亚马逊热带雨林里的一束光 A Beam in the Amazon Rainforest by 张皓若

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穿过渔民们放着各种颜色的鱼虾水品，充斥着葡萄牙语陌生但热闹的声音，还有混杂着河水和热带城市特有味道的农贸市场，我在马瑙斯的港口见到了Loucivildo。

Meandering through fisherman's colorful seafood in the local food market with the strange yet lively sounds of Portuguese in the ears and the smell of special tropical city and river in my nose, there at Manaus Port, I met Loucivildo.

绿色迷彩的上衣和一条浅色短运动裤，破了一点的运动鞋，不高但黝黑结实的身材。他热情的用英语简单的问候了乘船的我们。在得知有两位来自西班牙和法国的游客之后，他又和他们用法语和西班牙语寒暄了几句。Loucivildo从小在雨林里出生和长大，是我接下来十天住在巴西的热带雨林里的向导。

He was in his camouflage green shirt, light-colored shorts and worn sports shoes. His physique was not tall but looked brawny with his tan. He welcomed us passionately in simple English when we onboarded his boat. After knowing 2 of our fellow tourists were French and Spanish, he made small talks with them in French and Spanish. Loucivildo was born and raised in a rainforest village and he'd be our guide in the Brazilian rainforest for the next 10 days.

7个人挤在一艘小船上，驶过著名的黑白河段，Loucivildo一边和我们用简单但流利的英语解释着这奇异景观的成因，一边熟练的驾驶着小船前行。

7 of us got on board, crowding the small boat. We passed by the renowned Solimões and Negro Rivers, where black and white water joined together yet flew divided with their own colors. Loucivildo introduced why such an amazing landscape came into being in simple yet fluent English while steering the boat adroitly.

热带雨林里的热是无处可逃的，特别是在没有风的时候。我们渐渐驶入人烟稀少的雨林深处，蝉在不知名的角落里鸣着，偶尔听到远处吼猴的呼唤。起风时，芭蕉树巨大的叶片像水波般颤动，沙沙的声音总让人有种下雨了的错觉。

Heat is inescapable in the rainforest, especially without wind. Slowly, we started to enter the depth of the secluded part of the rainforest. Cicadas were singing in their tenor voices in some hidden corners. Howler monkeys were howling far away. In the blows of the wind, the giant banana leaves were trembling like water waves, producing the pitter-patter sounds like it was raining.

眼看好像还很远的一团乌云，瞬间就来到了我们面前。豆大的雨点带着摧枯拉朽之势落下，不带丝毫同情或是温柔。我们狼狈的急忙用雨衣和塑料布遮住自己和装着贵重物品的包，好不容易睁开眼睛时，我看到Loucivildo被淋得湿透，但却平静的坐在船头，看向远方。顺着他的视线望去，远处的树林和水面在大雨里也是那么从容安然。不像在内陆摇摇欲坠的城市，狂风暴雨中摇晃不已的树枝，亚马逊雨林更像一个张开双臂拥抱天空的庞大身躯，宁静的把风雨融入自己的身体，滋润万物生灵。

Suddenly, a cloud floating afar flew over us in no time. Bean-sized rain drops bucketed down, with no mercy or gentleness. Helter-skelter, we covered ourselves and our bags with raincoats and plastic clothes. Struggling to open my eyes, I saw Loucivildo sitting peacefully at the bow, completely drenched, eyesight perching afar. I looked where he was looking--the forest and the water in the distance were relaxing and restful in nature's bath. Unlike the shaking and bustling mainland city and the jerking twigs in the rainstorm, the Amazon rainforest stands like a giant embracing the sky, melting the wind and rain inside of its body to mother all beings.

来势汹涌的暴雨和黑暗压城的乌云固然震撼人心，但看着大地不动声色地化解这来势汹汹，雨过之后除了沾着水滴的树叶毫无那场天地混沌的痕迹，感受到的则是敬畏，是对灵魂的洗涤。再看到Loucivildo，雨晴之后在加速行驶的小船上被风一吹，我们到达森林小屋时他也都被吹干了。就像刚才那场瓢泼大雨没有发生一样，真是森林的孩子，和养育他的自然母亲同样的秉性，一份外来旅行者——虽带着各种所谓高级的户外装备——也学不来的洒脱。

Walls of rain and the cumulonimbus helicoptering us overwhelmed me. Yet it was how the land calmly welcomed such a rainful aggression that made my soul feel awed and cleansed. When the rain ceased, there were no signs of its intensity except for a few drops on the tropical leaves. I took another look at Loucivildo. Breaking the wind while steering his boat faster under the sunshine after the rainstorm, he was dried when we arrived at the forest cabin. He was so cool about everything like nothing had happened. No wonder he was the son of the forest, sharing the same personality as that of his nature mother. Such a Zen can never be learned by outside tourists in spite of their high-end outdoor equipment.

后来的日子里，我渐渐了解了Loucivildo的故事。他从小虽在本地原著居民的部落出生，但青年时期开始在雨林里的各种民宿和旅馆打工，遇到世界各地的人们，通过和他们聊天学会了6、7门语言。

As days passed, I learned more about Loucivildo. He was born in an indigenous tribe, but he worked in hostels and hotels in the rainforest in his adolescence. By meeting and talking with people across the globe, he learned 6 or 7 languages.

白天，他带我们去开阔的水域划船，去长满刺的荷叶丛钓食人鱼，去无人涉足的雨林里徒步，去原住民的家中吃饭和学习他们采集和加工木薯粉的智慧，带我们去看爬满了小蚂蚁的大树，他温柔的让这些小蚂蚁爬到身上又回到树上，说这就是当地人的防蚊技巧，他们没有也不用防蚊喷雾。

In the daytime, he took us to row in open waters, to fish Piranha in the spiky lotus bushes, to trek in the rainforest that hadn't seen lots of human footsteps, to eat at indigenous people's homes, and learn about how they collected and processed tapioca. He also took us to see big trees resided by many many small ants. He lead them to climb to his body gently and back to the tree, explaining that this is a local technique to ward off mosquitoes. They don't possess or apply any repellents.

天黑前，我们在木屋里一起吃饭聊天。夜幕笼罩之后我们划着小船出去，目光所及之处没有一点人类文明的痕迹。闪烁的银河映在平静的湖面上，天上脚下全是星星，感觉自己好像漂浮在星空之中。正惊叹着，Loucivildo突然说十米开外的地方有鳄鱼。我们划着小船悄悄过去，他居然徒手从水里突然拎起一条小鳄鱼宝宝，和我们说完各种关于鳄鱼宝宝的知识之后，又温柔的把受惊的小鳄鱼放回了水里。

In the evenings, we ate and chatted in the cabin before dawn. When it was pitch dark outside, we'd row our boat to the wild. There were no traces of human civilizations in our eyesight. The Galaxy was flickering on the reflection of the lake. All the stars around me from head to toes made me feel like I was floating in the starry night. While I was enjoying my amazement, Loucivildo said there was a crocodile 10 meters away ahead of us. We rowed our boat surreptitiously in that direction. Out of nowhere, he lifted a baby crocodile from the water with his bare hands. After tellings us all kinds of knowledge about them, he then put the startled little crocodile back to the water like a gentleman.

一天傍晚，乘着小船回家的路上，遇到让我久久说不出话的美丽夕阳。天空被最后一丝光染成灿烂的红色时，一群水鸟从附近的树林里飞起，盘旋着在那片水域之上，一些还停在了我们的小船上。此起彼伏的叫声，翅膀在风里的声音，和自然里所有微妙的声响交织在一起，寂静又热闹。我惊叹着，Loucivildo仍然只是静静地坐在船头，轻轻地划着桨，黝黑的脸上带着微笑，在彩色的霞光的映衬下好像更黑了一点，但是又散发着一种充满生命力的，温柔的光。

One dawn, on our way back home on the boat, we met a sunset that was so stunning that it rendered me speechless. As the sky was being tainted crimson by the last beam of light, a crowd of birds flew from the nearest forest and hovered above the lake. Some even took a break on our boat. Noises were up here and down there: the rattling sound of the flapping wing joined all the other nuanced sounds from nature made a quiet and clamorous symphony. I was still immersed in my amazement, and Loucivildo was just sitting quietly at the bow, softly roaring the oars. His tanned face was decorated with a smile, looking even darker under the colorful sunset glow. However, his face was also effusing a soft light full of life.

那一个片段久久的留在我的脑海。That picture was imprinted on my mind.

晚上的小木屋没有电灯，也没有空调，湿热的空气和帐篷里的蚊子让想早早睡觉的我爬了起来。在厨房接水时看到Loucivildo，说着他就给我调了一杯“乡村姑娘”（巴西的一种鸡尾酒），我们就地坐在木屋门口喝着酒，看着茫茫的黑夜和天上的星星，有一句没一句的聊着。

There were no lights nor A/C in the cabin. The damp air and the mosquitoes woke me up from an early sleep. I saw Loucivildo when I was trying to get water. He fixed me up with a Caipirinha--a Brazilian cocktail. So we sat at the wooden door and chitchatted while looking at the dark wild and the starry night.

“这里好美，今天的夕阳好美。”我说道。"It's so beautiful here. And today's sunset." I said.
“嗯，是啊。我每天都可以看到这样的夕阳，去到雨林的各种地方，还能顺带赚些不错的钱，因为是和很多富裕国家的旅客，也会比当地一些普通工作工资高一些。每天过的都很简单，也能遇到世界各地很多不同的人，和他们成为朋友。”

"Yeah. I get to see sunsets like this every day and go to different spots of the rainforest. And I can make some money from this. Because the guests I receive are from wealthier countries, I made more money than average jobs here. Every day is simple. I meet people from all over the world and become friends with them."

“天呐，这不就是梦想中的生活吗！以后要是我也能在自然中这样生活那简直人生完满了。”我惊叹到。

"Oh my god, this is my dream life! If I could live such a life in the future, I’d ask nothing more." I exclaimed.

“……其实……我不想一直只做这个。我一直在攒钱，学习读写，以后想去城市里上大学。”Loucivildo有些羞涩地说。

"Well...to be honest...I don't want to just do this all my life. I've been saving up money and learning how to read and write. I want to go to a university in the city." Loucivildo said with shyness.

“嗯？是吗？你想学什么呢？有时候我觉得你知道的比城市的人们多多了。你可以在雨林里生存，在无人踏足的地方开路，在黑夜里看到远处的鳄鱼，看星星判断方向……”

"Yeah? What you wanna learn? Sometimes I think you know more than the city folks. You can survive in a rainforest, go to places that people have never been to, and spot the crocodiles from afar in the dark, and know your directions by looking at stars..."

Loucivildo喝了一口酒，看着远处的什么地方。Loucivildo had a sip of his drink, looking beyond.

“我想学生物学，想真正的了解我生长的这个地方是什么样的， 在这里的生命们是如何的，我要更好的保护它们。估计需要攒很久的钱，现在也还不知道能上哪所大学，但是这是我在努力的方向，是我想做的事情。”
"I want to study biology. I want to know what my hometown is really like how the lives living here are like. I want to better protect them. It will take some time for me to get enough money. I don't know which university I can go to. But this is something I'm working on. This is something I want to do."

我在星光中隐约看到他脸上温柔的微笑，好像是在对我笑，又好像是在对着雨林。想想他离真的能去到大学，似乎还有好远好长的一段看不清方向的路，但是这句被他轻轻说出的话里，有一种无比确凿的信念，好像到那里其实也很简单。我一下子有些说不出话来，只是点了点头。

In the dim light from the stars, I saw him gently smiling at me, or maybe at the forest. It seemed he was far away from realizing his college dream. The way there was blurry without clear direction. Yet, the words, which he uttered with a light tone, had a strong determination. It seemed that realizing this goal is also easy, even amidst all the uncertainties. I was a bit wordless, and just nodded. 

现在回想，他的那句话撼动了我对生命的认知。

In retrospect, his words changed some of my fundamental beliefs for life.  

我从小心里就有避世的渴望，想远离世界的纷扰，过安静自然简单的生活。在雨林里的那一周总觉得Loucivildo就过着我理想中的生活，他的笑容和言行安静纯粹，而且带着一种不急不慢的温柔和真实，在我眼里闪着奇妙的光。

Ever since young, I wanted to get away from the world, away from the hustles and bustles, so that I can live a simple and quiet life in nature. I felt that Loucivildo was living my dream life in the rainforest. He carries this sense of authenticity and gentleness in his quiet smiles and actions, glimmering in my eyes. 

他所渴望和思考的，不是如何保持这样的生活，或者让自己过得更好，而是怎样为那个地方多做点什么。也许我看到Loucivildo身上一切我喜欢的东西，更多来自于他内心对这个世界的爱与信念，而不只是我以为的，美丽广阔的雨林。

Yet what he longs for and thinks about, is not how to keep living this life or to make his own life better, but how to do more for that place. Maybe the things that I like about Loucivildo, come more from his love and belief for the world, instead of only from the boundless rainforest. 

几年后读到亚马逊热带雨林几天几夜的大火的新闻时，心痛的感觉要流泪了。再了解到更多大火背后政府的贪污腐败和大公司金钱利益的纠纷时，觉得这个世界真是糟糕透了。还有更多的冲突，战争，金钱，私欲，无知。也许所有努力都是徒劳，人类没救了，我就想找个可以避开所有这一切的地方安静的待着，不然某一天我也就不知不觉变成了个麻木而糟糕的人了。

A few years later, I read the news about the wildfire in Amazon. It pained me to tears. After learning about the political corruption and money struggles behind it, I thought this world was such a terrible place. There are even more conflicts, wars, selfishness, and ignorance. Maybe all the efforts are in vain and humanity can not be saved after all. I wanted to find a land, a piece of purity to avoid all these before I unwittingly turn into a terribly numb person one day. 

但每次想到Loucivildo的微笑，隐约又觉得看到了大火尽头的一束光，在照着被烧毁的森林中，一颗刚发芽的种子，在光里慢慢的茁壮生长。

However, every time I think about Loucivildo’s smile, I could almost see a beam of light at the end of the desperate fire. It shines upon a budding seed that grows in the seemingly dead forest.

它对我说，不要跑走，皓若，再继续做点什么吧！到达那个理想的地方，其实也可以很简单。

It says to me, don’t leave yet. Just do something. Reaching that place in your dream can also be easy. 

“我希望世界上的所有人没有冲突，共享和平。”

"I imagine all the people in the world should have no conflict. Peace for all."