Vanessa Patrick shares the science behind why we struggle to say no—and what you can do to get better at refusing. 




— YOU’LL LEARN — 

1) The three competencies of empowered refusal. 

2) What to do when someone’s being pushy. 

3) Why it’s better for your reputation to say no. 




Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep878 for clickable versions of the links below. 




— ABOUT VANESSA — 

Vanessa Patrick, PhD. is the Associate Dean for Research, the Bauer Professor of Marketing, and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in business from the University of Southern California, Los Angeles. She is the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts you in Charge of your Life. 

• Book: The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life 

• Instagram: vanpat23 

• LinkedIn: Vanessa Patrick 

• Twitter: @vpatrick23 

• Website: VanessaPatrick.net 




— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — 

• Book: Lessons in Chemistry: A Novel by Bonnie Garmus 

• Past episode: 701: How to Get People to Say Yes through the Power of Persuasion with Vanessa Bohns 




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878: Saying No Masterfully to Reclaim your Life with Vanessa Patrick

Get more fun, wins, meaning, and money from your job! With 25,000,000 downloads and mentions in The New York Times, Forbes, and Linkedin Learning. This show helps grow your skills and impact at any job that requires thinking and collaborating.  Each week, Pete interviews thought-leaders and results-getters to discover specific, actionable insights that boost work performance. Their stories and advice sharpen the universal skills to flourish at work. Boost your time/energy management, leadership, confidence, career opportunities, and fulfillment—while still getting home earlier. Try starting with episode 0: START HERE and listener favorite episodes we put at the beginning numbered: A, B, C, D, E, and F. (Subscribe and/or sort Old to New to find these starter episodes.) Welcome!

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Dr. Valerie Fridland shares surprising insight into why filler words and other vilified elements of speaking aren’t all that bad in the workplace. 




— YOU’LL LEARN — 

1) The surprising value of saying “Uh” and “Um” 

2) How to switch up your language to build better relationships 

3) The one word that makes you sound more convincing 




Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep963 for clickable versions of the links below. 




— ABOUT VALERIE — 

Dr. Valerie Fridland is a professor of linguistics at the University of Nevada in Reno. Her new book, Like Literally, Dude! Arguing for the Good in Bad English, takes a fascinating look at the history and patterns behind the modern speech habits we love to hate. She also writes a monthly blog called “Language in the Wild” for Psychology Today, is a regular guest writer for the popular Grammar Girl podcast and has a lecture series, Language and Society, available with The Great Courses.  

Her popular facing work has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Nature, Entrepreneur Magazine, Psychology Today Magazine, LitHub and The Conversation. Valerie has also appeared as an expert on numerous shows and podcasts including CBS News, NPR 1A, NPR Here and Now, NPR Day to Day, Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert, Alan Alda’s Clear and Vivid, Newsy’s The Why, The Gist, and The Lisa Show.

• Book: "Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English" 

• Website: ValerieFridland.com 




— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — 

• Article: “The Rise and Fall of ‘ZuckTalk’” by John Herrman 

• Book: "The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary" by Simon Winchester 

• Past episode: 844: The Six Words that Dramatically Increase Your Impact with Jonah Berger 




— THANK YOU SPONSORS! — 

• LinkedIn Jobs. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com/BeAwesome

• Acorns. Start saving and investing for your future today with Acorns.com/awesome

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963: How “Bad” English can Enhance Communication and Relationships with Dr. Valerie Fridland

Marshall Goldsmith unveils his latest (free!) innovation in the field of artificial intelligence: MarshallGoldsmith.Ai. 




— YOU’LL LEARN — 

1) Why Marshall put all of his leadership knowledge inside a bot 

2) Where AI excels and where it falls short 

3) Crucial considerations before using–and making–AI bots 




Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep962 for clickable versions of the links below. 




— ABOUT MARSHALL — 

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is the only two time Thinkers50 #1 leadership thinker in the world. He has been recognized as the #1 executive coach in the world for over a decade. He is the #1 New York Times best selling author of books that have sold over 3 million copies including What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, MOJO, Triggers and The Earned Life. He is the only living author that has 2 books recognized by Amazon.com as the Best Leader and Success books of all time. He has over 1.5 million followers on LinkedIn alone.

• Marshall Bot: MarshallGoldsmith.ai 

• Email: Marshall@MarshallGoldsmith.com 

• Website: MarshallGoldsmith.com 

• Study: “Leadership is a Contact Sport” 




— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — 

• Article: “Six daily questions for winning leaders” 




— THANK YOU SPONSORS! — 

• LinkedIn Jobs. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com/BeAwesome 

• Acorns. Start saving and investing for your future today with Acorns.com/awesome

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962: Marshall Goldsmith Giving Away All His Knowledge through AI

Scott H. Young shows how to get better at getting better. 




— YOU’LL LEARN — 

1) The promise and pitfalls of copying the pros 

2) The See-Do-Feedback model of learning 

3) How to build the perfect environment for learning 




Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep961 for clickable versions of the links below. 




— ABOUT SCOTT — 

Scott H. Young is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Ultralearning, a podcast host, computer programmer, and an avid reader. Since 2006, he has published weekly essays to help people learn and think better. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Pocket, and Business Insider, on the BBC, and at TEDx among other outlets. He doesn’t promise to have all the answers, just a place to start. He lives in Vancouver, Canada.

• Book: Get Better at Anything: 12 Maxims for Mastery 

• Book: Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition, and Accelerate Your Career 

• Website: ScottHYoung.com 




— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — 

• Book: Fear and Courage by Stanley Rachman




— THANK YOU, SPONSORS! — 

• LinkedIn Jobs. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com/BeAwesome

• Acorns. Start saving and investing for your future today with Acorns.com/awesome

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

961: How to Get Better at Anything Faster with Scott H. Young

Jeff Wetzler shows you how to uncover startling wisdom from the people around you through better asking. 




— YOU’LL LEARN — 

1) The mysteries of the unspoken–and how to tackle them

2) The five-step ask approach 

3) The trick to posing quality questions 




Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep960 for clickable versions of the links below. 




— ABOUT JEFF — 

Jeff Wetzler is co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization, and an expert in learning and human potential with more than 25 years’ experience. Wetzler combines unique leadership experiences in business and education, as a management consultant to the world’s top corporations, a learning facilitator for leaders around the world, and as Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America. Jeff earned a doctorate in adult learning and leadership from Columbia University and a bachelor’s in psychology from Brown University. Based in New York, he is a member of the Aspen Global Leadership Network and is an Edmund Hillary Fellow.  

• Book: Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life

• Ask Diagnostic Assessment: Assessment.AskApproach.com

• Instagram: @askapproach

• LinkedIn: Jeff Wetzler

• Website: AskApproach.com




— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — 

• Book: Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott

• Book: Remaking the Space Between Us: How Citizens Can Work Together to Build a Better Future for All by Diana McLain Smith




— THANK YOU, SPONSORS! — 

• LinkedIn Jobs. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com/BeAwesome




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960:  Surfacing Hidden Wisdom for Huge Breakthroughs: A Masterclass in Asking with Jeff Wetzler

Famed emotional intelligence researcher Daniel Goleman shares tools for more productive and fulfilling work days. 




— YOU’LL LEARN — 

1) The five-minute technique for mastering your attention 

2) The technique Special Forces use to stay cool and calm 

3) How to quiet the negative voice inside your head 




Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep959 for clickable versions of the links below. 




— ABOUT DANIEL — 

Psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman has transformed the way the world educates children, relates to family and friends, leads, and conducts business. A frequent speaker on campuses and to businesses of all kinds and sizes, he has worked with organizations around the globe, examining the way social and emotional competencies impact the bottom-line.  

Ranked one of the 10 most influential business thinkers by the Wall Street Journal, Goleman’s articles in the Harvard Business Review are among the most frequently requested reprints. He has won many awards, including the HBR McKinsey Award for best article of the year. Harvard’s Graduate School of Arts and Sciences awarded him its Centennial Medallion. Apart from his writing on emotional intelligence, Goleman has written books on topics including self-deception, creativity, transparency, meditation, social and emotional learning, eco-literacy and the ecological crisis.  

His latest book, Optimal, shows why emotional intelligence can help each of us have rewarding and productive days. Daniel Goleman’s online Emotional Intelligence Program found at,danielgolemanemotionalintelligence.com, offers anyone a deep understanding of the competencies of self-awareness, self-management, empathy and social skill.  

• Book: "Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day" 

• Book: "Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body" 

• Website: DanielGoleman.info 




— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — 

• Book: "Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life" by Martin Seligman 

• Book: "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl 

• Prayer: Reinhold Niebuhr's “Serenity Prayer” 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

878: Saying No Masterfully to Reclaim your Life with Vanessa Patrick

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