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Who are you when the uniform comes off? When the relationship ends? When the bank account empties? Today's powerful exploration challenges us to look beyond the external identities we cling to and discover our authentic selves.

Many of us become deeply attached to our professional roles, introducing ourselves first by our job titles. I share my personal journey of identity crisis after leaving my firefighter paramedic career—how the admiration and status that came with the uniform became addictive, and how disorienting it felt when that identity fell away. This experience mirrors what happens to many when roles suddenly disappear through retirement, relationship changes, or career shifts.

We explore why we define ourselves through external markers: careers, relationships, accomplishments, and financial status. These false identities create a precarious foundation for self-worth, leaving us vulnerable when circumstances change. The "next thing" trap keeps us perpetually chasing the next promotion, purchase, or achievement, believing happiness lies just beyond. For first responders and others with elevated dopamine thresholds, this cycle becomes increasingly extreme yet never satisfying.

The beautiful opportunity emerges when these roles fall away. By shedding what Gabor Maté calls our addictions to external validation, we create space for our authentic selves to emerge. Discovering your "I am" beyond your "I do" brings profound freedom. Therapy, journaling, meditation, and spiritual practices can guide this journey of self-discovery.

This week, notice when you automatically define yourself by what you do. Pause and reflect: Who are you becoming? Not who you were or who others expect you to be, but your true, authentic self. As Lao Tzu wisely noted, "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." Join us around the fire as we shed our costumes and discover who we truly are.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

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Why do we cling so tightly to the very things that cause us pain? It's a question that cuts to the heart of the human experience, and one that reveals a startling truth: we often become addicted to our own suffering. 

I share how we frequently choose "the hell we know over the heaven we don't" because our subconscious mind perceives familiar pain as safe, even when it's destroying us. This isn't about self-sabotage—it's about how our brains are wired for survival and predictability, even at the cost of our wellbeing.

The suffering addiction shows up everywhere—in toxic relationships we can't leave, substances we use to numb out, chaotic work environments we perpetuate, and those mental loops telling us we're not enough. As Thich Nhat Hanh wisely observed, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering out of fear of the unknown." Our ego, desperate for control, keeps us trapped in these patterns.

But there's hope in understanding this cycle. Your suffering has a message—it's trying to teach you something. The challenge lies in being willing to get "sick of being sick" enough to make meaningful changes. Through awareness, acceptance without shame, and intentional thought patterns, we can begin breaking free. 

The transformative visualization exercise at the end guides you through identifying and compassionately releasing the weights of suffering you've been carrying. Remember that healing isn't a quick fix or hard reset—it's about small, consistent shifts that accumulate into profound change.

Ready to explore what's on the other side of the familiar pain you've been carrying? Listen now, and discover that you aren't broken by your suffering—you're becoming who you were always meant to be.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

💌 FREEBIE Mindset to Mantras https://green-bird-21921.myflodesk.com/mindsettomantra

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What if the root of your stress and anxiety could be addressed through understanding? In this enlightening episode, we tackle the complex interplay of stress and fear that many of us face daily. With staggering statistics revealing that 70% of Americans grapple with stress regularly, it is time to confront these feelings rather than allow them to control our lives.

We dive deep into the science behind stress—distinguishing between acute and chronic forms and highlighting how they affect our mental well-being. Moreover, we reflect on the common stressors in our lives, from financial pressures and relationships to health concerns and the feeling of isolation. By examining these contributors, we empower you to take a proactive approach towards managing stress effectively.

Throughout our conversation, we emphasize the importance of replacing fear-driven thoughts with a mindset oriented towards abundance and control. Learn practical strategies that encompass better sleep, nourishing nutrition, engaging fun activities, and the necessity of community support. Each tactic is designed to help you reclaim your peace and joy in everyday life.

Join our community as we emphasize that although stress and fear are part of the human experience, we can learn to manage them. Cultivating an abundance mindset can lead to personal freedom and empowerment. Tune in, and let’s navigate this journey together! Your feedback, thoughts, and experiences matter to us, so please connect with us, share your insights, and be part of our growing community.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

💌 FREEBIE Mindset to Mantras https://green-bird-21921.myflodesk.com/mindsettomantra

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What drives first responders to keep going in the face of adversity? Join me, Ashlea, as we explore this profound question through the wisdom of Viktor Frankl, Martin Seligman, and Dr. Joe Dispenza. Discover how understanding our "why" can ignite passion and courage, transforming our roles and preventing burnout. These thinkers share insights into resilience and purpose, offering guidance on how to integrate our passions and talents into our professional lives, with empathy and strength leading the way.

Embrace the full spectrum of happiness, from the simple pleasures in life to the deeper fulfillment found in service and purpose. We'll unravel the concepts of the pleasant, good, and meaningful life, suggesting that true engagement comes from aligning our strengths with activities that bring us joy. By doing so, we can achieve flow states and profound satisfaction, ultimately leading to a life enriched by purpose and service to others. You'll learn practical ways to bring more meaning into your life, enhancing your well-being and presence in everyday experiences.

Explore the power of the mind and body connection for healing and resilience. As first responders often find themselves in high-stress environments, unprocessed trauma can have significant impacts. Through the lens of neuroplasticity, we'll examine how consciously rewiring thoughts and emotions can lead to better mental health outcomes. From mindfulness and meditation to releasing trauma stored in the body, we discuss tools that can help redefine our identity beyond our professional roles. This episode invites you to share your personal "why" and foster a community of growth and purpose.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

💌 FREEBIE Mindset to Mantras https://green-bird-21921.myflodesk.com/mindsettomantra

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Pam's journey into emergency medical services started with an unplanned decision that blossomed into a nearly three-decade-long career. What began as a spontaneous leap into an EMT class has evolved into a remarkable life in EMS, from working with MedTrans Ambulance and Pride Mark Paramedics to soaring the skies as a flight nurse. Pam’s experiences offer a powerful narrative on the impact of small choices and the profound influence of family, as her own children pursue careers in service-oriented roles, inspired by their mother and father's dedication to community service.

Our conversation with Pam reveals her reflections on work-life balance, an area where her children have naturally excelled. Pam shares her pride in their ability to set boundaries and prioritize personal time, a skill she admits was elusive during her own career. The cultural shifts in workplace expectations have opened doors to healthier lifestyles, making retirement a bittersweet transition. Together, we tackle the challenges of finding identity post-career and explore the emotional journey that accompanies stepping away from a life defined by service.

This episode also tackles the pressing topic of mental health support in high-pressure professions like healthcare and emergency services. Pam advocates for a cultural transformation that integrates mental health care into Workman’s Compensation, ensuring that financial burdens do not deter healing. Her insights highlight the necessity of a supportive environment that prioritizes well-being, balancing the demands of a first responder career with personal life. Through her story, Pam underscores the importance of self-care and finding fulfillment beyond the uniform, offering advice for both current and future generations in demanding fields.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

💌 FREEBIE Mindset to Mantras https://green-bird-21921.myflodesk.com/mindsettomantra

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Unlock the mystery of the fawn response, a survival mechanism that might be influencing your relationships more than you realize. Can the art of appeasement be a hidden threat to your authenticity? Join us as we dissect how inviting a metaphorical lion to tea might be more than just a quirky metaphor—it’s a coping strategy that can lead to codependency and self-abandonment. This episode promises to shed light on the fawn response and its impact on maintaining genuine connections without sacrificing self-honesty.

We also untangle the complex dance between authenticity and attachment, driven by early interactions with caretakers. Have you ever felt torn between being true to yourself and maintaining connections? We explore how these ingrained patterns, shaped by our nervous system, can create anxiety and hinder genuine relationships. Our conversation provides insights into reprogramming these attachment styles, balancing instinct with learned behaviors, and creating a safe space for true connection.

Lastly, discover the connection between physical health, mental well-being, and the crucial role of boundaries and self-care. From the surprising effects of dietary choices on your mental state to strategies for managing stress with nervous system-specific tools, we cover it all. Learn how to manage your stress "bucket" and embrace self-regulation practices that foster independence and resilience. Join us in a journey towards understanding, healing, and ultimately thriving in healthier, more authentic relationships.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

💌 FREEBIE Mindset to Mantras https://green-bird-21921.myflodesk.com/mindsettomantra

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What if the very mechanism meant to protect you could also hold you back? Join us as we unravel the intricate dance between the body's freeze response and functional freeze, vivid reflections of our physiological battle when faced with overwhelming stress and trauma. Picture a gazelle frozen under a predator's gaze—it's a vivid metaphor for how our own nervous systems react under threat, toggling between activity and immobility. Through personal experiences and vivid storytelling, we confront the daunting interplay of our sympathetic and parasympathetic systems, often leaving us teetering between action and shutdown. We also navigate the challenging realm of dissociation, shedding light on its spectrum from mild detachment to total disconnection.

For those on the frontline, like our first responders, the struggle is doubly intense. These everyday heroes often walk a line between high-stakes alertness at work and a numbing void at home. We dissect how such patterns can entrap them in cycles of avoidance, from doom scrolling to substance use. Recognizing the early signs of burnout—chronic fatigue and dwindling drive—is critical. Armed with techniques like tactical breathing and meditation, there's hope in reclaiming one's well-being. Tune in to gain insights and actionable strategies to better manage these physiological responses, keeping you engaged and connected with life.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

Send us a text

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

💌 FREEBIE Mindset to Mantras https://green-bird-21921.myflodesk.com/mindsettomantra

Send us a text

What if the heroes who rush toward danger need saving themselves? Join us as Pete, a former sheriff deputy, SWAT member, FTO, and fire arms instructor in Colorado, opens up about his arduous journey through trauma, mental health struggles, and recovery. With service spanning over a decade, Pete shares his deeply personal story, from a head injury at 18 months old to the relentless challenges faced in law enforcement. His struggle with chronic sleep issues led to alcohol addiction, a battle he eventually conquered, illuminating the often unseen mental health battles that first responders endure.

In our conversation, Pete courageously tackles the stigma of PTSD and prescription medication, revealing how he navigated these challenges while maintaining a demanding professional life. Discover the difficult decisions he made, such as taking a leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act, and his experiences with medications like Lexapro and Xanax. As perceptions of mental health slowly evolve, Pete's story underscores the critical need for awareness and support in professional environments, offering hope and inspiration for change.

Connect with Pete at AMS Foundation
https://asmfoundation.com/

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.

💌 FREEBIE Mindset to Mantras https://green-bird-21921.myflodesk.com/mindsettomantra

Send us a text

Discover the hidden connections within your brain and how they shape your responses to stress and trauma. Ever wondered why certain situations trigger intense emotions out of nowhere? We explore the concept of emotional flashbacks and neurotags, revealing how past experiences intertwine with present triggers to ignite these powerful reactions. Through relatable scenarios, we explain the science behind this phenomenon, demonstrating why the phrase "neurons that fire together wire together" holds so much significance in understanding our emotional responses.

We delve into the dual nature of anger, contrasting the destructive force of a hyperactive fight response with the healthy expression of anger. By highlighting the physical and emotional toll of staying in a perpetual state of heightened alert, especially on those like first responders, we emphasize the importance of completing the stress cycle. Through vivid analogies and real-life examples, we illustrate how unexpressed anger can become lodged within the body, manifesting as chronic stress, memory issues, and even physical pain. Our discussion equips you with insights to recognize these patterns and the potential for profound change.

Lastly, we embark on a journey toward healing, offering hope and strategies for those trapped in an overactive fight state. Understanding the signs—such as controlling behaviors, insomnia, and hypervigilance—can be the first step toward reclaiming your wellbeing. While these patterns might feel ingrained, they are not unchangeable. We share tools and encouragement to choose healthier pathways, emphasizing the continuous work required to rewire our nervous systems. Before wrapping up, we provide a sneak peek into our next discussion, where we'll shift focus to the freeze response, examining its complexities and impact. Join us as we navigate these intricate layers of the human experience.

Welcome to Sit Around the Fire! https://sitaroundthefire.org

Healing happens in community.