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Who are you when the uniform comes off? When the relationship ends? When the bank account empties? Today's powerful exploration challenges us to look beyond the external identities we cling to and discover our authentic selves.

Many of us become deeply attached to our professional roles, introducing ourselves first by our job titles. I share my personal journey of identity crisis after leaving my firefighter paramedic career—how the admiration and status that came with the uniform became addictive, and how disorienting it felt when that identity fell away. This experience mirrors what happens to many when roles suddenly disappear through retirement, relationship changes, or career shifts.

We explore why we define ourselves through external markers: careers, relationships, accomplishments, and financial status. These false identities create a precarious foundation for self-worth, leaving us vulnerable when circumstances change. The "next thing" trap keeps us perpetually chasing the next promotion, purchase, or achievement, believing happiness lies just beyond. For first responders and others with elevated dopamine thresholds, this cycle becomes increasingly extreme yet never satisfying.

The beautiful opportunity emerges when these roles fall away. By shedding what Gabor Maté calls our addictions to external validation, we create space for our authentic selves to emerge. Discovering your "I am" beyond your "I do" brings profound freedom. Therapy, journaling, meditation, and spiritual practices can guide this journey of self-discovery.

This week, notice when you automatically define yourself by what you do. Pause and reflect: Who are you becoming? Not who you were or who others expect you to be, but your true, authentic self. As Lao Tzu wisely noted, "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." Join us around the fire as we shed our costumes and discover who we truly are.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.