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Many high performers mistake perfectionism for discipline or high standards, but it often implicitly harms execution, relationships, and peak performance. 

They frame perfectionism as a protective coping mechanism formed in childhood to avoid rejection and, underneath that, shame—creating an all-or-nothing belief that “flawless work equals safety.” Common signs include overpreparing, excessive double-checking, delaying decisions for more information, avoidance, and endless refinement, often paired with low self-esteem and hypervigilance. 

Liz explains how repeated criticism or humiliation wires the brain to associate mistakes with shame, reinforcing fear-based, avoidant behavior that slows speed, collapses risk tolerance, and makes satisfaction impossible. 

The proposed shift is separating identity from human approval, redefining failure as data, and choosing stewardship-based questions; a diagnostic test is whether decision delay is about strategy or avoiding criticism and rejection.

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