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Have you ever had something happen in your love life that affected you far more than you thought it should?
Maybe someone pulled away. You got rejected. Or a relationship ended. And instead of simply feeling disappointed or hurt, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You replayed what happened, obsessed over what you could have done differently, and felt desperate to get back the person or connection you lost.
At what point does normal disappointment become something deeper?
In this episode, I sit down with Gabby Bernstein to talk about what’s really happening when someone pulling away, rejecting us, or becoming unavailable triggers a reaction that feels completely out of proportion to the relationship itself.
We talk about anxious attachment, obsessive thoughts and rumination, the difference between wanting love and needing a relationship to feel safe, and why certain people can become so difficult to let go of. We also explore how these patterns can influence who we’re attracted to in the first place.
Gabby shares a practical four-step exercise you can use when you feel emotionally hijacked, so that instead of immediately reaching for the other person, you can begin to understand what the reaction is actually asking for.
Because sometimes the person you’re desperately trying to get back isn’t the thing you need most in that moment.
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You’ve been ghosted. They’re gone. But somehow, the conversation with them is still happening in your head.
You reread the messages. You wonder what you did wrong. You search for the clue that will finally explain why they disappeared.
The problem is, our need for closure can become a desperate attempt to regain control in a situation where we have none. And every time we go looking for an answer, we risk reopening the wound.
In this episode, I’ll show you how to stop that cycle and create the closure you didn’t get from them, including a specific text you can send—not to get them back or force a response, but to help yourself finally move forward.
Because sometimes closure isn’t an answer someone else gives you. It’s deciding you no longer need their answer to move on.
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►► Ready to Stop Giving Other People So Much Power Over How You Feel? Join Me at the Matthew Hussey Retreat (Oct 24-25): MHRetreat.com
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What do people who are naturally good at flirting do differently?
It’s easy to assume they’re more confident, more attractive, or simply better at knowing what to say. But after nearly 20 years of studying attraction and watching hundreds of first dates, I’ve noticed something else going on.
In this week’s episode, I break down three great flirting scenes from movies that look completely different on the surface but all have one surprising thing in common.
And it’s something most flirting advice completely misses.
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►► Want to Feel More in Control of How You Respond to Difficult Emotions? Join Me for The CALM Process, LIVE Online September 29–October 1: 3DayCalm.com
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What if the reason your heartbreak isn’t getting better isn’t because you haven’t tried hard enough to move on, but because there’s a part of it you still haven’t allowed yourself to feel?
I recently sat down with David Kessler, one of the world’s leading experts on grief, and something he said stopped me in my tracks: “You don’t have a broken mind. You have a broken heart.”
We spend so much time trying to think our way out of heartbreak. We compare our pain to other people’s. We distract ourselves. We turn sadness into anger. We tell ourselves we should be over it by now. But underneath all of that may be grief we’ve never really attended to.
And I know that because, during this conversation, David helped me recognize some of my own.
In this episode, we talk about why heartbreak is a form of grief, what anger may actually be protecting us from, and why avoiding painful emotions can sometimes keep us stuck in them for much longer.
Most importantly, we talk about what it looks like to actually show up for yourself in those moments with more compassion and a kinder internal voice.
You may not be able to change what broke your heart. But you can change how you meet yourself in the pain that follows.
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►► Want to Feel More in Control of How You Respond to Difficult Emotions? Join Me for The CALM Process, LIVE Online September 29–October 1: 3DayCalm.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Have you ever noticed that the moment someone starts pulling away, you suddenly want them more?
Maybe they’re taking longer to reply. Their texts are getting shorter. Or they haven’t made plans to see you again. Nothing has actually happened, but you can feel that something has changed.
And suddenly, someone you were still figuring out becomes the person you can’t stop thinking about.
Before you know it, the question has changed from “Do I actually want this person?” to “How do I get them to want me again?”
Why does that shift happen? And why can not knowing where you stand feel even more painful than being rejected?
In this week’s video, I break down what’s really happening in these moments, and I sit down with Gabby Bernstein to talk about why distance can trigger such an intense reaction in us, and how to stop it from taking over.
Because sometimes, the person pulling away isn’t the real reason it hurts this much.
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►► Transform Your Life in 2 Powerful Days. Learn More About the Matthew Hussey Weekend Retreat at: MHRetreat.com
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Have you ever realized that you’re the one keeping a relationship alive?
You’re the one who reaches out. The one who checks in. The one who remembers, helps, gives, and shows up. And after a while, instead of feeling generous, you start feeling resentful.
We often think the answer is to get the other person to give more. But what happens when they don’t?
In this episode, I talk about why sometimes the only way to stop the resentment is to start giving less—and why doing that can be much harder than it sounds. Because when you stop propping up a relationship, you may discover just how much of it was being held together by you.
And then comes the part we don’t talk about enough: the guilt of pulling back, the fear of losing someone you love, and the grief of realizing the relationship may never be what you hoped it was.
Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or someone else you love deeply, this episode is about finding a new way to love someone without constantly draining yourself to keep the relationship going.
►► ►► Take Back Control When Your Emotions Take Over. Join Me LIVE Online for The CALM Process, My 3-Day Experience (September 29–October 1): 3DayCalm.com
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There are small things we do in the early stages of dating that can have a surprisingly big impact on how someone sees us, and on the kind of relationship we end up creating with them.
Sometimes we’re so focused on whether someone likes us that we don’t stop to think about the tone we’re setting. Are we showing them what we value? Are we making it too easy for the relationship to exist entirely on their terms? Are we communicating what we want without even realizing it?
In this episode, I’m giving you 13 practical ways to be taken more seriously by someone you’re dating. Some are incredibly subtle, but they can change the entire dynamic. And I won’t just tell you what to do: I’ll explain the psychology behind each one and give you specific examples and texts you can adapt to your own situation.
Because what you establish in the beginning can follow you throughout an entire relationship. Get this part right, and you give yourself a much better chance of building something where you’re not simply hoping they choose you; you’re finding out whether the two of you can actually build something together.
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►► Want to Change the Way You Show Up in Your Relationships? Join Me at the Matthew Hussey Retreat: MHRetreat.com
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Why can someone who treated you terribly still be so hard to get over?
You know they lied. You remember the manipulation, the gaslighting, and all the ways they made you question yourself. And yet, even after you leave, you can still find yourself replaying what happened, searching for answers, or wondering whether somehow you were the problem.
That’s because getting a narcissist out of your life and getting free from their effects are two very different things.
In this week’s episode, I break down three of the biggest traps that can keep us emotionally tied to a narcissist long after the relationship ends, and what it actually takes to start getting your life back.
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►► Ready to Break the Patterns That Keep You Stuck With the Wrong People? Join Me at the Matthew Hussey Retreat MHRetreat.com
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Have you ever walked away from a conversation with a guy thinking, “Wait... what did he actually mean by that?”
Maybe he says he “isn’t ready for a relationship right now” but continues acting like your boyfriend. Or he tells you he “doesn’t want to hurt you” while still pursuing you. Suddenly, you’re analyzing every word, wondering whether you should give him a chance or take what he’s saying as a warning.
In this episode, I’m breaking down 9 of the most confusing things men say in dating, based on real examples you sent me, including:
If you’ve ever found yourself trying to decode mixed messages or wondering whether you’re reading too much into what someone said, this episode will help you see the situation more clearly and know when it’s safe to keep going, and when it’s time to walk away.
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►► Ready to Break the Patterns That Keep You Stuck With the Wrong People? Join Me at the Matthew Hussey Retreat → MHRetreat.com
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Have you ever wondered why you can feel so much chemistry with someone who's inconsistent, unavailable, or clearly wrong for you... yet struggle to feel the same spark with someone who actually treats you well?
You may genuinely want a healthy, stable relationship. But when you've become accustomed to the emotional highs and lows of unpredictable relationships, healthy attention can feel strangely unfamiliar—and sometimes even boring.
So does that mean you have to choose between chemistry and a healthy relationship? Absolutely not.
In this episode, I'll show you three ways to build real attraction with the right person, including:
The good news is, you don’t have to choose between feeling a spark and being with someone who treats you well. You can have both. And once you learn to feel attraction without needing the emotional roller coaster, it can completely change who you choose next.
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►► Break the Patterns That Keep Leading You to the Wrong People → MHRetreat.com
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From the publisher's feed
Modern dating doesn’t have to be confusing! Join Matthew Hussey—New York Times bestselling author, world-renowned dating coach, and host of the #1 YouTube channel for relationship advice—for…
Every Wednesday, Matthew is joined by his cohosts: his wife and collaborator Audrey Hussey, who brings her signature warmth, wit, and insight; his brother Stephen Hussey, a New York Times bestselling author with a PhD in Philosophy; and Producer David, who adds his unique perspective and humor to the mix. In weekly episodes, they share practical advice, hard-won wisdom, and strategies to navigate finding a lasting relationship. No matter your relationship status, the Love Life podcast will meet you where you are.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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