You Look Nice Today

You Look Nice Today episodes:

• 04.04.2020

  California King: "What is HØL?"

  Our work was done. We'd said all we needed to say. We apparated from this world, much like monks who retreat to a mountaintop hovel. Only for us, we apparated via Greyhound and hoveled in an abandoned Bauxite mine outside...

  
• 05.16.2015

  Episode 51: Vintage Vape

  Whether you like baseball, chicken dinners, multilevel marketing, or The Price is Right, we offer several varietals of bespoke juices you can enjoy with your family for generations.

  
• 11.02.2013

  Episode 50: Scat Academy (Part 1)

  Welcome to the You Look Nice Today® Scat Immersion Program™. No dogs, babies, or squares allowed. In preparation for your first day on campus, please learn these key phrases, as they represent your final connection with your native tongue: SCAT: Gom zibby,...

  
• 11.01.2013

  Scat Academy (Part 1)

  There's not one citronella solution.

  
• 01.03.2013

  Episode 49: Make a Given Wish

  As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need. So, YES: we will sell, lend,...

  
• 01.02.2013

  Make a Given Wish

  You win awards by confusing people.

  
• 12.02.2012

  Episode 48: Schrodinger's Conference Bag

  Welcome to the global premiere of the International You Look Nice Today Conference & Expo™! Get ready for an epic showcase of big-idea ideations and tactical tactics to be held in the picturesque Los Altos Community Centre, December 2nd 2012!...

  
• 11.02.2012

  Episode 47: Adam Ruins Everything

  Listen. It’s actually very simple. When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today “Inverted Triangle Program™” you enter a world of theoretically unlimited income. Recruit two friends, ask them to recruit two friends, and—BOOM—you’re reviving even the most tired...

  
• 10.02.2012

  Episode 46: Poolside

  ATTENTION! POOL RULES! Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15. Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool. This is a “Body Shame Free” zone. You must keep your eyes closed at all times. Chairs may only be saved with a passport, $50...

  
• 09.02.2012

  Episode 45: Morning Glory

  TO: Paul Polman, CEO Unilever PLC London, United Kingdom Dear Mr. Polman, I hope you can help me. You are in charge of a massive, multinational food and detergent company. So I understand that you are a very busy man....

  
• 08.02.2012

  Episode 44: The Rules

  Hello, my friend! Welcome to my humble automobile dealership! Ah, yes. Very nice. I see you eyeing our all new 2013 Toyota Scimitar with optional Sports Package and Premium Ground Effects. This favored daughter of luxury is blessed with power...

  
• 07.02.2012

  Episode 43: Gellies Local 416

  Thieving Threesome Nabbed (California) Three men were detained and arrested at a local Target today, charged with the attempted theft of over $400 in merchandise. The men refused to identify themselves, giving only their local club affiliation: Gellies Local 416. “This wasn’t...

  
• 06.02.2012

  Episode 42: Druthers, CA

  Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us: • Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward. • DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would cover. •...

  
• 05.03.2012

  Episode 41: The Stenciled Approach

  The Stenciled Approach | You Look Nice Today on Huffduffer Summer’s right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear! First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, pressed, steamed, folded, blocked, shanty-towned, gathered, pinned, stapled,...

  
• 05.02.2012

  The Stenciled Approach

  Sssssh! Imagine it.

  
• 04.02.2012

  Episode 40: Lobster Farm

  We don’t know anyone who loves sushi more than we do. That’s because when we meet someone who loves sushi, we stop talking to them forever. Because we want to be the biggest sushi lovers we know. To honor that love,...

  
• 03.07.2012

  Episode 39: Razzledazzle

  Unpeeling the gunt, extending the brand, and rendering a sidekick polyhedron that really scales. It’s a start.

  
• 11.03.2010

  Episode 38: That's Babies

  “Baby City” Trad., to the tune of “Tabula Rasa” by Arvo Pärt Babies are special babies are tough babies have smooth skin NE-VER rough! Have you been to this place this magical land where everyone’s a baby (baby hearts, baby hands baby hearts, baby hands baby hearts, baby hands) Baby policeman!...

  
• 05.19.2010

  Episode 37: The Magic Number

  We went, with some friends, into the woods. A few days later we left the woods. Our memory of the time we spent in the woods is a bit fuzzy; fortunately, someone thought to make an audio recording of it. This...

  
• 02.09.2010

  Episode 36: Bubbles

  Bankruptcy Liquidation Auction Beginning @ 9:00 AM-85 Herston Rd. Long Beach, CA Feb 8, 2010 Registration 7:30-10:00 A.M. Auction With Reserve Will Be Conducted By: Leroy D. Plaavs, III, License #KCL6232 Notice: LIQUIDATION OF THEIR 15’ x 25’ EXECUTIVE STORAGE UNIT WILL BEGIN PROMPTLY AT 7:30 ALL ITEMS SOLD...

  
• 12.04.2009

  Episode 35: The Sake Period

  Subject: #1228743 “Mann” Application Date: September 4, 1980 Subject has submitted a new application to the Coolness Review Board. Note that this is Subject’s 12th separate application to the Board in just the past 2 years. No signs of progress. Pictured, above, is Subject’s...

  
• 10.09.2009

  Episode 34: In Congrefs

  Hop in our decommissioned World War II tank that has been outfitted to look like the Liberty Bell. The You Look Nice Today Tour of Philadelphia Hotspots starts in 5 minutes! For just a few dollars we’ll take you on an...

  
• 10.08.2009

  In Congrefs

  You Look Nice Today, Live in Philadelphia, The City with a Nickname, September 17, 2009

  
• 09.16.2009

  Episode 33: Breakin' In

  While under the influence of y, we reveal that: Merlin once put x in an envelope. Scott hoped another guy’s x would draw attention away from his own -(x). Adam = 2x. If y = “tequila,” solve for x. Also: Belch alert. Home invasion defense...

  
• 07.30.2009

  Episode 32: The Good Part

  You’re gonna love it—the guitar does this “Wheeee!” thing while the drums go all “Chukka chukka booda booda.” OK, here it comes. Shhhh! No wait, that’s not it. Almost there, just after this last chorus. Seriously, I think you’re going to...

  
• 05.22.2009

  Episode 31: Lonely Polisher

  Seattle LIVE!: April 23, 2009 We teamed up with our pals Jordan, Jesse, Go! and took the Monsters of Podcasting on the road. Our Pacific Northwest Megatour kicked off in Seattle on Thursday and finally ended in Portland, on Sunday. In...

  
• 05.06.2009

  Episode 30: Angry Captain

  INT. DINGY POLICE CAPTAIN’S OFFICE IN THE 80’s - NIGHT The chair behind the captain’s desk is empty. Two men sit, smoking, in folding chairs facing the desk. CABINTIRE (Adam Lisagor) relaxes in one chair; FLEECE (Emmanuel Lewis) fidgets in the...

  
• 03.26.2009

  Episode 29: Vachina

  Making college affordable, restful, and culturally relevant; the cupping comforts of secondary scholarship; Adam becomes a costumed mascot and buys a new koch; how many greeting cards does it take to change (or not change) Los Altos?; Playing Marco Polo...

  
• 02.18.2009

  Episode 28: OPN♥WDE

  Merlin: Boy Scout Scott: Boy Scout Adam: YMCA Indian Guide

  
• 02.03.2009

  Episode 27: Christmas Is Near

  Listen as we conduct our exclusive pro gift-giving super-session TED Talk master class webinar. Over $600 in essential GiftWisdom™ is yours for FREE. Topics include, but are not limited to: Virtual presents Secret Santa? Secret Sucker! 1978 Holiday photography essentials Lessons from Guantanamo Bay Cinco de...

  
• 12.10.2008

  Episode 26: Nickelpuss

  1930’s wandering troubadour Trinket Pills (? - 1939) scored a brief hit on the Wichita charts with his plaintive Ballad of Joey Nickelpuss: Th’ evil alley boys taunted him, But ole’ Young Joe made his way. Terrible crash of bowlin’ pins Th’ sound of...

  
• 12.03.2008

  Episode 25: Faire du camping

  If “penultimate” meant “last,” this would be the penultimate episode of our VSOP series. Thanks again to John Hodgman, Jonathan Coulton, and the sturdy padlocks on the studio doors that prevented their escape. This episode will be more interesting than average...

  
• 11.24.2008

  Episode 24: Faux Tog

  YLNT VSOP, Part II! The drugs* have kicked in, and we have reached cruising altitude. Stay tuned for the final, gripping conclusion to the VSOP series next week. Or so. A partial list of works referenced in this episode, and their...

  
• 11.13.2008

  Episode 23: Selfish Express

  It’s YLNT VSOP, Part I! We convened a special session in San Francisco, featuring guests John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton. Aided by Hodgman’s expertise and Coulton’s hatred of poetry, we finally got to the bottom of our most lingering questions: Why...

  
• 10.28.2008

  Episode 22: Who Voted?

  Thousands* of you wrote to us asking for Election Day guidance. Sadly, we don’t have time to evaluate every candidate in every race. Instead, we commissioned the handy YLNT Voter’s Guide you’ll find below. We recommend you print it onto...

  
• 10.16.2008

  Episode 21: Mr. Owl

  FIRST: Nose harmony, quarters, who’s Capote now?, “He plays you better than you play you,” layers of latex, latchkey ontologies, start shooting your stock scenes now, one water ski or two? AND THEN: Out-browed, back when it was called Mr. Owl, shared entendres,...

  
• 10.09.2008

  Episode 20: Transitions

  You’ve just hopped on the #17 Express and must quickly decide where to sit. In the back of the bus, four teenagers have staked their claim to a dozen seats. An old woman sits next to an open, delicately balanced...

  
• 09.30.2008

  Episode 19: Man School

  Now* accepting applications for the Class of 2016! Sample from our wide range of available courses, including Sociology 102: Shaving, Chemistry 206: Principles of Muskmaking, and Techniques in Silent Disdain. Independent study credit (read: drinking alone) is also available. Listen...

  
• 09.16.2008

  Episode 18: Tang Tangs

  The parenting of negligence, things you didn’t know about gas stations, ancient aphorisms, tethered to a key, you go in and stay there until you have wisdom, They’ve Got It!, blue sky pie in the sky, Adam tries a little...

  
• 09.09.2008

  Episode 17: Where Is the Ham?

  Sandwich smiles into the mouthpiece, teenage telemarketing salad days, LonelyWear’s autumn line, the secret of our success (at Macy’s), ham symphony, Karl gets fired from the Geek Squad, acquaintance on final approach, face school. Important questions raised by this episode: There were...

  
• 09.02.2008

  Episode 16: The Tux Age

  We’re back from summer break full of something and something. Expect weekly episodes until it’s time for fall break. Or early September break. Break! Pilaf games, the myth of women and computers, retroplagiarism can happened to you, young butlers in high...

  
• 07.29.2008

  Episode 15: Rampant on a Field

  Down and out in Улаанбаатар (sorry, Mongolia!), remembrance of fights past, rampant on a field of Wheat Chex, stickin’ with the quadrupeds, Adam’s almost assaulted, don’t flog Detroit’s dead horse, the MySpace Generation has nothing to lose, guac attack. Photo: John...

  
• 07.18.2008

  Episode 14: Aunt Nancy

  Sit back, relax, mix yourself an Aunt Nancy but don’t cross the swords. We’re coloncasting over at bandaid1995.com. ¿Esto debería estar en el recipiente de correo? Body (Not) Movin’.

  
• 07.08.2008

  Episode 13: Expressed as a Vest

  Unhealthy ligatures, a course of Prednisone, “I’m not following you!”, obscure chess moves, smoking for the cure, misused orifices, we pass as nosies, Karl Van Hœt.

  
• 07.02.2008

  Episode 12: Live!: Baby on a Dog

  Recorded live at the Dark Room Theater in San Francisco. Don’t miss lots of great photos from the event. Desperate for funds, we explore opening a restaurant. Along the way, Sandwich cries in the bathroom, Merlin sings a song, and Scott...

  
• 06.23.2008

  Episode 11: Guaranteed Morrie

  Parental interference and other awkwardtunities, pie vs invisibilty, how Adam will die, Tuesdays with Tom Waits, Wisdom Experience guaranteed, another factory closes (bagpipe soundtrack).

  
• 06.12.2008

  Episode 10: Early Bird

  How do your socks feel about it?, a new kind of retail experience, Sandwich knows his Douglas Firs, Farewell to Tight (actually The Sun Also Tights), white shoes, Los Altos Rancho Vista Wi’z, dippin’ dots, our favorite indie bands.

  
• 06.11.2008

  Early Bird

  How do your socks feel about it?, a new kind of retail experience, Sandwich knows his Douglas Firs, Farewell to Tight (actually The Sun Also Tights), white shoes, Los Altos Rancho Vista Wi'z, dippin' dots, our favorite indie bands.

  
• 06.02.2008

  Episode 9: Truck Spank

  So sorry!, the oxygen lobby, doin’ the Skokie, Wallet-on-Chain is not a town in England, Sean Connery is Japanese, What’s your latte name?, pre-disposable feminine hygiene, @EffingBoring gets the carnation.

  
• 05.21.2008

  Episode 8: Sacks-Minnelli Disease

  Doing the fishstick, Sacks-Minnelli Disease, on the logical possibility of a cool fannypack, who’s your frelative?, “A Touch of Asperger’s”, social pressure at work (show your support for Dennis), what’s your standing O face?.