Find Your Freaks

Reality TV is real. It’s also edited for drama, and we know it. Now AI can build an avatar that looks and sounds like us. In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo picks up a line from Episode 34’s interview with Danie Tidwell, “people just really vibe with authenticity,” and looks at why that hunger feels so sharp right now. She traces reality TV from Candid Camera to Love Island, separates “real” from “authentic”, and shares three things you can do about it. Best part? None of them involve copying her, Danie, or anyone else.

You’ll Hear How

• Reality TV went from Candid Camera to Love Island, and why we now watch it knowing it’s edited
• “Real” means something exists, “authentic” means it’s true to its sourcec
• Watching someone be unapologetically themselves works as proof in real time
• Rachel Allen’s “human is the only move left” applies to our imperfections, because they can’t be produced
• Three steps to your own brand of authenticity

Episode Highlights

• 01:16 – Danie Tidwell’s line that started this episode: “people just really vibe with authenticity”
• 01:56 – From Candid Camera to Love Island: a short history of reality TV
• 03:49 – When AI can copy how we look and sound
• 04:07 – Real vs. authentic
• 06:04 – Why unapologetic guests work as proof in real time
• 09:36 – Three takeaways: don’t let fear hold you back, show your actual process, run your own race

Resources & Mentions

• Episode 34: How to Stop Asking for a Seat and Start Building Your Own Table with Danielle Tidwell of The Tipsy Hellcat
• The Tipsy Hellcat on Instagram
• Episode 4: Belonging Behind Bars with Rachel Allen
• Rachel Allen on LinkedIn
• Rachel Allen on Instagram
• Episode 6: Not on My Watch with Nikki James Zellner
• Episode 20: The Courage to Go First with Stacey Morgan
• Subscribe and review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Meet Your Host

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.

Support the Show

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

Let’s Stay Freaky

• Facebook Group
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• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

What’s Next

Next episode, we keep the authenticity conversation going and break our own format to do it: for the first time, the show has two guests. Julie Fogh and Casey Erin Clark are the co-founders of Vital Voice Training and co-authors of The Authenticity Code. Their take on the topic? Being unfiltered is only one version of authenticity.

When Danie Tidwell got married in 2024, she couldn’t find vendors who matched the vibe she wanted — so she built the business herself. Now her mobile bartending company serves alt weddings across California, and she’s building a bridal collective so the next couple doesn’t have to search as hard as she did. In this episode, Danie and Tonya talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission to be who you are — and what happens to your business when you do.

• Danie went from DIY-ing her own 2024 wedding to launching a business six months later
• “Normie” couples — a teacher, a librarian, a crew of doctors — keep booking an “alt” bartending brand, and why that’s not a contradiction
• Danie builds community with competitors instead of around them
• To signal you can do the work you want to do, even without a client portfolio yet

• 00:01:24 – What happens when the community you need doesn’t exist yet
• 00:03:34 – Danie’s own 2024 wedding and the vendor gap that started it all
• 00:09:19 – “People just really vibe with authenticity” — even clients who aren’t outwardly alt
• 00:10:05 – Jeff and Stacey’s TV Guide–themed wedding and the photographer story
• 00:14:57 – The Pacific Grove birthday party: burlesque dancers, a pancake tradition, and a Scotch-forward Penicillin cocktail
• 00:24:08 – Community over competition, proven in real time at a wedding expo
• 00:39:22 – Her advice for vendors afraid of niching down: throw yourself a launch party

• The Tipsy Hellcat website
• The Tipsy Hellcat on Instagram
• The Tipsy Hellcat on Facebook
• Hellcat Bridal Collective (California) Facebook group
• Penicillin cocktail (use Laphroaig Scotch instead of Islay)

Danie Tidwell is the owner of The Tipsy Hellcat LLC, a mobile bartending business bringing bold, alternative energy to weddings and events across California. She’s building the Hellcat Bridal Collective, a community connecting alt couples and vendors who are ready to find their people.

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

Next episode, Tonya goes solo to unpack a line Danie dropped mid-interview: “people just really vibe with authenticity.” She traces it back through four decades of reality TV — Candid Camera to Love Island — and forward into the age of AI avatars, landing on the distinction that’s driving the whole conversation: real just means something exists; authentic means it’s proven true to what it claims to be.

Why boundaries don’t weaken communities. They strengthen them.

Every community has someone who seems to hold everything together.

They solve the problems. Remember what everyone else forgets. Step in when something falls through the cracks. And because they are capable, everyone keeps letting them.

But what happens when one person becomes responsible for everyone else?

In this solo episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with clergy coach Margaret Marcuson and why the lessons from sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors.

From teachers and healthcare workers to managers, parents, nonprofit leaders, caregivers, and the friend everyone calls in a crisis, Tonya explores what happens when being “the strong one” becomes an expectation.

She shares why burnout cannot always be solved with another productivity system, how over-functioning can unintentionally teach the people around us to under-function, and why doing everything ourselves may actually prevent someone else from discovering what they are capable of doing.

If you are always the person people depend on, or if you rely on someone who seems capable of handling everything, this episode asks an important question: What are you carrying that was never yours to carry in the first place?

• Margaret Marcuson’s lessons about sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors
• High-burnout professions often require people to carry struggles they cannot safely discuss publicly
• Burnout is not always a productivity problem
• Boundaries ask a different question than productivity: What is actually yours to carry?
• Our willingness to carry everything can teach other people that they do not have to carry anything
• Over-functioning can create under-functioning throughout an entire system
• Stepping back can give someone else the opportunity to discover what they are capable of doing
• Healthy communities share responsibility instead of depending on one person to make all the sacrifices
• The invisible labor behind belonging needs to be sustainable too

• [01:30] Why Margaret Marcuson’s lessons about sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors
• [05:30] The struggles people in high-burnout professions cannot always talk about publicly
• [09:00] Why burnout may be a boundaries problem instead of a productivity problem
• [12:00] Boundaries, shared responsibility, and what happens when one person stops carrying everything
• [14:00] How doing everything can unintentionally teach other people not to step up
• [18:00] Why over-functioning creates under-functioning in the systems around us
• [21:00] Giving the strong people in our lives permission to be human and asking what was never ours to carry

• Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap by Margaret Marcuson
• Episode 032: Why Pastors Stay (and Why It Matters That They Do) with Margaret Marcuson

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

Next episode, Tonya talks with Danielle Tidwell, owner of The Tipsy Hellcat LLC, about what happens when the community you need doesn’t exist yet. Danielle is building the Hellcat Bridal Collective to connect alternative couples and vendors who are ready to stop searching for a seat at someone else’s table and create their own.

Why sustainable ministry starts with knowing what is yours to carry

Pastors are called to care for people.

But that does not mean they are called to carry everything.

In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author Margaret Marcuson to talk about what it takes for pastors and ministry leaders to stay in their work without losing themselves in the process.

Margaret has spent more than two decades helping pastors become less burdened in ministry. She shares why over-responsibility is so common among leaders, how expectations from congregations and family patterns can reinforce it, and why setting limits is about more than time management. It requires clarity about your role, your responsibility, and your call.

Together, Tonya and Margaret explore what happens when pastors step back, why guilt does not always mean you are making the wrong choice, and how taking less responsibility can create space for other people to grow.

If you have ever felt responsible for keeping everything and everyone together, this conversation is a reminder that doing your part does not mean doing it all.

• Pastors are navigating financial pressure, political polarization, changing churches, and the everyday emotional demands of ministry
• Sustainable leadership requires clarity of call and self-management, not simply better time management
• Taking responsibility for everything can prevent other people from learning what they are capable of doing
• Family patterns and expectations can shape how leaders relate to responsibility
• Guilt can show up when you set a healthy boundary without meaning the boundary is wrong
• Intentional rest creates space to be free from responsibility before exhaustion forces you to stop
• Healthy churches make room for connection, differing perspectives, and leadership that is not centered entirely on the pastor
• Pastors can begin creating sustainable ministry by protecting time off, staying connected to healthy people, and learning to “keep calm-ish”
• Leaving one church does not necessarily mean leaving ministry, and leaving ministry does not mean you have failed your calling

• [01:30] What pastors and ministry leaders are carrying right now
• [06:50] Why sustainable ministry requires self-management and clarity of call
• [10:30] Taking the church off your back and letting go of the outcome
• [14:10] Why over-responsibility can become part of a leader’s identity
• [17:30] False guilt and what happens when you finally step back
• [21:10] Why naps, rest, and turning off notifications belong in sustainable ministry
• [25:00] Is church still worth it and what makes a church healthy?
• [28:20] Three small ways pastors can make ministry more sustainable
• [30:00] What to consider when you are thinking about leaving ministry

• Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap by Margaret Marcuson
• Leaders Who Last by Margaret Marcuson
• Margaret Marcuson’s clergy coaching

Margaret Marcuson is a clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author who has spent more than two decades helping pastors and ministry leaders develop sustainable approaches to leadership. After serving as a pastor herself for about 15 years, Margaret began coaching clergy to lead with greater freedom, clarity, and less over-responsibility. Her latest book, Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap, explores how pastors can take responsibility for themselves within the systems they serve without carrying the entire church on their backs.

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

Next episode, Tonya reflects on how Margaret’s perspective applies far beyond pastors to anyone expected to hold other people together. What does it cost to become everyone else’s emotional safety net?

Why lived experience matters when everyone online sounds like an expert

The internet is great at surfacing ideas. What it doesn’t do well is tell you which ideas have held up over time. Algorithms reward certainty, simple answers, and quick wins, making it increasingly difficult to distinguish between people who sound like experts and those who have earned their perspective through years of experience.

In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with Jen Mackinnon and shares how it came full circle when she unexpectedly began homeschooling her 12-year-old this spring. Returning to the homeschool world reminded Tonya that what worked for one child, season, or family may not work for another. It also revealed how challenging it can be for newer homeschool families to find advice from people who have already made it through the hard years.

Building on that realization, Tonya explores why experienced people rarely speak in absolutes. They say “it depends,” ask for more context, and openly acknowledge when their opinions have changed. That isn’t a lack of confidence. It’s the perspective that comes from trying different approaches, making mistakes, navigating burnout, and discovering that some lessons can only be learned through time.

Tonya also shares the story behind Been There, Homeschooled That, a free online summit for families in their first three years of homeschooling. She isn’t hosting the summit because she considers herself a homeschool expert. She’s hosting it because she’s an experienced community builder who knows how to find remarkable people, vet real experience, and create spaces where different perspectives can coexist. Every speaker has launched at least one homeschooled child into adulthood because newer homeschoolers don’t need one perfect answer. They need experienced people who can help them ask better questions and find the answers that work for their families.

You’ll hear how:

• The internet rewards confidence more often than experience or proven success
• Algorithms associate certainty, simple language, and named frameworks with authority
• Experienced people say “it depends” because they understand the importance of context
• Changing your mind can be a sign of earned wisdom rather than inconsistency
• What works for one child, family, or season of homeschooling may not work for another
• There is no single curriculum, routine, or philosophy that works for every homeschool family
• Community matters when one space only recognizes part of your identity or circumstances
• Perfection is not the goal when choosing curriculum or building a homeschool routine
• Some lessons about burnout, adolescence, and launching children can only be learned through time
• Been There, Homeschooled That connects newer families with veteran homeschoolers who have lived through the hard years

[01:15] How Tonya unexpectedly found herself homeschooling again

[03:00] Who do you trust when everyone online sounds like an expert?

[03:50] Why the internet rewards confidence more than experience

[08:40] What experienced people mean when they say “it depends”

[13:30] The conversation that inspired a summit for homeschool “dinosaurs”

[16:35] Why there is no single right way to homeschool

[22:30] Why newer homeschoolers need guidance from people who have survived the hard years

[26:30] The story and purpose behind Been There, Homeschooled That

• Been There, Homeschooled That – Register for the free online summit taking place September 1–3, 2026, with recordings available through September 8
• Episode 030 – The Hidden Life of Working Homeschool Moms with Jen Mackinnon
• Practical by Default – Practical resources and support for working homeschool moms
• Working Homeschool Mom Club – Jen Mackinnon’s free community for moms balancing work and homeschooling

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

Next time, Tonya talks with clergy coach and author Margaret Marcuson about sustainable ministry, clergy burnout, and what happens when the people holding communities together can no longer hold themselves together.

Why belonging should never require you to split yourself in two

Working moms are often told they cannot give enough to their children.

Homeschool moms are often told they should give everything to their children.

So what happens when you are both?

In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with Jen Mackinnon, founder of Practical by Default and the Working Homeschool Mom Club, to talk about living at the intersection of two communities that were never designed to overlap.

Jen shares why she began homeschooling reluctantly, what it was like to return to work outside the home, and how advice from both sides often amounted to the same thing: quit your job or put your kids in school. What began as one mom looking for people who understood eventually became a worldwide community of more than 30,000 working homeschool moms.

Together, Tonya and Jen explore the judgment these moms face, the practical systems that make an unconventional life sustainable, and why the answer is rarely giving up one of the things that matters most.

If you have ever been told that two important parts of your life cannot coexist, this conversation is your reminder that belonging does not require you to split yourself in two.

• Working homeschool moms can feel like outsiders in both working-mom and homeschool-mom spaces
• Advice becomes judgment when the proposed solution requires abandoning your values
• The pandemic changed public perceptions of homeschooling and created new challenges for families
• Grace and empathy make room for families to choose what actually works for them
• Practical systems should support your life instead of asking you to organize your life around them
• A buffer block creates breathing room when plans, deadlines, and family needs change
• Budgeting your energy can be just as important as budgeting your time
• Online and asynchronous connections can provide meaningful community for busy moms
• Listening without judgment is more helpful than assuming work or homeschooling is the problem
• Teaching children how to learn matters more than getting every lesson perfect

[01:30] Meet Jen Mackinnon and the working homeschool moms who are her kind of freaks

[09:50] Why judgment doubles when moms work and homeschool

[15:50] Realizing this was not just one mom’s problem

[20:00] What makes a system practical and sustainable

[24:50] The buffer block and why leaving space in your week matters

[30:50] Rethinking what community can look like for working moms

[38:00] Why making mistakes does not mean you are failing your children

• Practical by Default
• Working Homeschool Mom Club
• The Canadian Homeschooler

Jen Mackinnon is the founder of Practical by Default, where she helps working homeschool moms balance their careers, their children’s education, and everyday life with confidence. After struggling to find advice that did not tell her to quit working or stop homeschooling, Jen created the Working Homeschool Mom Club to connect with other moms making both work. What began as a small Facebook group has grown into a worldwide community of more than 30,000 members. Through practical resources, flexible planning tools, and honest conversations, Jen helps working homeschool moms create systems that support their real lives.

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

Since recording this conversation with Jen, Tonya has started homeschooling her twelve-year-old again, this time with more experience and a different perspective. Next episode, she explores a question that keeps becoming more important online: When everyone sounds like an expert, who do you trust?

Why belonging is built through alignment, not proximity

Most people think loneliness is a math problem. More friends. More invitations. A busier social calendar. But what if loneliness has nothing to do with how many people surround you? What if it's actually about whether the people around you understand who you are?

In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with Alicia Shidler and unpacks one of the biggest misconceptions about belonging: that proximity creates connection. Alicia's story of leaving California for rural Michigan demonstrates that being physically close to people isn't the same as feeling known. Instead, belonging comes from finding people who share your values, understand your priorities, and make space for you to be fully yourself.

Building on that conversation, Tonya explores how intentional living often challenges the expectations of others. Whether it's choosing a different lifestyle, raising a family differently, or pursuing goals that don't make sense to the people around you, living in alignment with your values can feel lonely at first. But that discomfort often becomes the pathway to finding the people who truly understand you.

Tonya also examines the role community plays in that journey—both online and offline. Drawing from Alicia's experiences navigating homesteading groups and her own work as a community strategist, she explains why healthy communities aren't defined by their size but by their purpose, consistency, and ability to make people feel safe enough to participate. Because belonging isn't about collecting people. It's about finding the ones who feel like home.

You’ll hear how:

• Loneliness is more about alignment than physical proximity
• Feeling understood creates deeper belonging than simply being included
• Intentional living often challenges the expectations of others
• Online communities can become powerful places to build meaningful connection
• In-person and online communities each serve different but equally valuable purposes
• Strong community leadership creates trust through consistency and accountability
• Silent members are often paying the closest attention before they choose to engage
• Clear purpose and healthy moderation help communities thrive
• Authenticity helps you recognize the people who truly understand you
• Belonging begins when you stop trying to fit in and start living in alignment with your values

[01:12] Why loneliness isn't simply a numbers problem

[04:05] Alicia's move to Michigan and how alignment replaced proximity

[07:50] What Tonya's front yard garden revealed about other people's assumptions

[11:40] Why intentional living often makes others uncomfortable

[15:05] Online communities aren't a consolation prize—they're often where belonging begins

[18:45] What healthy communities do differently to create trust and safety

[22:15] Why silent community members may be paying the closest attention

[25:20] Finding your people by living authentically

• Episode 028 – What If It's Not Normal… But It Works? with Alicia Shidler
• Sustaining Humanity by Phil McKay

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

Next time, Tonya sits down with Jen Mackinnon to explore what it means to belong in two worlds at once. Together, they unpack the unique challenges of balancing career and homeschooling, building community at the intersection of both, and why choosing a practical path doesn't mean settling for less—it means creating a life that works for your family.

There comes a moment when you realize that "normal" isn't actually the same thing as "right." Maybe it's reading ingredient labels for the first time. Maybe it's questioning a habit you've never thought twice about. Or maybe it's making a small decision that slowly changes the way you live your entire life.

In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with Alicia Shidler to talk about what happens after you stop chasing normal. From food and homesteading to parenting, community, and personal conviction, Alicia shares how one simple question—"What if there's a better way?"—led to a life that looks very different from the one she expected.

Their conversation isn't really about tallow, sourdough, or raising chickens. It's about what it feels like to make choices that don't fit neatly into other people's expectations. It's about navigating the tension between staying true to your values and wanting to belong in the communities around you. And it's about discovering that living intentionally will almost always look a little strange to someone else.

Whether you've questioned what's in your food, chosen a path your friends don't understand, or simply wondered if you're the only one doing life differently, this episode is a reminder that belonging doesn't require becoming more "normal." Sometimes it means becoming more yourself.

• One small question can completely reshape the way you live
• Intentional living happens one decision at a time, not all at once
• Curiosity is more sustainable than fear when making lifestyle changes
• Community becomes more complicated when your values look different
• Online communities can be places to quietly learn before speaking up
• You don't have to convince everyone else to validate your choices
• Modeling your values is often more powerful than arguing for them
• Living differently doesn't have to mean living defensively
• Belonging is possible even when your life looks unconventional

[00:00] The marshmallow moment that started questioning "normal"

[04:30] Building a family that spans very different seasons of life

[11:45] Why intentional living happens one choice at a time

[19:10] What online communities taught Alicia before she ever spoke up

[26:00] Behind the scenes of moderating large Facebook communities

[35:35] Belonging when your version of "normal" looks different

[39:50] Why you can't force people to change—you can only show them

• Shidler Goods
• Hope & Stay by Sonya Tucker

Alicia Shidler is the founder of Shidler Goods, a Michigan-based small business specializing in handcrafted tallow body care products. Passionate about intentional living, Alicia enjoys baking gluten-free sourdough, caring for livestock, reading ingredient labels, and continually learning how small, thoughtful choices can lead to a healthier and more purposeful life. Through her business and everyday life, she encourages others to question what "normal" means and embrace the practices that align with their values.

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She's spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she's not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that "normal" was never the point. When she's not hosting the show, she's raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Podcast Hub

Next time, Tonya explores why communities often mistake "the right way" for "the only way"—and how belonging begins when we make room for people whose paths look different from our own.

Why reducing cognitive load creates communities where more people can participate, connect, and thrive

Accessibility is often treated like a checklist: add captions, include transcripts, make sure the technology works. But what if accessibility is actually something much deeper? What if it is one of the clearest ways we communicate care and create spaces where people genuinely belong?

In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo expands on her conversation with Dr. Catrina Mitchum and explores why accessibility is about far more than compliance. Whether you're leading an online course, hosting a workshop, facilitating a community, or running an in-person event, every design decision either removes friction or creates it. Those choices shape who feels welcomed, who feels excluded, and who has the opportunity to fully participate.

Through practical examples ranging from breakout rooms and workshop activities to transcripts, captions, seating arrangements, and course design, Tonya unpacks the hidden impact of cognitive load. She challenges creators and community leaders to stop asking whether people can technically access an experience and start asking whether they've intentionally designed an experience that allows people to succeed.

More than anything, this episode is an invitation to view accessibility as an act of hospitality. Small, thoughtful changes don't just support people with disabilities. They create better experiences for parents, busy professionals, neurodivergent learners, and anyone who benefits from having multiple ways to engage. Because when people feel considered, they feel connected. And connection is where belonging begins.

You’ll hear how:

• Accessibility extends far beyond captions and transcripts
• Cognitive load influences how people participate and learn
• Thoughtful design benefits everyone, not just people with disabilities
• Online and in-person experiences can unintentionally create barriers
• Charging extra for basic accessibility features undermines belonging
• Every activity should be designed with a clear learning goal in mind
• Offering multiple ways to participate lowers barriers to engagement
• Small changes communicate care and strengthen community
• Asking "Who might be left out?" leads to more inclusive experiences
• Belonging cannot exist without meaningful access

[01:10] Why accessibility is about removing friction, not checking boxes

[05:00] How cognitive load shapes the way people learn and participate

[09:30] Why transcripts, captions, and multiple learning formats benefit everyone

[13:50] The problem with putting accessibility behind a paywall

[17:45] Three questions every course creator and community leader should ask

[21:20] How offering multiple ways to participate strengthens belonging

[25:00] Why accessibility is ultimately an act of care

• Episode 026 – Interview with Dr. Catrina Mitchum

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high.

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

• Facebook Group
• LinkedIn
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Next time, Tonya sits down with Alicia Shidler to explore what it means to live with radical intention. Together, they unpack choosing purpose over expectations, building a life anchored in what matters most, and why being a good parent doesn’t mean losing yourself along the way.

What if accessibility isn't a checklist to complete, but one of the most powerful ways we create belonging?

We love to talk about community — how to build it, grow it, and sustain it. But here’s the truth: you can’t have community without access. And too often, accessibility gets reduced to a narrow conversation about compliance, accommodations, or disability when it’s really about something much bigger.

In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with learning experience designer and online education expert Dr. Catrina Mitchum to explore what accessibility actually means and why it matters far beyond legal requirements. Drawing on nearly two decades of experience teaching adults online, Catrina shares how thoughtful course design, clear communication, and a willingness to ask better questions can help more people participate, learn, and belong.

Together, Tonya and Catrina unpack the hidden barriers that often prevent people from fully engaging in learning communities, from cognitive overload and unclear instructions to assumptions about technology, culture, and prior experience. They also challenge the idea that accessibility is something extra we do after the fact, arguing instead that it should be woven into the foundation of every community and learning experience from the start.

At its core, this conversation is a reminder that accessibility isn't about perfection. It's about making intentional choices that help more people feel seen, supported, and welcomed into the room.

• Why accessibility is foundational to belonging and community
• How accessibility extends far beyond captions and compliance checklists
• The hidden role cognitive load plays in learning and participation
• Why clear instructions and context make learning more accessible
• How providing options helps people engage in ways that work best for them
• The connection between accessibility, inclusion, and community building
• Common mistakes course creators make when trying to be accessible
• Why asking people what they need is often the most powerful first step
• How accessibility benefits everyone, not just those with disabilities
• Practical ways business owners and educators can make immediate improvements

[03:15] Why accessibility is really about belonging

[08:20] Expanding accessibility beyond captions, ramps, and compliance

[19:30] The role cognitive load plays in learning and participation

[24:40] Why learners need to understand the purpose behind what they're doing

[30:15] How accessibility strengthens communities and invites diverse expertise

[44:15] The simple question that can make any space more welcoming: “What would make this a pleasant experience?”

Dr. Catrina Mitchum is on a mission to revolutionize the online course creation space. A recovering academic who has been teaching adults online since 2009, she combines her expertise in learning experience design, instructional strategy, and accessibility to help overwhelmed small business owners create courses that actually support learner success. Through her work, Catrina helps aspiring course creators build engaging, accessible learning experiences that prioritize people over perfection.

Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.

“Accessibility isn't optional. It's foundational to belonging.”

“When we make things accessible to more people, it helps far beyond the people we were originally trying to serve.”

“You are not the only expert in the room, and that's exactly how community should work.”

“It's okay if you don't know what people need. Asking is a really good first step.”

“What would make this a pleasant experience?”

• Dr. Catrina Mitchum
• Course Creator Playbook
• Dr. Catrina Mitchum YouTube Channel

If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.

You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.

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In the next episode, Tonya explores what accessibility really means beyond captions, transcripts, and compliance checklists. Building on her conversation with Dr. Catrina Mitchum, she examines how removing unnecessary barriers creates stronger communities, deeper belonging, and better experiences for everyone.