This episode is for anyone who finds themselves caught off guard in meetings or difficult conversations—when your chest tightens, your mind races, and you struggle to respond from your best self. We talk about why activation happens, what to do in the moment, and how to build capacity so these moments happen less often.

The Big Question

What do I do in the moment when I'm having a conversation and I feel activated?

What We Cover

• Recognize the fear response – Activation is your body going into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The first sign is somatic—chest tightening, shallow breathing, body tension.
• Use breath to get grounded – Box breathing (in 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4) gets you back in your body. Then assess: Can I pause this conversation?
• Get curious, not defensive – Ask clarifying questions and challenge your assumptions. Someone asking lots of questions may be seeking understanding, not attacking you.
• Do the deeper work later – After the moment passes, explore what activated you, what old story you're protecting, and what capacity-building you need.
• Build resilience when you're calm – Use assessments and tools, practice self-awareness, celebrate small wins, and don't underestimate the basics like sleep and hydration.

Key Takeaway

In the moment: breathe, pause if possible, get curious. Long-term: build capacity through self-awareness and tools so you respond from your best self, not your scared self.

Resources Mentioned

• Susan David, Emotional Agility
• Brené Brown, Dare to Lead
• Amy Gallo, Getting Along
• Gretchen Rubin, The Four Tendencies
• Energy Leadership Index assessment
• GlobeSmart assessment

Resources:

• Navigating a big transition? Check out our Pivot Plan: 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Your Next Big Move.
• Think coaching might be right for you? Schedule a free consultation to explore how we can help you step into your next level of leadership.
• Interested in going deeper in your own leadership and building your network? Join the waitlist for The CoCreate Work Leadership Book Club to explore the themes from this episode in community—through powerful reads, reflection prompts, and live conversations.
• Our last session of the Culture Crash Course just ended, but if you're interested in a Culture Crash Course for your organization or team, please contact us at [email protected].
• Interested in leadership development for your team? Our Workshops are a great wait to develop your team's skills and connection.
• At CoCreate Work, we believe in asking great questions. Click here to receive our guide to 40 Powerful Questions to accelerate your growth.

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