DAN SCHNEIDER APPEARS SEEMINGLY FROM NOWHERE

INT. SAUNA. WHENEVER

DAN SHNEIDER

you need a pedicure.

Would you fucking people stop doing that.

I heard you have something of mine.

This is not a unisex Sauna!

Is it not?!

No!

Where's my shit, Monroe?!

What the fuck are you talking about?!

Hey. You got a weird little toe!

STOP LOOKING AT MY FEET.

we're all adults here.

I disagree entirely. I'm 5!

Okay, that's gross.

Get out!

Fine!

He stands up to exit the Sauna; his towel defaults.

AGH.

Lol with careful editing this is less disturbing, I guess.

It's really not.

Goddamn, manI

I want that script on my desk by Monday.

Or what?!

Or ELSE!

OR ELSE WHAT! CAN'T BE WORSE THAN THIS; I'M CERTAIN!

Don't be so certain, Monroe. I get around.

HOW?! DO YOU AT LEAST HAVE HAZARDS FOR BACKING UP?!

Very funny, Monroe.

[he opens the sauna door to exit.]

(Cont'd)

Very funny. That's my point.

Who's next?! Dan Harmon?!

[exiting]

By Monday, Monroe.

[he backs up]

BEEEP-BEEP—BEEEEP.

[A woman enters the sauna as he is “backing out”

BEEEP! Ahem. Good day, ladies.

[he exits entirely]

[beat]

… is this sauna unisex.

[looking through the window of the sauna he silently mimicks humously threatening gestures out of the view of the woman who has entered, standing at the door for a moment in confusion]

…No, it is not.

I'm afraid you're one nickel short of a Skrillex.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean.

SUCK MY

Schneider. Dan Schneider.

Uh. We fired him.

For several reasons.

Hire ‘em back.

Why?!

Because-time travel.

Time travel what.

Time travel this:

That NEVER HAPPENED!

It didn't!?

Uh. No…?

Ok.

Okay?!

Ok.

*portal*

Check this place out.

What is it.

Not what. When.

When is it?

I don't know yet.

What!?

Let's find a shopping mall.

INT. BEVERLY CENTER. DAY.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

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