Today your Matron Saints of Spice are wrapping up Stacia Stark’s Kingdom of Lies series with book four, where Prisca finally gets her crown and we’re learning that pre-disappointment is just stealing from yourself twice—a phrase that will now live rent-free in our heads forever.

We’re unpacking how defiant joy is fuel for sustainable resistance (not escapist toxic positivity), why social media has become a machine of pre-disappointment, and how building actual alliances for mutual flourishing is way harder than fantasy books make it look.

Plus, we’re getting real about complex family dynamics when your relatives choose racism over relationship, and why understanding someone’s trauma doesn’t mean you have to excuse their harm or sacrifice your safety.

Topics Covered:

* How pre-disappointment means you’re just disappointed twice when the bad thing happens anyway

* The difference between defiant joy as sustainable fuel versus weaponized joy as disconnection and distraction—because hospital chaplains need bread-baking Mondays to keep showing up for dying patients

* How evangelical teenagers were taught that if you weren’t miserable enough you weren’t taking faith seriously, and why permission to feel joy is actually radical healing

* Social media as a pre-disappointment machine where everyone races to ruin movies and break bad news first instead of spurring each other toward goodness

* Stoking the fires of courage daily instead of waiting until you need bravery, because you can’t protect reserves forever—sometimes you have to exercise the muscles

* The problem with political alliances that sacrificed nuance for oversimplified platforms

* How sharing a vision for mutual flourishing matters more than agreeing on tactics, and why we’re bad at painting specific positive pictures because individualism makes fear easier to weaponize

* Complex family dynamics when relatives choose harm over healing, and how understanding generational trauma doesn’t mean excusing current damage or sacrificing your safety

* The difference between biblical sibling language as security versus weapon—belonging in God’s family shouldn’t be contingent or used to manipulate your behavior

Bravery is a choice you build daily, joy is defiance against despair, and you deserve relationships where safety is prioritized over control. And God’s family isn’t supposed to hold your belonging hostage. 👑⚔️✨

Timestamps:

02:00 Pre-Disappointment and Stealing From Yourself Twice

06:00 Defiant Joy as Fuel vs Weaponized Joy as Distraction 10:00 Social Media as a Pre-Disappointment Machine

13:00 Permission to Feel Joy After Evangelical Misery Culture

17:00 Stoking Courage Daily vs Protecting Reserves Forever

22:00 Building Alliances: Why We Can’t Find Modern Examples

26:00 Pro-Life Coalition and Women Who Don’t See What’s Coming

30:00 Shared Vision for Flourishing vs Tactical Disagreements

33:00 Beloved Community and the Kingdom of God on Earth

37:00 Why We’re Bad at Painting Specific Positive Futures

40:00 Complex Family Dynamics and Navigating Harm

45:00 Understanding Trauma Without Excusing Current Damage

48:00 Sibling Language as Security vs Manipulation Tool

52:00 Fiction Shows Us Truth When Reality Is Too Close

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