On Attachment

By Stephanie Rigg

What's On Attachment about?

Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.

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On Attachment episodes:

04.11.2024
What to Do When a Partner Pulls Away
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to navigate a partner pulling away. If you're someone with anxious attachment patterns, a partner's withdrawal or disengagement can feel extremely distressing - and yet, many of our go-to strategies for...
04.02.2024
Self-Soothing for Anxious Attachment
In today's episode, we're talking all about self-soothing and anxious attachment. For most anxiously attached folks, self-soothing and self-regulation can be a real struggle. This typically shows up as an over-reliance on others (often a partner) to be our sole...
03.23.2024
20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style (Part 2)
This episode is part two of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style. I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers...
03.20.2024
20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style (Part 1)
Today's episode is part one of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style. I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers...
03.11.2024
From Conflict to Connection with James "Fish" Gill (@james_fish_gill)
In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by James "Fish" Gill to talk all things conflict and conscious communication. Fish is a coach, teacher and facilitator whose work offers a compassionate paradigm for relating to and transforming moments of...
03.02.2024
4 Common Misconceptions About Avoidant Attachment
In this week's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're exploring some common misconceptions about avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is frequently misunderstood and misrepresented in a lot of online content, and it's so important to me to dispel...
02.21.2024
Cultivating Secure Love with Julie Menanno (@thesecurerelationship)
In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by Julie Menanno. Julie is a couples therapist, best known for her hugely popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship where she offers nuanced and insightful takes on attachment dynamics and how couples can overcome...
02.14.2024
On Getting Back Together with an Ex
In today's episode, we're talking all about getting back together with an ex. Facing the prospect of rekindling after a relationship has ended can bring up so many conflicting feelings - longing, optimism and hope, together with fear, worry, self-doubt...
02.07.2024
The Pillars of a Healthy Relationship with Self
✨ Last chance to join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge ✨ If you've ever come across standard "self-love" advice and it hasn't really landed for you, you're not alone. As great as it would be if we could all click...
01.31.2024
Building Self-Worth & a Secure Dating Mindset with Dr. Morgan Anderson
In today's episode, I'm joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson and we're talking all about building self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence in the context of dating. Dr. Morgan is a licensed clinical psychologist, attachment theory expert, relationship coach, and author of the...
01.23.2024
Why Avoidant People Tend to Struggle with Defensiveness
In today's episode, we're talking all about why avoidant partners tend to struggle with defensiveness. While defensiveness is far from being the exclusive domain of avoidant attachment, many people will attest to the fact that avoidant folks are often quick...
01.16.2024
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
In today's episode, we're talking all about comparison. Comparison is one of those things that we're all susceptible to at some point or another: we compare ourselves based on appearance, personality, success, relationships. It can sometimes seem like there's a...
01.10.2024
5 Hard (But Liberating) Truths About Break-Ups
In today's episode, we're talking all about break-ups. Break-ups are one of the most challenging and sometimes destabilising emotional experiences we can go through, and there is so much conflicting advice and information on how best to approach the ending...
12.31.2023
How to Live Courageously in 2024
For our last episode of the year, I'm sharing my own story about the power of choosing courage over comfort and making bold, scary, uncomfortable choices in the direction of the life that you desire. So many of us cling...
12.22.2023
On Trust, Risk & Vulnerability
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts about trust, risk and vulnerability. Many of us would prefer to trust only when we've completely de-risked or have some semblance of certainty that we won't get hurt, but unfortunately this is entirely...
12.14.2023
3 Relationship Superpowers
In today's episode, we're unpacking three relationship superpowers (which frankly are also life superpowers!). These are the skills and mindset pieces that I wish for everyone to be cultivating as they walk the path of becoming more secure in themselves...
12.05.2023
Why You Should Prioritise Self-Care in a Relationship
In today's episode, we're talking all about the importance of self-care in a relationship, and how prioritising self-care can (somewhat counterintuitively) be far more nourishing and constructive for the relationship than being overly focused on the relationship itself. We'll cover:why anxiously...
11.30.2023
What is Emotional Availability?
In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional availability. Emotional availability is one of those terms that is thrown around a lot on social media - and it seems like everybody is on the lookout for the "emotionally unavailable" people...
11.21.2023
10 Tips for Healing an Anxious Attachment Style
✨ DOWNLOAD THE FREE PDF GUIDE HERE ✨ In today's episode, I'm sharing 10 tips to start healing your anxious attachment style. While "healing" is not something that really lends itself to a formula or a 10-step plan, having guided thousands...
11.14.2023
Am I People-Pleasing or Just Being Nice?
Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Black Friday Sale In today's episode, we're talking all about people-pleasing: what it is, why we do it, and how it's different to "just being a nice person". For many of us, people pleasing...
11.08.2023
Why Anxious & Avoidant People Are Drawn to Each Other
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the common question of why those with anxious attachment patterns are typically attracted to those with avoidant attachment patterns (and vice versa). As we know, this is a very common relationship pairing...
10.31.2023
"How do I know if my relationship is worth fighting for?"
In today's episode, I'm answering a listener's question of "How do I know if my relationship is worth fighting for?" This is a big question, and unfortunately it's one of those messy ones that no one can tell you the...
10.24.2023
5 Things to Normalise in Long-Term Relationships
In today's episode, we're talking all about things that we need to normalise in long-term relationships. So much of the time, our expectations about our relationships - that they should be harmonious 100% of the time, that we should love...
10.17.2023
5 Things Secure Couples Do Well
In today's episode, we're talking about 5 things that secure couples do really well to build safety, intimacy and connection in their relationships. We'll cover:raising important issues and knowing when to let things goprioritising connection, play and intimacyvalidating each other's...
10.10.2023
Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Q&A (feat. my partner Joel)
In today's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're answering your questions about how we've navigated aspects of the anxious-avoidant dynamic in our relationship. We talk about:doing "the work" individually and as a couplehow we've built trust and safety...
10.03.2023
How Stress Impacts Our Relationships
In today's episode, we're talking all about stress and the profound impact it can have on our relationships. We live in a world where stress is chronic and constant - and not only does that spell trouble for our health...
09.26.2023
When Your Partner Doesn't Want to Do The Work
In today's episode, we're talking about what to do when your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship. This is an incredibly common dynamic, to have one partner who wants to actively work on things and another partner who...
09.21.2023
The Pillars of Trust & Trustworthiness
In today's episode, we're talking all about trust & trustworthiness. Trust is something that many people struggle with, oftentimes as a direct result of past experiences where trust has been breached. And as we'll discuss in today's conversation, trust is...
09.19.2023
What Healthy Interdependency Looks Like & How to Cultivate It
In today's episode, we're exploring healthy interdependency. Interdependency is often cited as a key trait of secure functioning relationships, and yet many of us lack a clear picture of what healthy interdependency actually looks and feels like - especially if...
09.14.2023
Anxious Attachment & Open Relationships
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts around anxious attachment & open relationships. While not being my personal experience, this is an area I receive a lot of requests and questions around, as various non-monogamous relationship structures grow in popularity. We'll...
09.12.2023
How to Navigate Different Love Languages
You've probably heard about the 5 Love Languages as pioneered by Gary Chapman. In this episode, I’ll share how to navigate the very common situation of having different love languages to your partner. We'll also cover how love languages interface...
09.07.2023
Q&A: Mismatched Libido & Anxious-Avoidant Sexual Dynamics
Mismatched libido in a relationship is a challenge that a lot of couples face. In today’s episode, I’ll be answering a listener's question of how to navigate mismatched libido in a relationship, particularly in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. I’ll guide you...
09.05.2023
Retroactive Jealousy: Navigating Discomfort With Our Partner's Past
Retroactive jealousy is one that focuses on the past, fixating on other partners or stages in your partner's lives and being threatened by it. In today’s conversation, I’ll dive into how such jealousy stirs immense stress, but more importantly, we...
08.31.2023
"How to navigate being newly single in my mid-30s? I feel like I'm out of time."
With societal pressures and a ticking clock, being newly single in your mid-30s can be challenging. In today’s episode, I want to share advice on navigating being newly single and the mindset for dating, and honouring the desires you have...
08.29.2023
The Importance of Separateness in Relationships
As an anxiously attached person, space in a relationship can sometimes feel like the biggest threat. In today’s episode, I’m sharing my own experience with this and advice on how you can consciously choose space and separateness to foster greater...
08.24.2023
How to Help a Partner Struggling with their Mental Health
Looking out for someone who you care for that is going through a hard time is a challenge most of us will have to face in our lifetimes. But feelings of threat to the relationship, especially as an anxious attached...
08.22.2023
Break-Up Q&A: No-Contact, Reconciling, and Guilt
In today's episode, I'm answering your questions on the topic of break-ups. Break-ups are a universally challenging experience, and an area that I receive a lot of questions on. So today I'm answering your questions on:what is a no-contact period and...
08.17.2023
Navigating Long-Distance Relationships: Tips & Pitfalls
In today’s episode, we’re exploring long-distance relationships. Despite the old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, many people tend to really struggle with long-distance relationship structures. We’ll cover:Why it’s normal and natural to struggle with long-distanceHow attachment dynamics...
08.15.2023
How to Stop Taking Things So Personally
In today’s episode, I’m answering a listener’s question on how to stop taking things so personally. This is something a lot of us struggle with, and can lead us to internalise others’ behaviour in ways that damage our self-esteem and...
08.10.2023
Attachment Styles & Break-Ups
In today’s episode, we’re talking all about attachment styles and break-ups. While of course, break-ups are messy, personal and far from formulaic, there are undeniably certain themes in how our break-ups feel that can be traced to our attachment patterns. Understanding...
08.08.2023
Ghosting: Why It Happens & How to Process
Does ghosting leave you feeling anxious, confused, and questioning your self-worth? If so, you’re not alone. Today, we're diving deep into this all-too-common dating phenomenon. We'll explore why ghosting occurs, the common impacts it has on self-esteem, and how to give...
08.03.2023
How a Fear of Abandonment Impacts Our Relationships
In today's episode, we're diving deep on the abandonment wound - a fear that lies at the heart of many insecure attachment patterns and relational dynamics. A fear of abandonment can show up in so many ways, and can keep...
08.01.2023
The Importance of Discomfort in Life & Relationships
In today’s episode, we’re talking all about discomfort — specifically, why it’s so essential in any healing journey to reframe the way we approach and relate to getting uncomfortable. Most of us recoil at the first sign of discomfort, preferring to...
07.27.2023
3 Essential Ingredients to Make a Relationship Work
Have you ever wondered why your relationship struggles persist, even when you love each other and have tried and tried to make it work? In today's episode, I'm sharing three essential ingredients to make a relationship work. These are fundamental pillars...
07.25.2023
The Path to Healing Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment can be incredibly exhausting - but it doesn't have to govern your future. And in today's episode, I'm going to be laying out the path to healing anxious attachment, walking you through the core pillars of my methodology. We'll...
07.20.2023
Why Are "Toxic" Relationships So Hard to Recover From
Have you ever wondered why it can be so challenging to recover from toxic relationships? Why the drama and unpredictability leave you feeling more disoriented and overwhelmed than relieved? In today's episode, I'm here to guide you through this complex...
07.18.2023
How to Manage Jealousy in Relationships
Unless you're a true outlier, there's a pretty good chance you've had some experience with jealousy. And yet, as universal as it is, jealousy is possibly one of the most maligned emotions we can have. In today's episode, join me on...
07.13.2023
How to Navigate Boundaries with an Ex-Partner
Ever been caught in that tricky situation of setting boundaries with an ex? Navigating this territory can be a daunting task at the best of times, and especially so when co-parenting or shared responsibilities are at play. In today's episode,...
07.11.2023
Breaking the Cycle of Situationships
Ever been stuck in a situationship, that in-between space where you're more than purely casual but not truly committed? In today's episode, we're unboxing this modern dating conundrum. We're peeling back the layers of why we find ourselves in these...
07.06.2023
How to Care Less About Others' Opinions (For the Recovering People Pleaser)
Are you feeling stuck in the perennial battle between seeking external validation and staying true to your authentic self? In today's Q&A; episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to detach from unhealthy people-pleasing behaviours that ask us to trade...

What's On Attachment about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

On Attachment episodes:

What to Do When a Partner Pulls Away

Self-Soothing for Anxious Attachment

20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style (Part 2)

20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style (Part 1)

From Conflict to Connection with James "Fish" Gill (@james_fish_gill)

4 Common Misconceptions About Avoidant Attachment

Cultivating Secure Love with Julie Menanno (@thesecurerelationship)

On Getting Back Together with an Ex

The Pillars of a Healthy Relationship with Self

Building Self-Worth & a Secure Dating Mindset with Dr. Morgan Anderson

Why Avoidant People Tend to Struggle with Defensiveness

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

5 Hard (But Liberating) Truths About Break-Ups

How to Live Courageously in 2024

On Trust, Risk & Vulnerability

3 Relationship Superpowers

Why You Should Prioritise Self-Care in a Relationship

What is Emotional Availability?

10 Tips for Healing an Anxious Attachment Style

Am I People-Pleasing or Just Being Nice?

Why Anxious & Avoidant People Are Drawn to Each Other

"How do I know if my relationship is worth fighting for?"

5 Things to Normalise in Long-Term Relationships

5 Things Secure Couples Do Well

Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Q&A (feat. my partner Joel)

How Stress Impacts Our Relationships

When Your Partner Doesn't Want to Do The Work

The Pillars of Trust & Trustworthiness

What Healthy Interdependency Looks Like & How to Cultivate It

Anxious Attachment & Open Relationships

How to Navigate Different Love Languages

Q&A: Mismatched Libido & Anxious-Avoidant Sexual Dynamics

Retroactive Jealousy: Navigating Discomfort With Our Partner's Past

"How to navigate being newly single in my mid-30s? I feel like I'm out of time."

The Importance of Separateness in Relationships

How to Help a Partner Struggling with their Mental Health

Break-Up Q&A: No-Contact, Reconciling, and Guilt

Navigating Long-Distance Relationships: Tips & Pitfalls

How to Stop Taking Things So Personally

Attachment Styles & Break-Ups

Ghosting: Why It Happens & How to Process

How a Fear of Abandonment Impacts Our Relationships

The Importance of Discomfort in Life & Relationships

3 Essential Ingredients to Make a Relationship Work

The Path to Healing Anxious Attachment

Why Are "Toxic" Relationships So Hard to Recover From

How to Manage Jealousy in Relationships

How to Navigate Boundaries with an Ex-Partner

Breaking the Cycle of Situationships

How to Care Less About Others' Opinions (For the Recovering People Pleaser)

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