I speak from a position of privilege when I say that my parents genuinely do not care about the gender of the person I bring home. Growing up, I didn't feel the need to label and disclose my sexuality to those close to me. Heck, I didn't even feel the need to label and disclose my sexuality to myself. I didn't worry. I wasn't scared or insecure about being attracted to more than one gender... honestly, I thought that everyone was. So, before I get into this article, I want to acknowledge that not everyone has that privilege.

For some people, coming out and asking for acceptance ran the risk of exile. Some people have to sacrifice everything to be with the person they love.

This might seem really obvious - but they shouldn't have to.

It does strike me as a little strange that someone who's not involved in the relationship would genuinely become upset about someone else's sexual and romantic preferences. However, I understand that in the past, back before women had rights, someone's romantic partner was integral to the survival of the family, and a marriage that wouldn't produce children was almost entirely pointless. The customs changed, but the judgement remained.

It's something that's talked about all the time, but the world operates from the perspective of a middle class, heterosexual white man. Anyone who falls outside of that exact criteria is perceived according to how closely they align to it. Traits such as someone's gender, race, age, weight and sexuality impact how a person is treated, almost automatically.

You are not a suspicious-looking jar of mayonnaise in the back of a fridge. You don't need a label.

Consciously or not, we assume that if someone is feminine-presenting, they are less intelligent and less aggressive than someone masculine-presenting. We assume that someone with dark skin is less well-behaved than a white person. If someone is attracted to someone of the same gender, it is assumed that they are in some way weird or indecent as compared to that straight white man archetype. We understand the world through that comparison.

I think we can all agree that it's not accurate to make those assumptions, but that we've been brought up in a world that teaches us to make those mental associations, often without realising. These associations are all collateral damage from outdated ways of thinking.

Often when people talk about issues of race, people take the position of 'not seeing colour'. The same sort of thing can be said in terms of gender and sexuality. This way of thinking is undoubtedly well-intentioned, but it's not helpful. You can't dismantle those automatic associations without being educated about why they exist. Without that education factor, you might not let those assumptions impact your actions, but they're still there, even if you're ignoring them.

The best way to create a world wherein our differences don't breed hatred and inequality is to behave like they don't. Acknowledge the past, and work towards changing the standard. For example, someone's sexuality shouldn't matter, so without invalidating anyone, act like you would if it didn't.

I have never once 'come out' to anyone. My sexuality isn't a secret, if it's brought up, I'll talk quite openly about it, but it's just not anyone else's business. Your sexuality is no more integral to your personality than, say, your favourite colour or hobby. At no point did I feel the need to sit my parents down, after months/years of internal battles and fear and confusion, just to tell them that my favourite colour is blue.

The best way to create a world wherein our differences don't breed hatred and inequality is to behave like they don't.

Sexuality is fluid, so is gender. You honestly don't know who you might be attracted to in the future. What's the point in labelling your attraction if you're potentially limiting your possibilities. Blue might be my favourite colour, but I'm not going to ONLY buy blue clothes