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You’re Not Asking for Too Much: Practicing Safety Instead of Suppression
You’ve probably told yourself, “I should be fine.” Maybe you learned early on that being easy to love meant needing less. But every time you swallow your needs, perform “fine,” or apologize for being sensitive, your body pays the price.
In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks why emotional needs are not weakness—they’re your nervous system’s way of asking for safety. You’ll learn how suppressing your needs turns into anxiety, resentment, or shutdown, and why your body confuses needing connection with being “too much.”
Rachel explains how survival wiring makes self-abandonment feel like safety, and how practicing micro-moments of safety rewires that pattern. Using stories from her practice, she shows what rebuilding safety in relationships actually looks like—not as a performance, but as a practice.
If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink to stay loved, this episode will help you understand what your body’s really asking for—and how to meet yourself, and others, with compassion instead of suppression.
Key Topics Covered- Why “I’m fine” is a nervous system defense
- How safety—not silence—regulates your emotions
- The connection between need, shame, and self-abandonment
- Over-functioning vs. under-functioning in relationships
- How to start practicing safety in small, nervous-system-safe moments
- What it means to rebuild connection through presence, not perfection
Resources
- Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
- Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
- The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
- Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.
View all episodes
By Dr. Rachel OrleckYou’ve probably told yourself, “I should be fine.” Maybe you learned early on that being easy to love meant needing less. But every time you swallow your needs, perform “fine,” or apologize for being sensitive, your body pays the price.
In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks why emotional needs are not weakness—they’re your nervous system’s way of asking for safety. You’ll learn how suppressing your needs turns into anxiety, resentment, or shutdown, and why your body confuses needing connection with being “too much.”
Rachel explains how survival wiring makes self-abandonment feel like safety, and how practicing micro-moments of safety rewires that pattern. Using stories from her practice, she shows what rebuilding safety in relationships actually looks like—not as a performance, but as a practice.
If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink to stay loved, this episode will help you understand what your body’s really asking for—and how to meet yourself, and others, with compassion instead of suppression.
Key Topics Covered- Why “I’m fine” is a nervous system defense
- How safety—not silence—regulates your emotions
- The connection between need, shame, and self-abandonment
- Over-functioning vs. under-functioning in relationships
- How to start practicing safety in small, nervous-system-safe moments
- What it means to rebuild connection through presence, not perfection
Resources
- Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
- Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
- The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
- Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.