Today your matron saints of spice are diving into book three of Stacia Stark’s Kingdom of Lies series, where Prisca is processing trauma while everyone tells her she needs to grieve right now, and we’re realizing the pendulum on grief has swung from “suffer in silence” to “perform your sadness publicly or you’re doing it wrong.”

We’re unpacking how Regner’s sleeper cell spiders mirror church manipulation tactics, why spiritual gift assessments are basically just helping churches find free labor, and how the terror of “missing God’s will” kept us from making literally any decision in high school.

Plus, we’re getting real about how trying to resurrect your dead boyfriend is the same kind of control as exploiting people through intimacy—even when your intentions are really good.

Topics Covered:

* Why delayed grief is valid and sometimes you literally cannot stop to process because you know it’ll take two weeks of couch-rotting and you don’t have two weeks right now

* How Regner weaponizing intimacy through his spider network is exactly what happens in church spaces with “sweet girl coffee dates” and psychological warfare disguised as community

* The uncomfortable parallel between exploiting people for evil ends versus trying to resurrect your mate for love—because control is control even when we think we’re justified

* The wild difference between shoulder-tapping manipulation (”I need you to do this”) versus developmental invitation (”I see this gift in you, would you like to grow it?”)

* How the hourglass amplifies Prisca’s gifts for good or bad, just like our own gifts can build up or tear down depending on how we wield them—and why fundamentalism demonizes tools instead of cultivating discernment

* The pressure to choose your “one calling” and how God’s will actually has more to do with daily choices and character formation than finding the single perfect college/job/spouse

* God as a God of restoration means you get to start over—resurrection life isn’t about getting it perfect the first time, and sometimes Abraham maybe shouldn’t have tried to sacrifice Isaac at all

The river of grief flows where it needs to flow, spiritual gifts without character development just create narcissistic leaders, and God’s will is big enough to handle all your decisions—not just the one narrow path you’re terrified of missing.

Timestamps:

02:00 Policing Grief: From Silent Suffering to Mandatory Processing

06:00 Why Delayed Grief Is Valid and Sometimes Necessary

10:00 Lorian’s Grief vs Prisca’s Grief: Different Rivers, Different Timelines

13:00 Regner’s Spiders and Church Manipulation Through Intimacy

16:00 Control for Good Ends Is Still Control: The Resurrection Problem

20:00 How Gifts Become Weapons Depending on Who Wields Them

23:00 Spiritual Gift Assessments as Free Labor Recruitment Tools

28:00 Shoulder Tapping: Manipulation vs Developmental Invitation

32:00 Why Churches Need Developmental Pipelines, Not Crisis Recruiting

36:00 Prisca Stepping Into Destiny: Fate vs Free Will vs Choice

40:00 The Anxiety of “Missing God’s Will” in High School

44:00 God’s Will Isn’t One Narrow Path You Can Accidentally Miss

46:00 Permission to Start Over: Resurrection Life and Restoration

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