This program's "You Break It, You Bought It" policy is not limited to copies of the late Michael Stanley's album of the same name, though handling with care is recommended all the same. There's a reason the sign on the door reads, "lovely to look at, delightful to hold, if you should break it, FUCK YOU, IT'S SOLD". Simply put, most of you are as rude as you are clumsy and I've had enough trying to glue together merchandise damaged by America's dumbest customers. It's going to be a minor inconvenience having to handcuff each individual who wishes to listen to this show, but on the bright side, at least there aren't very many of you.