Cindy Esliger explores how to tell the difference between paying our dues and getting stuck with dead-end work that does nothing to move our careers forward. Many talented professionals automatically accept the note-taking, coffee runs, meeting setup, and other busy work because being agreeable feels safer than pushing back. But simply working harder is rarely the answer. Cindy explains why our automatic yes can become a career blind spot and how learning to make more deliberate decisions about where we spend our time can help us move toward the strategic, visible work we actually want. 

Not every unglamorous assignment is a trap. Sometimes doing work we would rather avoid builds trust, develops an important skill or relationship, or gives us visibility with someone who influences where we end up next. Cindy offers a three-question filter for deciding whether to accept, negotiate, or decline an assignment: 1. Does it build a skill or relationship we are actually going to need later? 2. Is it visible to someone who actually influences where we end up next? 3. Would saying no here cost us more politically than just doing it this one time? She also uses the metaphor of solving a maze from the end rather than the beginning. By getting clear on where we want to go and working backward, it becomes easier to recognize the detours and traps before we encounter them.

Once a task really is identified as a dead end, Cindy shares seven ways to decline it or minimize our involvement while protecting important workplace relationships: 1. Reframe instead of flatly refusing, 2. Know the difference between our manager’s top priority and someone else’s request, 3. Offer a reduced-scope version instead of full ownership, 4. Redirect to the right owner, 5. Turn the pattern into data, not a complaint, 6. Ask directly for the visible work, and 7. Manage the emotional residue in real time. The goal is not one dramatic boundary-setting moment. It is small, repeated actions that compound over time because consistency beats intensity. The no and the ask are a pair. By setting one boundary, asking for the work we actually want, and letting go of the identity of the reliable yes person, we can begin making room for something new. 

Key Moments:

00:01:34 Why Soft Skills Matter for Career Growth

00:04:05 Breaking the Habit of Automatically Saying Yes

00:07:04 Paying Your Dues or Accepting a Dead End Task?

00:07:47 Three Questions to Evaluate the Next Request

00:09:51 Working Backward From the Career Goal

00:12:38 Knowing When to Persevere and When to Let Go

00:13:59 How the Safety of Busy Work Keeps Us Stuck

00:14:48 Seven Ways to Strategically Say No

00:15:19 Reframing a No as a Negotiation

00:16:44 Turning a Pattern of Busy Work Into Data

00:17:31 Pairing the Strategic No With a Direct Ask

00:18:21 Building Confidence Through Small Assertive Actions

00:19:47 Setting One Boundary to Start Changing the Pattern

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to the Strategic No
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses why so many of us move from one task to the next without stopping to acknowledge what we have accomplished. Big workplace wins can be inconsistent. Promotions get delayed, exciting projects get shelved, and sometimes the scoreboard just doesn’t reflect the effort we’re putting into our work. When that happens, small wins matter more, not less. Cindy explains why tracking an accomplishment isn’t the same as celebrating it and why deciding in advance how to treat ourselves when a win shows up can help us stop and appreciate it instead of letting it evaporate into thin air.

Waiting for someone else to notice our good work can leave us feeling invisible, so Cindy encourages us to make our accomplishments visible on purpose and become more comfortable saying what we do well. She also challenges us to shift from focusing only on outcomes to recognizing effort-focused wins, because we can control our level of effort every day. A daily or weekly ritual of asking, “What’s one thing that went right?” can train our brains to look for evidence that things are working instead of focusing only on what’s broken or unfinished. Small wins build big careers, and acknowledging them isn’t a detour from productivity. It’s part of what makes the next stretch of effort possible and much more enjoyable.

Work, however, is only one part of an integrated life, and Cindy reminds us that balance doesn’t require giving everything equal amounts of time and energy. What matters more is alignment, making intentional choices about the most important things in every moment, and accepting the trade-offs that come with those choices. Cindy identifies seven areas where we can look for small victories: 1. Mental health, 2. Physical health, 3. Social health, 4. Intellectual health, 5. Financial health, 6. Spiritual health, and 7. Professional health. When a workplace win is scarce, that doesn’t mean a win isn’t available today. It may simply mean we need to look somewhere else for it, then actually celebrate it when we find it.

Key Moments:

00:00:07 Why We Overlook Our Small Wins

00:01:25 When the Big Wins Are on Hold

00:02:43 Stop Waiting for Someone Else to Notice

00:05:15 Shift From Outcome-Focused to Effort-Focused Wins

00:06:39 Create a Daily or Weekly Win Ritual

00:08:07 Your Job Is Not Your Whole Identity

00:09:29 Choose Priorities and Make Intentional Trade-Offs

00:11:59 Focus on What You Are Gaining

00:13:21 Seven Areas to Find Small Victories

00:18:54 Pick One Small Win and Actually Celebrate It

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Recognizing Your Progress
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores what progress really looks like after a career setback, especially when confidence has taken a hit. Not getting the promotion, opportunity, or yes we were hoping for can quickly turn disappointment into a much harsher opinion about what the outcome says about us. Cindy explains why the real obstacle is often not a skills or knowledge gap, but a belief gap. Limiting beliefs can turn one setback into a reason to play small, stay under the radar, and stop putting ourselves forward. The challenge is learning to separate the facts of what happened from the story we build.

Progress in a low-confidence season rarely looks like the traditional workplace scoreboard. Cindy reframes progress as how quickly and skillfully we recover from setbacks, learn from them, and take the next deliberate action. That means processing disappointment without turning it into self-punishment, recognizing dysfunctional systems and bias without internalizing them, and building a private record of our own growth. A setback can teach us that we need more visible sponsorship, better communication about our accomplishments, or greater clarity about what success actually requires. Tracking our recovery time, lessons learned, actions taken, and the ways we have become faster, calmer, and clearer gives us an internal scoreboard we can trust, even when external recognition is slow to arrive.

Confidence is not a prerequisite for action. It’s often the result of it. Cindy encourages us to stop waiting until we feel ready and instead focus on small actions that allow confidence to compound quietly over time. She also explains why both emotion and logic have a role in creating momentum. Emotion lights the match and logic builds the fire pit around it. Real progress might mean catching a limiting belief before it becomes a decision, sitting with discomfort instead of retreating, putting a lesson into action, shortening our recovery time, or doing one small, brave thing before we feel ready. None of that may appear on someone else's highlight reel, but it still counts as progress.

Key Moments:

00:00:07 What Progress Really Looks Like When Confidence Takes a Hit

00:01:35 The Belief Gap That Keeps Us Playing Small

00:04:33 Processing Disappointment Without Beating Yourself Up

00:07:22 Recognizing Workplace Bias Without Internalizing It

00:08:40 Redefining Progress and Tracking Your Resilience

00:12:44 Confidence Comes After Action

00:15:41 Emotion Lights the Match and Logic Builds the Fire Pit

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Cindy Esliger tackles one of the most uncomfortable questions to ask when workplace conflict keeps following us: what if some of it is us? When the same kinds of breakdowns happen with different teams, managers, or companies, it is tempting to build a case for why everyone else is the problem. Cindy explains why honest self-assessment is not about taking all the blame. It is about recognizing the part of the situation that is actually within our control. When we can see our own patterns, habits, and blind spots, we have something we can change. Self-awareness, as Cindy puts it, can be a career accelerant.

Cindy explores the blind spots that can make us harder to work with than we realize, including defensiveness and becoming a “polite saboteur,” where resentment and disagreement hide behind good manners. She points to several signs that deserve our attention: recurring conflict, an instinct to explain away feedback, being quietly left out of conversations, hearing the same criticism from more than one person, and feeling increasingly isolated at work. Rather than acting like a defense attorney building the case for our innocence, Cindy encourages us to conduct a forensic investigation and ask three questions: 1. What is the part that I am playing in this? 2. How am I contributing to this situation? 3. Who am I blaming for this situation that I’m experiencing?

Once we recognize our contribution, Cindy says there is a choice between opting out and going through it. Going through it means staying present with what is actually true, repairing relationships when necessary, and accepting that other people still may not respond the way we want them to. Cindy recommends asking for specific feedback, getting curious instead of defensive, looking for patterns across professional relationships, repairing friction directly, conducting our own forensic investigations, and getting support from someone who can reflect what we cannot see ourselves. Once we can see a blind spot, we can work with it. Asking whether we might be part of the problem is not a verdict. It is an opportunity to take back some power and become someone people trust and want to work with.

Key Moments:

00:00 What If Some of It Is You? 

01:38 When You Are the Common Denominator 

03:10 Self-Awareness Is a Career Accelerant 

04:39 Understanding Your Blind Spots 

06:12 What Defensiveness Is Telling You 

07:38 The Polite Saboteur 

09:30 Signs You Might Be the Problem 

12:26 Conduct a Forensic Investigation 

13:51 The Choice to Go Through It 

15:15 Turn Self-Awareness Into Action

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger explores the gap between the level we’re operating at and the title on our business card. We too often wait for the promotion before developing executive presence, assuming we need permission to start acting like a leader. Cindy argues that this has the order backwards. Presence isn’t a mask or an attempt to become someone else. It’s about making existing strategic thinking, judgment, and leadership ability more visible, so decision-makers don’t have to struggle to imagine us operating at the next level.

Cindy explains that leadership begins with moving from execution to influence. Instead of simply completing tasks, we demonstrate readiness by shaping priorities, reframing problems, offering recommendations, and taking ownership of gaps that weren’t specifically designated to us. She identifies three concrete behavioral shifts that help make that transition visible: 1. Speak in terms of outcomes, not tasks, 2. Ask questions that reframe the problem, and 3. Take ownership of things nobody assigned us. That presence also shows up in managing professional relationships. Managing up means bringing options and a recommendation instead of just reporting problems. Managing across means building trust and becoming the connective tissue between teams. Managing down means staying composed enough that people feel safe bringing bad news forward while it’s still fixable.

Cindy also discusses gravitas, a core component of executive presence, and describes three key ways to build it: clarity, composure, and credibility. It means saying the main point first, creating a pause between what happens and the response, following through, and setting boundaries without apologizing or overexplaining. But maintaining that level of self-monitoring takes energy, so Cindy offers four strategies for making presence sustainable: 1. Build in downtime on purpose, 2. Separate presence from performance, 3. Batch emotional labor, and 4. Treat recovery time as maintenance, not indulgence. Ultimately, developing presence before permission is about closing the gap between how we already think and how visible that thinking is to others. It happens through small, repeated choices that allow capability to shine without pretending to be someone else.

Key Moments:

00:00 Developing Presence Before Permission

02:50 Why Waiting for the Title Holds You Back

04:00 Moving From Execution to Influence

06:54 Managing Up, Across, and Down

08:24 What Gravitas Actually Looks Like

12:53 Setting Boundaries With Presence

17:05 Making Executive Presence Sustainable

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger explores what happens when years of quietly minimizing ourselves at work start to make our expertise invisible. Many of us have learned to soften our language, wait to be asked for our thoughts, and let the confident answers of others stand even when we know there is a better one. Cindy explains why being competent is not enough if no one understands the contribution we’re making. Visibility is not vanity. It’s information, and closing the gap between how capable we are and how visible we allow that capability to be is essential to career growth.

Reclaiming our voice means noticing how often we ask permission to use it. Tentative preambles, qualifiers, overthinking, and waiting until an idea is certain quietly undermine our authority and can keep us from contributing at all. Cindy reminds us that the people who invited us into the room have already decided that our expertise belongs there. Speaking with conviction means trusting our preparation enough to put an idea on the table. The same applies when we disagree. Avoiding conflict doesn’t preserve harmony. Respectful disagreement can build trust, especially when we make the point about the work rather than the person and present a solution to a problem.

How we use our voice matters too. Cindy identifies three specific habits worth listening for: 1. Uptalk, 2. Pace, and 3. Qualifiers. The goal is not to sound like someone else or perform confidence. It’s to recognize the habits that undercut the expertise and authority we’ve already earned. Reclaiming our voice takes practice, but over time the gap between what we know and what we allow others to see can close.

Key Moments:

[00:00:07] When You Have the Idea but Don’t Say It

[00:02:57] Visibility Isn’t Vanity

[00:05:43] Position Your Expertise Strategically

[00:07:17] Stop Asking Permission to Speak

[00:10:14] Choose Boldness Over Burnout

[00:13:07] Disagreement Can Build Trust

[00:17:23] Three Vocal Habits That Can Undercut Authority

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger looks into the gap between who we have become and what we still won't allow ourselves to believe is possible. Many accomplished women in engineering have already exceeded anything their younger selves could have imagined, but continue to play smaller than their capabilities suggest because of learned patterns that prioritize safety over possibility. Cindy explains how these patterns develop, why they persist long after the original threat has passed, and how they quietly limit career opportunities. Rather than chasing more achievements, she encourages us to give ourselves permission to imagine what comes next and to build careers rooted in curiosity instead of fear.

Much of what holds us back is not a lack of confidence but a nervous system that learned to stay safe through appeasing others. Cindy introduces the concept of the fawn response and how it can appear in everyday work situations, from staying quiet in meetings to over apologizing, overcommitting, or constantly managing other people's comfort. She explains the difference between perfection and wholeness, encouraging us to stop measuring ourselves against impossible standards and instead embrace growth as an ongoing process. Rather than trying to become a polished, finished version of ourselves, she reminds us that we can be whole while still evolving.

Cindy offers practical ways to begin shifting these deeply ingrained patterns: Pause before automatically saying yes to requests, ground ourselves by reconnecting with our senses when our minds start anticipating threats, ask ourselves what we genuinely think and want instead of defaulting to what is expected of us, and follow the threads of curiosity that fascinated us as a child. Treat career growth as an ongoing practice of experimentation rather than something to perfect. Cindy reminds us that by choosing curiosity over control and trusting our own instincts, we become examples of what’s possible for anyone who comes after us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the career plot twist and why so many ambitious professionals wait until burnout forces us to make a change instead of recognizing the warning signs early. Drawing on her own experience of reaching a breaking point, she explains how success can quietly become unsustainable through a series of small decisions that add up to an overwhelming burden. Cindy challenges the common beliefs that we need to do what we love, find our purpose through work, or say yes to prove our value. Instead, she encourages us to redefine success on our own terms and recognize that just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.

Rather than waiting for circumstances to dictate the next career chapter, Cindy shares five practical suggestions for recognizing and planning a career plot twist before burnout takes over: 1. It’s not necessary to have it all figured out before taking the first step, 2. Ask better questions, 3. Ask how much planning is actually enough, 4. Learn to spot the signs that it's time to move on, and 5. Make peace with the road not taken. She explains how setting boundaries became the most transformative tool in her own career, allowing her to regain control without sacrificing success.

Cindy also explains that recognizing the need for change is only half the challenge. The other half is effectively negotiating for it. She walks through a three-phase approach of preparation, discovery, and agreement, showing how to advocate for career changes in a way that supports both individual goals and organizational needs. Cindy emphasizes that sustainable success isn't built by creating a bigger bonfire. It comes from building a career that leaves room to thrive rather than burn out. By regularly revisiting boundaries and defining our own ‘enough’ point, we can build careers that grow with us rather than consume us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger examines what happens when we have a bigger vision for our career than our current work environment supports. Bold ideas can disappear into the ether when colleagues are more comfortable following the agenda, protecting the status quo, or doing things the same way they’ve always been done. Wanting to think outside the box is not a flaw, and Cindy points out that dreaming bigger is a practice, especially when fear, limited thinking, and workplace pressure make safety feel more responsible than possibility.

Cindy identifies three fears that often shape career decisions: 1. Fear of failure, 2. Fear of rejection, and 3. Fear of instability. These fears are real, but they’re data instead of instructions to stop. Cindy contrasts safety-driven decisions, which ask what will keep us comfortable, with aligned decisions, which ask what we need to do the work we actually came to do. She encourages us to consult our future selves by asking three questions: 1. Who have we become?, 2. What did we have to let go of to get here, and 3. What is the one thing we would tell ourselves today that would save us two years of hesitation?

Cindy also challenges us to get honest about what we truly want, without requiring a business case or immediate proof that it’s possible. When the answer feels buried, she offers four questions to help us uncover it: 1. If we already knew the answer, what would it be? 2. In a perfect world with no constraints on possibility, what would we want? 3. What is the thing we’ve always wanted but never said out loud, and 4. If nobody in our lives had an opinion about it, what would we do? Specific wants create something to plan around. The goal isn’t to wait for permission from small thinkers, but to deliberately seek out generous and curious people who are willing to think bigger, explore possibilities, and support meaningful career growth.

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger explores why accountability has earned such a negative reputation and reframes it as one of the most empowering tools we can develop in our careers. Rather than treating accountability as punishment or as another way to criticize ourselves, she explains how it shifts our focus away from waiting for recognition and toward building confidence and control. In workplaces where expectations are often unclear and recognition is inconsistent, accountability becomes a way to reclaim personal power rather than relying on external validation.

Cindy explains that many of us associate accountability with being harder on ourselves, admitting failure, or trying to earn recognition in systems that may never reward our efforts fairly. She distinguishes accountability from punishment by showing that accountability is forward-looking and rooted in growth, while punishment keeps us trapped in shame and self-criticism. She also explores how accountability applies not only to ourselves but also to creating clarity with others by setting expectations, documenting agreements, and encouraging follow-through. Cindy highlights how developing internal standards strengthens self-worth, improves decision-making, and helps us identify when to advocate for ourselves or move on from environments that no longer serve us.

Cindy identifies five workplace warning signs that make healthy accountability difficult: 1. Vague expectations without clear deliverables, 2. Lack of consequences when others don’t deliver, 3. Credit stealing goes unnoticed, 4. Shifting goalposts, and 5. Isolation when we are the only woman or one of very few. She also shares five practical strategies for building accountability in an empowering way: 1. Control the controllables, 2. Take care of our foundation, 3. Make small controllable changes, 4. Create rituals and routines, and 5. Encourage accountability in others. Accountability is not about working harder for someone else's approval. It is about building the confidence, evidence, and self-trust to create the career you truly want.

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.