In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses how to let go of the emotional reactions we tie to our expectations of other people. She introduces four tips on how to stop trying to control others and details how letting go of that control will free us from expending energy on emotional reactions to the choices of others. 

Cindy’s four key pieces of advice on letting go of control are deceptively simple. The first is to let them be. The second is that happiness is a choice. Third is to control what you can control. And fourth is to stop arguing with reality. In examining these four points, Cindy details exactly how we take on other people’s adherence or failure to do what we want them to by making their choices carry emotional weight in us. She explains that what we really need is to take responsibility for our own emotions and realize that expectations shouldn’t have feelings attached to them.

Through the exploration of all four tips, Cindy stresses that the main focus we should have is on ourselves, on the responsibility we have for our own choices, and on choosing not to tie our emotional happiness to the expectations we place on others. Expectations, while sometimes necessary as a parent or boss, carry consequences but should not control our feelings. She urges listeners to think about the rewards of delayed gratification by letting go of needing to feel good about situations and responses immediately. 

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide for Let Them Be Who They Are

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