Stressless Eating

013: Does It Ever Get Easier?


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Back when I owned my Fitness studio for women, I used to offer this thing called a "28 Day Holiday Body Challenge". 

Every single year, 50 or so women (that would otherwise be gaining weight during that tricky time between Halloween and New Year's) would sign up to work with me while I guided them through the process of "dropping pounds fast" or "getting in your skinny jeans by New Years" or "getting rid of that muffin top" (or whatever words I was using at the time.)   

It wasn't rocket science: 

I would put them on a calorie-restricted meal plan, have them come to my studio (at least) 3 days per week to work out, and then strategically use the holidays (like Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day) as a "cheat day".  

And of course (as you do when you're in "weight loss challenge" mode), we took pictures, measurements, and body fat percentages to measure their progress. 

As you can probably imagine pounds were dropped. Physiques were chiseled. And body-shaping happened right before my very eyes.

It ALL worked until it didn't anymore.   

Things were great for 30 days or 6 weeks, but what happened after that?

Well that's the part that my own shame and fear of failure didn't allow myself to share for a long time. 

Because the truth is, come January 1st, that dreaded ‘Bounceback Effect’ was already in full force:

  • They had grown TIRED of seeking out the energy to monitor, count, measure, and track every morsel of food that touched their lips. 
  • Their bodies were exhausted, sore, over trained, and in need of some major recovery after the (literal and metaphorical) sprint they just participated in. 
  • Their mojo was shot! They spent all that time and energy using their limited stores of willpower and motivation to keep things going for those few weeks.

Looking back I know exactly why it happened too. We only made over PART of them. 

We didn’t do what needed to be done on the INSIDE: the head work, addressing the problem, and creating actual brain-change.

We never addressed the CAUSE of their struggles, their RELATIONSHIP with food, or their RELATIONSHIP with their body. 

We just essentially threw another diet, another plan, and another short-term band-aid at it. 

What if instead of committing to ANOTHER diet or ANOTHER 'fix' you:

  • first identified what is clearly NOT working?
  • simply created an awareness of what NOT to do more of -- the road NOT to keep going down?
  • simply started becoming an 'observer' instead of a 'doer' or 'action-taker'?

Most WON'T do this. Most women will go start looking for the next diet, the next game of "control myself", the next action item.  But those that DO -- those that stop the 'definition of insanity' (doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results)...they'll find that their journey to healing and to finally ENDING the suffering and struggling can finally begin!

So let's talk about this, shall we? Instead of making it so hard, so complex, let's talk about making it EASIER!

As in, take the time and energy ONE time to learn the language of stressless eating; a language that gets easier the more you practice it and you get better at it the more you practice it so it just becomes you... VS dieting that gets HARDER and you get WORSE at it.

Let's talk about THAT kind of thinking for a change.

I get asked all the time by stressed out dieters and women that are SICK of thinking about food:

They ask me, Leanne, "Does it ever get easier?"

The answer is Yes AND No depending how you look at it:

Here are a couple of the ways it looks like to practice hard:

★ CONTROL: This includes restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion, counting, weighing, measuring, micro-managing, obsession.

★ PAIN: This means physical, mental, or emotional pain.  Practicing anything that is soul-sucking, energy-robbing, smile-stealing, stress-inducing, or that you outright do not like or do not enjoy. 

★ EXTREMISM: This means all the black/white, all in/all out mentalities, using language labeling things as "good/bad", "wrong/right", "should/shouldn't", "always/never", or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice your happiness, peace of mind, or freedom for results. 

And here are some of the ways it looks like to practice ease:

★ FREEDOM: This is about feeling like we have a choice; an abundance of choices. Feeling like we have influence over ourselves and our behaviors (rather than THEM controlling US). Feeling FREE; not chained to or confined by rules and regulations and especially diets. 

★ CONSISTENCY:  If you're not able to get yourself to do it consistently, you'll never get the 'returns'. You're better off working in MINIMUMS and doing things consistently, rather than working in MAXIMUMS and doing it sporadically. Consistency is the key. Consistency over intensity all day every day. Which is the opposite of most diets. 

★ SUSTAINABILITY:  Anything that we can see ourselves doing not just a week from now...but 1, 3, 12 months from now. Anything that doesn't fit in this category is bound to be a time-limited 'thing' that will eventually get HARDER the more we practice it. 

This is how you practice ease. And if you’re anything like me (and I was dieting my whole life), this is not the stuff that usually comes alongside dieting. And that’s why you need a whole new way of thinking which again might seem foreign to a lot of women listening. 

And yes again...you can play the diet game over and over again and never break the cycle, or you can do what we are doing right here and now which is to CHANGE YOUR THINKING so you can get different results. But if you want to DO differently, you must THINK differently.

Most WON'T do this. Most women will go start looking for the next diet, the next game of "control myself", the next action item.  But those that DO, those that stop the 'definition of insanity' (doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results) they'll find that their journey to healing and to finally ENDING the suffering and struggling can finally begin!

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Stressless EatingBy Leanne Ellington

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