if this were a real call-in show, an all-too obvious topic for discussion might be "who is the worst live band you've ever seen?" I mean, for there are some all-too obvious candidates (Sump, Juliette Lewis & The Licks, Quiet Company, Ween) however what does it mean if you never thought the band in question was any good to begin with? How can you properly measure a performance if you’re already disinclined to like the material or the performers?

so maybe the real worst show you’ve ever seen is someone you otherwise respected or liked who simply shit the bed. Onstage (or in bed). This would be a great topic for this week's show except a) we don't have the technological know-how to  take calls for a prerecorded show and b) I really cannot stand the sound of anyone else's voice besides my own. SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO HASH IT OUT IN THE COMMENTS (again). 

(above : Anti-Nowhere League, best set I ever saw by a genuinely awful band - potential topic for a future episode)

While the New York Knicks are on the precipice of reaching the Eastern Conference Finals, said development neatly coincides with Erik and Lyle Menendez (shown above sitting courtside at a 1990 Knicks game) being eligible for parole, there is the likelihood, however slim, the convicted parent-slayers might actually be front and center when Jalen Brunson, Karl-Anthony Townes et al capture New York's first NBA Championship in 52 years. 

Of course, this would require someone else being supplanted from Celebrity Row and today's program will consider who is the best self-obsessed candidate to get the heave-ho.  It really should not take two hours to determine MICHAEL RAPAPORT is the obvious choice (while he's not a double murderer, he's been murdering acting, sports yak and world affairs commentary for longer than anyone cares to remember) and that's very good because I had to find some way of cramming in nearly two hours of music this week.  Current events be damned, with the possible exception of The Damned’s local appearance this Saturday night (which neatly coincides with my referring to Jalen Brunson as Captain Sensible). 

I really hate the expression "there's so much to unpack" but regarding Celtic Frost's open solicitation for auditioning drummers,  THERE'S SO MUCH TO UNPACK.  "MUST BE WILLING TO LIVE IN SWITZERLAND".  "MUST BE WILLING TO TURN A BLIND EYE TO ASSAULTING SOMEONE IN A MOTLEY CRUE TEE".  "WE HAVE A STRONG IMAGE" (yeah, we've seen the back cover to 'Cold Lake'). 

We can spend all day getting bogged down in whether or not there's a contradiction between coveting a drummer who is "wild" but also expecting one who is "precise".  And that's exactly what I am going to do, I am going to get TOTALLY FUCKING BOGGED DOWN in whether or not there's a contradiction.  This examination will take place during the program's third hour.

while preparing this week’s sbow,  like many of you, I could not help but reflect on Shedeur Sanders’ precipitous free-fall thru the NFL Draft, with the projected early-round pick sliding thru rounds 1-5, then doing a complete nose dive thru the UFL Draft before finally being selected in 3rd round of the 2025 Arena Football League draft. Despite Sanders’ humiliation, this is an impressive achievement just the same given the AFL has been defunct since 2019. But Sanders’ difficult weekend brought to mind so many of the challenges I face with this show every week. Impossibly high expectations. A cruel, callous media (to say nothing of the public) that cannot wait to micro-analyze even the tiniest of errors. And then of course, there’s the irrational jealousy on the part of my alleged friends & colleagues in the online radio game. 

Much like Mr. Sanders, I’m a manufactured-motivation FACTORY over here. He’ll persevere and if the same is true of myself, I’ll be certain to TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

good morning dear friends

much as been written this week about the passing of Pope Francis, in particular the unfortunate timing that saw his Holiness meeting with J.D. Vance just hours before expiring. 
 
 It is probably the height of exaggeration to claim Vance’s was the last face Pope Francis saw, however it does poses the question, if you were near death, whose face would you like to be the last one you laid eyes upon before transitioning to the great beyond?
 
 I’ve thought about this long and hard and I’ve decided the only answer for me is veteran character actor Richard Masur.  I’ve never met the man and know little about him past his thespian prowess, but in a large percentage of his appearances on the big and small screen, his presence seems imbued with care and empathy.   I know, most of you are making obvious choices like The Great Kat or Ed “Too Tall” Jones, but during _my_ final moments on this metal coil, I’d rather gaze deeply into the eyes of a deeply thoughtful, caring person (even if that person is merely playing the role of a deeply thoughtful, caring person). 
 
 I was going to take calls on this subject on today’s program, however I’ve misplaced my telephone.  You’ll have to settle for another, mostly-music episode. 

much has been written /meme’d over the past 48 hours about the successful efforts to send Katy Perry into outer space (and yes, she has returned safely, so you can all exhale, finally) and to some degree I can understand the public’s frustration.  I’ve been petitioning FOR YEARS to send other performers to into outer space (not necessarily with a return ticket, it depends) and have received no response whatsoever from any of these private space travel firms.  We’re never gonna know, for instance, how humanity might’ve benefitted from Spam Axe of Teddy & The Frat Girls being blasted beyond the earth’s atmosphere for 20 minutes, but that’s just as well as EVR’s rights clearance department informs me playing Teddy & The Frat Girls’ “Club Nite” on loop for 120 Minutes is not only a terms of service violation, but it’s also “really lazy programming”.  OK, I’m paraphrasing.  I was told it was “really fucking lazy programming”. 

 it seems there’s a bit of a problem in that during the show from two weeks ago we had to ban someone from the EVR chat room for posting “White Lotus” spoilers.   Then last week, we had to ban someone from posting “JAG” spoilers (here’s one - did you know that “JAG” is an acronym for “Judge Advocate General”?).  I realize this seems like a slippery slope but if you want unfettered, free expression, maybe there’s another chat room for you on the dark web (hopefully one entirely devoted to “JAG” spoilers — here’s another, the show is terrible)

it's been a tough week already.  Hello torpedo bats -- wouldn't everyone be happier if they were torpedo cats?  Goodbye Val Kilmer, thanks for "Top Secret" (and perhaps to a lesser extent for driving not one, but 2 successive directors to distraction on "The Island Of Dr. Moreau").  Hello plans for a 2nd Sully From Godsmack autobiography (clearly the world's paper shortage resulted in vol. 1 being less than fully realized).  In the midst of all this turbulence --- cultural, political,, etc., there is one constant in this irreparably fucked up world and that's The Radio Hour That Feels Like Two Hours.  You know that every week, I'm going to help you make sense out of the senseless.  OK, that's completely untrue., it;s more like you're going to help me make cents out of the senseless after EVR cuts me in for a percentage of the underwriting windfall that's long overdue.  The important thing is that we're helping EACH OTHER (and after all this time, I it's time you finally reciprocated). 

given the show is a little long in the tooth, I thought it might be fun this to replay an older episode, perhaps one from the year 1925. The part that makes it confusing is that even 100 years ago i was a particularly well-versed time traveler (you’ve heard of Dr. Who? Well, now you’ve met Dr. What The Fuck). This week’s broadcast of a show from 1925 sounds unusually contemporary because I’d zapped myself into 2025 to pick out the repertoire. Needless to say, all of this century hopping has me laid up with a nasty case of Fred G. Sanford level WHIPLASH but I’m hoping you’ll find it all as entertaining and educational as always. If I happen to say something wildly inappropriate, please keep in mind the bullshit excuse, “those were different times” actually flies in this case because it _was_ a different time. It was a hundred fucking years ago.

(above : I’d wanted to include a picture of the pod from “Timecop” but I got distracted and ended up watching another, earlier time travel saga, “Freejack” (1992, dir. Geoff Murphy) and that’s another reason why I’m gonna be laid up all day) 

good morning dear friends.  If you’re like me, your social media has been chock-a-block with stories concerning a regional tech/influencer convention “reducing their footprint” in coming years and there’s no shortage of misinformed, self-styled experts willing to declare the entire endeavor deader than Deadsy.  To which I say, PISH FUCKIN’ POSH.  Did Tom Vu throw in the towel the first time he had a poor turnout at the Best Western?  Did Marshall Applewhite take his ball and go home the first time he failed to fill a room?  And if he did, is there such thing as an official mass suicide ball (signed by Bowie Kuhn)?
 
 Without even making a Dr. Gene Scott analogy, if there’s one thing I’m overly confident about (other than thinking anyone wants to hear this show) is that the next generation of grifters and narcissists will continue to find an audience, even if they have to lay low for a year or 3.  Goodbye Austin Convention Center, HELLO KICK BUTT COFFEE.  

(above : likely location to pick up your 2025 Platinum Pass)