no pressure to enroll, and the only thing you really have to lose is a bit of your bottled-up emotion.

Message me "HOLIDAY GIFT" on Instagram or TikTok to get started.

You deserve all the love and happiness you can hold.