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032: Stop Trying to Understand People and CONNECT Instead
We all think we are great listeners. But, are we really? Listening is a forgotten skill. One we often take for granted. If you are committed to being an extraordinary partner or friend, listening is perhaps one of the greatest tools at your disposal.
Listen today to learn exactly what it means to listen to CONNECT rather than merely to understand.
Timestamps:
[02:00] Life updates!
[04:30] Today’s topic: what great listeners actually do.
[05:42] You cannot be listening well without doing this.
[08:39] Listening from the lens of objection and judgment vs. listening from the lens of connecting (Simone Biles example).
[15:23] What does it take to truly be able to listen well to your partner?
[17:47] What does it mean to listen to connect?
[20:41] An example of bad listening skills from the TV show Golden Girls.
[25:50] We assume that we know how to listen, but do we?
[30:44] 3 actionable ways to be a better listener ("double-clicking" and more).
[39:00] Why are emotionally intelligent people better listeners?
[47:08] Your assignment for next time you speak to ANYONE.
4 Key Takeaways:
Emotional intelligence helps you become a better listener and more aware of your biases. It allows you to practice self-awareness and know how to regulate it. Self-awareness allows you to be present and thus be an effective listener.
When you listen to someone, immerse yourself enough into what the other person’s world is like. Ask yourself: what is this person hoping I will get out of talking to them?
Listening builds trust. When judgment creeps up when you are hearing someone speak, replace those thoughts with thinking “what is this person feeling?” “what are the real drivers behind this person’s emotions?”
When interacting with someone, try to understand the purpose behind the conversation. This way, you prime yourself for connection. Listening is doing whatever you need to do to get into the other person’s world.
Book: Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results by Judith E. Glaser: https://www.amazon.com/Conversational-Intelligence-Leaders-Extraordinary-Results/dp/1937134679
If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!
Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.
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By Elix Cintron
5
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We all think we are great listeners. But, are we really? Listening is a forgotten skill. One we often take for granted. If you are committed to being an extraordinary partner or friend, listening is perhaps one of the greatest tools at your disposal.
Listen today to learn exactly what it means to listen to CONNECT rather than merely to understand.
Timestamps:
[02:00] Life updates!
[04:30] Today’s topic: what great listeners actually do.
[05:42] You cannot be listening well without doing this.
[08:39] Listening from the lens of objection and judgment vs. listening from the lens of connecting (Simone Biles example).
[15:23] What does it take to truly be able to listen well to your partner?
[17:47] What does it mean to listen to connect?
[20:41] An example of bad listening skills from the TV show Golden Girls.
[25:50] We assume that we know how to listen, but do we?
[30:44] 3 actionable ways to be a better listener ("double-clicking" and more).
[39:00] Why are emotionally intelligent people better listeners?
[47:08] Your assignment for next time you speak to ANYONE.
4 Key Takeaways:
Emotional intelligence helps you become a better listener and more aware of your biases. It allows you to practice self-awareness and know how to regulate it. Self-awareness allows you to be present and thus be an effective listener.
When you listen to someone, immerse yourself enough into what the other person’s world is like. Ask yourself: what is this person hoping I will get out of talking to them?
Listening builds trust. When judgment creeps up when you are hearing someone speak, replace those thoughts with thinking “what is this person feeling?” “what are the real drivers behind this person’s emotions?”
When interacting with someone, try to understand the purpose behind the conversation. This way, you prime yourself for connection. Listening is doing whatever you need to do to get into the other person’s world.
Book: Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results by Judith E. Glaser: https://www.amazon.com/Conversational-Intelligence-Leaders-Extraordinary-Results/dp/1937134679
If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!
Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.