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009 – Different Families, Same Fight
Why our differences matter less than we think — and curiosity might be the cure.
You can look at someone’s family, politics, or religion and think it’s nothing like yours. But underneath, most of us are fighting for the same things: safety, belonging, and a shot at raising the next generation, or at least leaving the world a little better than we found it.
In solo episode, Tonya unpacks her conversation with parenting coach Jen Gerardy (Episode 8: Becoming Who You Were Waiting For) to explore how labels, scripts, and moral judgments keep us divided when shared humanity could bring us together. This one’s for anyone who’s ever wondered if belonging is possible across differences. Spoiler: it is, if you lead with curiosity instead of judgment.
You’ll hear how:
- Parenting “off script” can teach us to question inherited beliefs
- Curiosity opens doors that judgment shuts
- Shared goals connect families with very different values
- Chosen family models belonging in action
- Most of us are fighting the same fight, just from different angles
Timestamp Highlights
- 0:48 – 2:23 The surface differences that distract us from shared humanity
- 6:23 – 9:13 Parenting “off script” and redefining what works for your family
- 9:14 – 11:12 Political, faith, and cultural scripts we inherit — and how to rewrite them (if you want to)
- 11:13 – 13:57 Chosen family as a model of community care
- 15:42 – 20:50 Labels, dehumanization, and curiosity as a leadership skill
- 20:51 – 23:28 Compassion across difference: seeing the same fight in others
- 29:03 – 31:42 The heart of it all: different families, same fight
Resources & Mentions
- Episode 8: Becoming Who You Were Waiting For with Jen Gerardy
- Episode 5: Whose Suffering Counts?
- MomCo (formerly MOPS) – a ministry supporting mothers of young children
Meet Your Host
Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high.
Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.
You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.
Let’s Stay Freaky- Facebook Group
- Podcast Hub
What’s Next
Tonya and her biz bestie, Mary Williams of Sasquatch Media Grounds, discuss the quest for fame among creators and how it might not be such a bad thing.
View all episodes
By Tonya KuboWhy our differences matter less than we think — and curiosity might be the cure.
You can look at someone’s family, politics, or religion and think it’s nothing like yours. But underneath, most of us are fighting for the same things: safety, belonging, and a shot at raising the next generation, or at least leaving the world a little better than we found it.
In solo episode, Tonya unpacks her conversation with parenting coach Jen Gerardy (Episode 8: Becoming Who You Were Waiting For) to explore how labels, scripts, and moral judgments keep us divided when shared humanity could bring us together. This one’s for anyone who’s ever wondered if belonging is possible across differences. Spoiler: it is, if you lead with curiosity instead of judgment.
You’ll hear how:
- Parenting “off script” can teach us to question inherited beliefs
- Curiosity opens doors that judgment shuts
- Shared goals connect families with very different values
- Chosen family models belonging in action
- Most of us are fighting the same fight, just from different angles
Timestamp Highlights
- 0:48 – 2:23 The surface differences that distract us from shared humanity
- 6:23 – 9:13 Parenting “off script” and redefining what works for your family
- 9:14 – 11:12 Political, faith, and cultural scripts we inherit — and how to rewrite them (if you want to)
- 11:13 – 13:57 Chosen family as a model of community care
- 15:42 – 20:50 Labels, dehumanization, and curiosity as a leadership skill
- 20:51 – 23:28 Compassion across difference: seeing the same fight in others
- 29:03 – 31:42 The heart of it all: different families, same fight
Resources & Mentions
- Episode 8: Becoming Who You Were Waiting For with Jen Gerardy
- Episode 5: Whose Suffering Counts?
- MomCo (formerly MOPS) – a ministry supporting mothers of young children
Meet Your Host
Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high.
Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.
You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.
Let’s Stay Freaky- Facebook Group
- Podcast Hub
What’s Next
Tonya and her biz bestie, Mary Williams of Sasquatch Media Grounds, discuss the quest for fame among creators and how it might not be such a bad thing.