In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the invisible barrier of our own thinking that can be in the way of progressing in our careers. Our brains are wired for self-preservation, not bold career leaps, so even though we say we want impact or recognition, we are likely being steered away from risk and discomfort by our thoughts. So what do we do? How do we identify this kind of thinking and challenge those patterns? Cindy describes what the self-preservation thinking looks like, how to develop our self-awareness, and ways to start to take risks in our careers.  

When we understand that our brains are primarily wired for survival, we can we can start to see how staying safe can often also mean staying stuck. Safe avoids discomfort, keeps us playing small, and does not like making others uncomfortable. Our self-preservation can show up as roadblocks like perfectionism or overthinking. Cindy urges us to get honest about both our strengths and struggles so we can begin dismantling the barriers unconsciously holding us back. Once we identify what we’re struggling with, Cindy offers the follow-up question of, “What’s standing in the way of us working on them?”  

Self-awareness is not self-blame. We aren’t responsible for every roadblock in our way. But self-awareness lets us take back control so we can empower ourselves by working with both our brilliance and blind spots. Cindy shares some steps to take. Describe ourselves with five words. Then ask what five words would friends or family choose for us. This outside perspective is key to a balanced view of ourselves. When we can identify where we’re holding back, we learn to let discomfort shape us into something greater. We can step out of the safe thinking and into something challenging.   

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Rethinking What's Holding You Back
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger examines micromanagement at work and when it might turn from a misguided attempt at mentorship to a more sinister form of intentional misdirection. In matrix environments, roles and responsibilities are fluid, and we tend to get input from all directions. We want to please people, so we internalize every correction as encouragement, even when it isn’t. Micromanagement is subtle but powerful. Cindy demonstrates how to identify it and how to break the pattern with a radical shift in focus. 

Many of us were raised, deliberately or not, to be grateful for any attention we receive, especially in environments where women are underrepresented. We’re taught that feedback is an opportunity we should be grateful for, even if it’s tone deaf or controlling. Cindy wants us to break this pattern by asking ourselves some key questions. Does this expectation align with the career we want to build? Is this feedback helpful, or does it just maintain the status quo?  Is this real value? We need to put ourselves first for a change and be intentional about where our time and effort go. We need to not let micromanagement become our norm.   

When someone is overly involved in our work, it’s not always seen as a red flag. We assume it’s part of the process, and we work harder, which is exactly why micromanagement works. Cindy explains how awareness is our way out. We need to notice how constantly accessible we keep ourselves. When were we acting out of fear instead of alignment? Setting boundaries, being selective, communicating assertively, and practicing saying no calmly and clearly are all ways we reclaim our power and stop letting micromanagement control us.   

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Escaping the Micromanagement Trap
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how our natural instinct to feel safe can turn into a trap by silencing our bold ideas and keeping us in a role that no longer challenges us. She differentiates between blowing up our lives and doing small low stakes change experiments to reconnect to intuition. Stability is inviting but it can lead to too much safety. Cindy offers a way to push ourselves past that instinct for predictable comfort into discovering new possibilities. 

Safety feels good until it doesn’t. It feels like we’re in control until one day it starts to feel like numbness and being boxed in. But how do we know when our safety has actually become complacency? Cindy has three clues to guide our assessment: 1) We constantly ask for validation or permission before making a move, 2) We feel safe but also stuck, and 3) We find ourselves downsizing our goals to make other people comfortable. Stability has its place but financial and emotional security should be a foundation, not a ceiling.    

Redefining safety is key. Safety doesn’t mean avoiding discomfort, it means building trust in our own ability to respond to discomfort. Cindy encourages us to be willing to get a little uncomfortable in order to experiment and explore in our careers. She points out that momentum matters more than motivation, since motivation can be fickle. We need to also question our need for approval. Following Cindy’s guidance opens a path to flexibility and real growth potential. It reframes discomfort not as a danger, but simply uncertainty. Uncertainty can be normalized and anticipated. That’s how we grow.   

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Living More Boldly
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the belief that if one generation of women endured suffering in order to succeed, the next generation must too. Some women, consciously or not, believe that hardship is a necessary rite of passage. They gatekeep and end up reinforcing a toxic culture instead of paving the way for women coming up after them to succeed with fewer obstacles. Cindy looks at how to break this cycle, how to redefine the goal as not just enduring the hardships of the system, but to change the system. With this in mind, a future of thriving, not simply surviving, can exist between generations in the workplace.  

The fact that some women seem intent on ensuring future generations endure the same suffering they did comes from surviving the continued traumas of toxic workplaces. It’s a type of internalized misogyny disguised as high standards, making the bar one of how much abuse can be suffered. Cindy makes the case for dismantling this cycle because it’s doing more collective harm than good. We can choose to energize the next generation instead of exhausting them. Resources are not as limited as we’ve been led to believe. Women can win and be celebrated by each other without anyone losing.    

True leadership isn’t about exerting power over anyone. Cindy stresses that it’s about building something sustainable together. So, how do we break this ingrained cycle and build something better? Cindy offers five ways to start: 1. Choose mentorship over gatekeeping, 2. Redefine what strength looks like, 3. Celebrate collective wins, 4. Push for structural change, and 5. Create new measures of readiness and performance. Cindy asks us to use our survival stories not as weapons, but as reasons to lead differently and mentor generously.   

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Breaking the Cycle
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the idea that shifting our attention away from self-criticism can lead to a career that is both sustainable and futureproof. This happens through intentional, visible effort and starts with recognizing that momentum is about reclaiming minutes and tracking effort over perfection. We all have those voices in our heads criticizing what we do, but Cindy emphasizes that we can train ourselves to celebrate progress instead of wallowing in self-criticism. And it’s that celebration and retraining our use of time that Cindy says leads us to a better career.  

The small wins are what help us gather evidence of our overall progress. Cindy advises writing these wins down. One thing that went right. Speaking up in a meeting. Completing a tough email. This isn’t about building a highlight reel for social media, but rather collecting career fuel meant only for ourselves. We need to see our own progress to understand that momentum builds through the tiny, continuous actions, rather than in giant leaps and bounds.  

We train our brains to prioritize disappointment over progress when we only focus on the problems and obstacles. So acknowledging the wins and progress is retraining our brains to seek out the positive instead. To make time for this new list, look for all the wasted minutes we can reclaim: during our commute, standing in line, waiting for a meeting to start. It only takes minutes to scan our small wins and list more that we can accomplish. Then, Cindy says, when the time comes to reach for promotion, we are ready to express our value, our worth, our growth.   

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Gathering the Proof of Your Capabilities
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger examines the difference between actionable feedback and constant validation. While it’s always wonderful to get compliments on work, and those are necessary to boost morale, seeking only positive praise will inhibit meaningful growth. It’s the honest critique and useful feedback that helps us course correct and sharpen our strengths. Cindy discusses how to break free of compliment-only cravings to seek out and embrace critical feedback for growth. She lays out a plan for obtaining the right kind of input.  

Encouragement is essential for building confidence and keeping us motivated through the initial learning curves in our careers. But as the stakes rise, compliments become less helpful. We start prioritizing feeling good over getting better, and that leads to a career plateau. We all have blind spots about ourselves and our own skills, ingrained habits holding us back that can only be identified by someone outside ourselves. Cindy stresses the importance of this honest, outside feedback in helping us develop.

Not all feedback is constructive, however. We need to ensure we’re getting actionable, thoughtful critiques. How do we ask for that kind of feedback? Cindy shares five strategic moves with us: 1. Be crystal clear in our requests, 2. Ask specific questions, 3. Make it as safe as possible for others to tell us the truth, 4. Listen without defensiveness, and 5. Act on what we learn. She also identifies seven common pitfalls to avoid when seeking feedback. Armed with the advice and guidance Cindy offers in this episode, we can all head into work to ask for the input we need for advancement.  

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Choosing Growth Over Comfort
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses negativity bias, the tendency we have to look for what’s going wrong when we’re in an environment that doesn’t affirm or value our contributions. This focus on the negative isn’t out of pessimism, but is a survival strategy. However, the more we allow ourselves to focus on the negative, the more it feels like the truth. Cindy examines how this happens and what it takes to change our mindset and challenge the negative patterns. Breaking free of self-limiting narratives is possible, and Cindy explains how it’s done.  

Negativity is rarely something we consciously choose. It’s a survival technique that becomes a default way of thinking over time. The first step to breaking the pattern, therefore, is acknowledging how easy it is to focus on the negative. Cindy addresses how the habit forms and what we unconsciously do to feed it. When we understand how we’re responding to negative input or a toxic environment, we can identify where the self-doubt takes root. She presents the idea of shifting the pattern of our input to reframe our mindset. 

Cindy’s advice on breaking the cycle of negativity includes making a choice not to let our challenges be the only story we tell ourselves. By giving ourselves permission to believe that outcomes other than negative ones are possible, we start to retrain our brains to identify opportunity as well as risk. Cindy talks about the pitfalls of internalized comparison and the glorification of suffering for suffering’s sake. She breaks down how these add to negative bias and work against our success. Instead, she advises giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt so can alter our own mindset and outlook.  

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Breaking Free from the Negativity Loop
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the power of words and why language is about more than communication. The words we choose shape how we view ourselves and what we believe is possible. By using more empowering words, we can open ourselves to new options and reclaim our sense of agency. Cindy offers insight into how different words impact our mindset and how to go about reframing our thoughts from a more positive perspective. It’s not just about the meaning of our words, but the words themselves.  

The smallest, seemingly most casual words often carry the most weight. Words like can’t, won’t, don’t, and should. We think they’re harmless because we use them out of habit. But Cindy points out how the habits behind their use shape our behavior, confidence and careers over time. She examines how the words subtly mire us in limiting beliefs and suggests ways in which we can examine the circumstances that created the word habits and reframe them into a more positive light. 

Naming our experiences correctly is an important step towards healing from the limiting words we’ve been using. Cindy stresses that we don’t have to find perfect words, we don’t always have to sound polished, we just need to state the truth of our experience. She offers five ways to put this word into action: 1) Replace ‘but’ with ‘and’, 2) Trade ‘should’ for ‘could’, 3) Speak in terms of options and opportunities, 4) Notice our language without judgment, and 5) Reframe our past experiences with ‘even though’ language. She encourages us to intentionally choose words that build us up, rather than tear us down.  

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Choosing Your Words More Carefully
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the invisible load of anxiety, stress, and self-imposed pressure that high-achieving women often carry under their calm and capable exteriors. What the world sees as strength hides exhaustion from trying to stay ahead of anxiety by never sitting still. Cindy breaks down how to recognize when constant busyness is a coping mechanism, how to separate stress from anxiety, and the key to reclaiming control over mind, body, and career. 

While from the outside we may appear superhuman by being perpetually in motion, that relentless busyness often masks deep-seated anxiety. Our culture has instructed us that the goal is to have it all together, to operate at a high level under pressure. But what about the unseen anxiety that exterior composure hides? Cindy names three steps to breaking the anxiety loop: 1) Get curious about symptoms, 2) Separate sensation from fear, and 3) Practice sitting with discomfort. 

Feeling stressed or anxious is not a sign we’re broken. Discomfort doesn’t mean we’re failing. Cindy encourages us to get familiar with our body signals in order to remove the fear and take back our power. She teaches us about awareness, how to override our stress responses, and the power of redirecting past or future worry back to the present moment. Cindy explores how we can learn to find moments of true presence and how to show up intentionally so anxiety is not running the show. Her guidance helps to identify anxiety for what it is and demystify it so we can get comfortable in our own skin and embrace stillness.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Recognizing When You're Masking Anxiety
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the idea that our emotions are not just reactions to what happens around us, but are conscious and intentional choices we have control over. If we don’t consciously choose how to feel, we leave it to chance and find ourselves at the whim of spiralling emotions. Cindy proposes steering away from fear as our default and instead setting intentions for our emotions to learn how to anticipate best-case scenarios instead of worst-case ones. Instead of our emotions being at the mercy of our surroundings, we can instruct ourselves on how to feel. 

We believe that choosing how we feel means ignoring real problems and pretending everything is fine. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Cindy is clear that choosing our emotions is not about fake positivity or just gritting our teeth through the bad times, it’s about claiming ownership over our internal experience. So, how do we do that? By intentionally choosing what we want to feel and setting an emotional anchor for whatever situation arises. 

Cindy shares four practical strategies to help us take control of our emotions: 1) Start each day by consciously choosing how we want to feel, 2) Reframe fear and criticism immediately, 3) Counter every worst-case scenario with a best-case, and 4) Use intentional compartmentalization. By deciding how we’ll feel, we learn to avoid our brain’s default setting of predicting danger. Choosing how to feel is a power move, not wishful thinking. Cindy’s advice gives us the groundwork we need to start taking control of our emotions.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Not Leaving It To Chance
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email