The case of the woman about to start medical school who’s scared to ask for help with her drinking.

Chloe loves her life. There’s just one problem: she’s starting to drink more than she wants to, and she doesn’t understand why.

But Chloe is scared that asking for help could threaten the career she’s worked so hard for. So how do you deal with a drinking problem before it becomes an emergency? How do you know when it’s serious enough to do something? And what actually helps people change?

In this episode, we find Chloe a proxy: an addiction psychiatrist who got sober at the same age Chloe is now. Together, they talk about genetics, trauma, secrecy, accountability, AA, and what it takes to address a problem before your life falls apart.

Proxy’s fall membership drive is happening now. If you want to help keep the show independent — and get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and more — become a paid member at proxyhq.org 🍏

Learn about alcohol treatment:

— National Institute on Alcohol and Alcoholism — evidence-based information about medications, behavioral treatment, and mutual-support options

— NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator — finding quality treatment in the U.S.

— Healthdirect Australia — alcohol treatment and support in Australia

Resources for doctors and medical students:

— Drs4Drs — confidential support for doctors and medical students across Australia

— Australian Doctors in Recovery — confidential peer support for healthcare professionals in recovery

— Federation of State Physician Health Programs — directory of U.S. physician heath programs

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Sam Doesn’t Know How to Be Rich, another story about trying to understand a troubling pattern before it turns into an emergency.

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

The case of the dog trainer who stopped feeling close to her own dogs. 

Jane's whole life has been dogs. Doggie daycare, animal rescue, behavior modification, fostering, training — dogs were the place she felt most at home. Which is why Jane is so disturbed by what's happening now. She still takes care of her two dogs. She still loves them. But the feeling is gone. 

In this episode, Yowei finds a proxy who helps Jane investigate the emotional aftermath of animal caregiving — the burnout, anticipatory grief, and compassion fatigue that can make even love start to feel like another demand.

Please note: This story contains a brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, call or text 988, or text HOME to 741741.

Featuring Jen Blough, LPC — therapist, compassion fatigue educator, and author of To Save a Starfish. Learn more at animalwelfarewellness.com.

Funding for this story was provided by the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, as part of its “Spreading Love Through the Media” initiative, supported by the John Templeton Foundation.

Resources on compassion fatigue, pet caregiving, and pet loss:

—Compassion fatigue resources from ASPCApro

—Pet caregiver burden resources from Insight Animal Behavior Services

—Cornell Pet Loss Support Hotline

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Brian Can't Stop Fact-Checking His Mother-In-Lawfor another story about caregiver burden. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

The case of the writer whose inner narrator disappeared. 

For most of her life, Caitlin Myer had a narrator. A voice that told stories, shaped sentences, kept her company, and made writing feel less like work than a way of being alive.

Then, after a concussion, the voice disappeared.

Caitlin could no longer write the way she used to. She couldn’t hear the music of her own sentences. And even as she slowly regained the ability to read, work, and move through the world again, she was left with a terrifying question: if the thing that gave your life meaning is gone, how do you find the plot again?

In this episode, Yowei finds Caitlin a proxy: musician and songwriter Greta Morgan, who lost her singing voice after COVID and had to figure out who she was without the voice that had defined her. Together, they investigate the grief of losing the thing that gave your life meaning — and how to find the plot again.

From the episode: 

— Caitlin Myer — author of Wiving— support her on Patreon and learn more: www.caitlinmyer.com

— Greta Morgan — author of The Lost Voice — sign up for her Patreon and newsletter: www.gretamorganmusic.com

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life, for another story about identity and ambition. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]