Its our third year anniversary and we are cranking out another episode where we recap the best bad movies we've seen in the last year. So happy anniversary to us and we look forward to another year of fine film choosing. This episode we each countdown our 4-1 picks, as well as our favorite movies of 2016.

Its our third year anniversary and we are cranking out another episode where we recap the best bad movies we've seen in the last year. So happy anniversary to us and we look forward to another year of fine film choosing. This episode we each countdown our 10-5 picks.

Its one of the worst box office flops that has ever existed and there's a reason for that. This movie stinks! But take some bad acting, bad action, terrible dialogue, and add in the "idiot plot" and you've got a great time ahead. Yo-ho, me scalped hardys!

Let's get the most common complaint about this film - Geena Davis as action lady. Sure, she stinks. She's got no action ability and looks horrendously awful on screen. Her movements aren't fluid and come at you at about the pace of a turtle. Her action is lumpy. There's just no other word, lumpy. She can't get a line right either.

But here's the deal...she didn't have a lot to work with here. The script is unbelievable. It's filled with cheesy one-liners, more than we've ever come across. It has more terrible one-liners than any Chuck Norris movie. Honestly. Then there's her (at the time) husband's direction. Michael Bay can do a better and more believable job. The action is so poorly put together and each shot has at least one glaring flaw in it. 

Yes, it flopped. Yes you maybe haven't seen it. But here's the deal. This is a classic. It easily qualifies in "the so bad its good" metric. Not many films at this chock full of dumb fun and we all loved it. Stop what you're doing and go watch this. Great for first timers or revisiters.

In our FINAL Prelude episode (that's right, you heard it), we pull out all the stops for Cutthroat Island. It's known to be one of the biggest flops of cinema history and a career-ender for everyone involved except for the director who is at fault more than anyone.

Well that's it folks. Thank you for the years of listening to our prelude episodes. We'll still be doing the weekly main episodes with a few tweaks, but this will be better for you and us. We hope you enjoyed all the cold opens, the Wild Cards, the Sam's Boring Bullshits, the Streaming Do's and Don'ts and all the laughs along the way.

It's one of the crappiest movies ever to have such vast success. Thanks teenage girls. This movie is a whole lot of visual pain and my brain hurts from knowing how stupid it is. Get ready for some real crummy science!

The science....just one time open a book. Just once! So many explosions in space. So much NASA looking completely stupid. Ugh. Moving on...

Despite how bad the science is, it's really the most forgivable part of this turd. This film suffers from "The Idiot Plot", in which the plot of the movie can only exist if everyone in the story is a complete and total moron. NASA makes the big mistake of sending a cadre of morons into space instead of their astronauts, don't bother to come up with plan B, spend all their time dinking around with driller training, and also being in charge of all life on Earth. Nice. Then there's Bruce Willy and team, who we can forgive because, well....they're idiots. They shouldn't even be up there!

Lastly, there's the acting and the dialogue. It's shit-inducing. Ben Affleck and Liv Taylor are the most nausea promoting couple that's ever existed. They drip with cheese and both deserve to be punched square in the mouth. Send these two into space and leave them there place. Bruce Willis isn't much better but it's hard to compete with the vomit couple. 

Too long, too stupid, and too cheesy gross to view. A truly joyless experience. Steer clear.

This week on the greatest podcast about bad movies, Sam decides to punish us for 2 1/2 hours with both Michael Bay and Bruce Willis' first appearance on the show. It's the "classic" teenage-girl loving mega-hit, Armageddon, in which a rock gets sploded by oil drillers. Prepare for some bad science! 

An endless troupe of soon-to-be-dead invade a protected jungle to achieve their cavalcade of ulterior motives set to the backdrop of civil war. There's also a talking trash-can, lasers, primacide, Reagan's Star Wars program, bad science, missiles, bad management and Ernie Hudson. It's time for some good ol' bonkers business.

Congo from opening shot to final frame is a mass of nonsense. At no point in time does anything feasible or scientifically sound happen throughout. It's like they took the original script, sent it to Bizarro World, then brought it back and used that version. None of it makes any damn sense.

Now, the biggie...Amy the gorilla. She stinks, I'm sorry Stan Winston. This is a talking trashcan or at best one of the members of the Chuck E. Cheese band. But she's probably the most likeable character in the film, so you got that going for you.

Then there's the big three, Tim Curry, Joe Don Baker and Ernie Hudson. All are way over the top, like WAY over. Tim's "evil" is laughable, Joe Don's slobbering CEO is hilarious, and Ernie's crappy Lando Calrissian is fall out of your seat terrible. The rest of the rounders casting make ever less sense the plot. Dylan Walsh over Bruce Campbell? What?

Congo is one hell of a dumb/fun time and we highly recommend it for the first time or a revisit. 

Last year we made a hard decision that the classic Michael Crichton adaptation Congo was a must do for an episode and now we have reached the point where its time for such shenanigans. It's lasers, gorillas and greed and everything you want.

When it comes to making a title that is indicative of the plot, well this one nails it. Take 33% LA noir detective business, 33% chainsaw murders and 33 1/3% dancing topless hookers and you've got one of Fred Olen Ray's masterpieces. Hard to not love this blast o' laughs.

HCH (to save time) is hilarious...and quite intentionally. It's the opinion of this writer that Fred Olen Ray could have easily linked up with the Zucker Brothers and Jim Abrahams. If only he had been involved during Jane Austen's Mafia. It may have not been the turd that it was. There's plenty of slapstick and parody that keep the viewer focused on the jokes more than the huge boobs (which is quite the achievement).

Then there's the cast. Wowie. Its a cavalcade of silly performances mixed with killer comedic timing that really take this movie about boobs from a late-night wankfest into a 90% on Rottentomatoes.com. Linnea Quigley, John H. Richardson, Michelle Bauer, and Dukey Flyswatter (Michael Sonye) kill in front of the camera and put on a clinic of how to make a low-budget movie one heck of of a great time. It should also be noted that friend of the program, Christopher Olen Ray, appears as Kid at Bar, who gives the lead quite the snark while enjoying a fancy martini in a dingy "get stabbed" strip joint. Standing ovation.

HCH cannot be missed by any fan of the genre and shouldn't be missed by the majority of film fans. It's up there with Hell Comes to Frogtown in low budget and exceptional pieces of art. Bravo Fred.